Sins of the Father
by strwbrygrl77
Summary: "High school me would have eaten high school you alive." What if it hadn't been Mark in high school? What if it had been Marshall? How would things have turned out for our favorite Marshals? VERY AU fic. -CURRENTLY ON HIATUS-
1. NY Stranger

**A/N: I can't stay away - LOL! I've had this idea for months and months now and it's finally forming itself into a story that won't leave me alone. So I lovingly dedicate it to all my faithful and loyal readers who want MORE of my IPS stories - without you guys, I doubt my IPS muses would still be churning them out.**

**This is a VERY AU story based on the quote from the episode 'Son of Mann' and the idea that Mary got together with Marshall instead of Mark in high school. There will be back and forth in the storytelling between the present and past and also Mary and Marshall are a bit younger in this universe, in their mid-30's. Enjoy the ride - it's going to be an angsty one.**

* * *

_**Marshall:**__ I wish I'd had you in high school._

_**Mary:**__ High school me would have eaten high school you alive._

_-**'Son of Mann'**_

* * *

**Present Day**

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I have turned on the fasten seat belt sign as we begin our final descent to Albuquerque. Please stow your tray tables and return your seats to their upright positions, and turn off all electronic devices in preparation for landing."

Liam removed the ear buds and turned off his iPhone, nudging the girl dozing on his shoulder. She sighed and burrowed further into his neck. "Jules," he whispered, removing one of her ear buds, "Turn off your music – we're landing."

Julia opened sleepy eyes and smiled at her boyfriend. "Already?"

He snorted. "Seriously? You've been asleep since we left Atlanta."

She smothered a yawn as she sat up and turned off her iPod. "I don't know how you stayed awake. Sleeping for ten nights on a gym floor was not fun."

Liam shrugged. "I guess I had stuff on my mind."

Her dark eyes met his light ones. "Are you still thinking about her?"

He shrugged again and looked out the window as the plane dipped below the clouds. She leaned over his shoulder to whisper in his ear. "Maybe it wasn't her- you've never seen her in person, you know."

He turned his head to glare at her. "I think I'd know my own –" he swallowed the word, and glanced around the crowded cabin of the plane, but the rest of their classmates were oblivious to their conversation. "Dad has pictures of her everywhere, Jules."

"But those pictures are seventeen years old," she pointed out quietly.

"She doesn't look that different – just older. Besides, I have her eyes," Liam swallowed as he turned and stared out the window again. Julia rested her chin on his shoulder. Anyone who passed by would think she was peering out the window when in fact she was comforting him the best she could in front of all their chaperones.

"Did she recognize you?"

"Why would she? I'm sure she's forgotten all about the son she left behind seventeen years ago-"

"Liam-" Julia placed her hand on his back.

"Drop it, Jules. I don't want to talk about it – not here, not now, ok?"

"Okay – but, you are going to tell your Dad, right?"

Liam leaned his forehead against the tiny window, as he thought of telling his dad the news that he had seen his mom in NYC. What would he say? Would he even believe him?

"I don't know-"

"You have to!" she hissed, leaning closer. "He needs to know."

"What makes you think he doesn't already know?" Liam whipped his head around to glare at her. "He's a US Marshall for God's sake – I'm not so sure he hasn't known for years where she's been."

"That's crazy – surely if he'd known he would have tried to bring her back – for you if not for him."

Liam shrugged. "Maybe he did and she said no – I've always had the feeling that things between my folks are very complicated."

Julia bit her lip. "But he still loves her, right? I mean, he still wears his wedding ring and everything."

He nodded. "Yeah, Dad still loves her – I can't think why. She's the one who ran out on us."

"He's never told you why?"

Liam shook his head. "Just that one day I could ask her myself."

Julia gasped. "So he does know where she is!"

He nodded slowly. "I've always thought so – but I don't know what he's waiting for. I mean, if he knew she was in NYC, he could have told me so I was prepared to run into her. I was a complete idiot and just let her walk away!"

Julia squeezed his hand. "I'm sure he'll help you find her again – if that's what you want?" she raised her eyebrows in a question.

He squeezed her hand back as the wheels touched down and they were thrown forward in their seats from the impact. "I don't know, Jules. I just don't know."

* * *

"There he is! Will!"

Liam waved to Rosa and weaved through the last few people beyond security and leaned down to embrace the petite woman who was so much more than their housekeeper. She had practically raised him and he loved her like the mother he'd never had. He pulled back but she captured his face in her hands, planting a kiss on each cheek. "Oh, how we missed you, carino! I have no idea how your father and I are going to survive in the fall when you go off to college."

Liam smiled. "Where is Dad?"

Rosa shrugged. "Where do you think?"

"Work."

"He wanted to be here-"

Liam bit down his disappointment. He knew that it was rare to have the kind of relationship he and his dad had – most of his friends didn't understand it at all and he didn't know how to explain it to them. Maybe it was the fact that his dad was all he'd had growing up and even though Marshall's job had kept him away periodically, Liam always knew that he came first in his dad's life. That's why he was dreading telling him about seeing his mom in NYC – he knew it would cause his father pain and that was the last thing he wanted.

There had been many nights when he couldn't sleep and had crept to the kitchen for a glass of water, passing his dad's room on the way. There was always a light on and Liam would creep closer and peer inside to see his dad sitting on the side of the bed, cradling a picture of the three of them taken when he was just a newborn. His dad would sometimes be whispering to the picture, and sometimes not, but always there would be a tear or two on his face. When he found him like this the night before he left, Liam could stand it no longer. He pushed the door open and walked inside.

"I was wondering how long it would take before you came inside."

Liam's mouth fell open. "You knew I was out there?"

Marshall smiled. "I'm a US Marshal, son. I've heard you get up every night for years – but tonight's the first time you've come inside – why?"

"Because I can't stand it anymore!" Liam crossed to the side of the bed and whipped the picture out of his dad's hands. "Why do you continue to torment yourself night after night? Put this away, Dad! It hurts me to see you like this."

Marshall sighed. "I'm sorry – I wait until I think you're asleep before-"

"That's not the point! Dad, you've got to move on! I don't want to go off to Harvard in the fall knowing that you sit here and wallow in misery every night. She's gone! She's not coming back."

"You don't know that."

"It's been seventeen years – isn't that enough proof? Fuck, Dad-"

"Watch your mouth, William Mann. You're not too old for me to wash your mouth out."

"Sorry – I just – she can't be worth all this –"

Marshall's eyes flashed as he snatched the picture back. "Until you've loved and lost and heard her side of things, I don't think you're in any position to judge her. Good night."

"Dad-"

"Good night, Will."

Their parting at the airport the next morning had been strained and even though they had texted multiple times a day while he was gone, Liam hadn't realized how much he missed his dad and wanted him to be here until he wasn't. Rosa had continued talking while he was lost in his thoughts and he was startled when the baggage conveyor belts came into view.

"And I've made your favorite meal – I know you've got to be tired of eating out."

Liam smiled. "Actually, the parents cooked for us in the school kitchen most of the time – but it was nothing like your cooking, Rosa. You're going to have to send me care packages when I'm at Harvard."

"Don't give her ideas, Son."

"Dad!"

Liam threw himself into Marshall's arms and the two embraced tightly. He pulled back to look into his dad's face. "I'm sorry for-"

Marshall shook his head. "The fault is mine."

"No, Dad, I shouldn't have-"

"Are you two done?" Rosa broke in and they turned to see that she had retrieved Liam's bags while they were arguing. "Because I want to get our boy home."

Marshall clapped his son on the shoulder. "Sounds good to me."

* * *

Liam groaned as he pushed his empty plate away. "Rosa, you've outdone yourself. I couldn't eat another bite."

She pouted as she pulled something from the fridge. "Not even my cherry pie?"

Liam moaned as Marshall laughed. "Well, maybe just a sliver."

After huge wedges of cherry pie and vanilla ice cream, Rosa shooed the men out of her kitchen so she could clean up and go home. Marshall carried his after dinner coffee to his office and Liam trailed after him, wondering if he should spoil the peace that had once again descended between them.

"So, are you going to tell me what's on your mind?"

Liam's head snapped up and Marshall smiled. "How do you always know?"

"I'm your father."

"Come on, dad – there's got to be some clue, some tell I have because I've been very careful to act normal tonight-"

Marshall smiled sadly. "You've been rubbing the knuckle of your right index finger – your mother used to do that when she was nervous or scared or had something on her mind that she wanted to tell me and wasn't sure how to."

Liam looked down and started as he saw that his father was right. He stuffed his hands in his pockets as he dropped into a chair. "Yeah, well, your left eye twitches when you're lying," he shot back.

Marshall grinned. "I know – that's why I never play poker." The smile slipped as he tasted his coffee. "So, what's up?"

Liam shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Maybe we should wait until tomorrow."

Marshall cocked his head. "Will saving the news for tomorrow change anything?"

Liam thought for a few seconds before shaking his head. "No – I just – I don't want to hurt you, Dad."

Marshall leaned back in his chair, exhaling slowly. "This is about your mother."

Liam nodded. "I saw her – in the city."

"You're sure it was her?"

Liam nodded.

For several moments, Marshall didn't speak as he fiddled with the wedding band on his ring finger. Liam was dying to ask him a million questions but the pained faraway expression kept him quiet. Finally, Marshall focused back on his son. "Tell me what happened – don't leave anything out."

Liam cleared his throat. "We were leaving IHOP – it was yesterday morning – I texted you and sent you a couple of pics from the restaurant, remember?" he waited for his dad's nod before continuing. "Anyway, when I got back on the bus, I realized I'd left my phone on the table, so I told Mr. Lewinski and ran back inside. I was checking my phone for texts and not looking where I was going when I ran straight into her-" he paused to clear his throat again. "I opened my mouth to say sorry but when I saw it was her I couldn't speak. She apologized and asked me if I was OK. I nodded but Dad; I must have looked like an idiot because I couldn't stop staring at her. Finally she just walked away and left me standing there."

Marshall took a deep breath. "And you're absolutely sure it was your mother?"

Hurt rose inside of Liam, but he quickly squashed it. Of course his dad wanted to be sure – he hadn't been there, he hadn't seen her. Liam nodded. "Someone called her 'Shannon'-" he saw his dad flinch and he hurried on. "And I did manage to snap out of my stupor long enough to take her picture."

"What? Did she see you do that?"

Liam shook his head. "I just took a quick profile shot as I ran out." He fished his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his pics. "Here."

Marshall's hand shook as he took the phone and stared at the screen.

"Is it her?" Liam pressed him for an answer.

Marshall nodded, his throat tight. "Yes, it's Mary. This is your mother."

So many emotions swirled through Liam that he didn't know which one to voice. His eyes fluttered shut and his fists clenched as he tried to come to grips with the fact that he had indeed literally run into his mother forty-eight hours ago and she hadn't known him from Adam.

"Will?" Marshall called softly. "Are you all right?"

"Fuck, Dad! I don't know what I am," Liam snorted. "Sorry, I know you don't like it when I swear-"

"I'll let it slide this time – it perfectly sums up how you're feeling."

"Did you know she was in New York?"

Marshall shook his head. "No. I would have warned you if I knew – please believe that, Will."

Liam nodded. "I do, Dad – but I've had the feeling for years now that you did know where she was."

Marshall took another deep breath. "That's because I did."

Liam jumped to his feet. "What the hell, Dad? Didn't you think I deserved to know that kind of information?"

Marshall held up his hand. "Listen to me, Will. I wanted you to be old enough to go to her on your own, if you wanted to, to get the answers you seek."

"Wait, you mean you won't come with me?"

Marshall shook his head. "No, Mary knows where I am if she wants to talk to me."

"She knows where- you're saying she's a Marshal too?"

"I can't tell you that."

Liam rolled his eyes. "You just did by not telling me."

Marshall shrugged. "If that's the way you want to interpret what I said-"

Liam strode forward and hit his palm on the desk. "Damnit, Dad! Don't you want answers? Aren't there questions you want to ask her after all these years?"

"Of course. But I have time. You're off to Harvard in the fall and if you want answers and to make a connection with your mother-"

"Whoa!" Liam reared back on his heels. "Who says I want to connect with her? She abandoned us! I just want to know why so I can give you and me some closure."

Marshall sighed. "Life isn't that black and white, Son. There are so many shades of gray – you're going to find that out the hard way if you think you can just go to Miami, ask your mother why she left, and then you can leave her, no muss no fuss."

"That sounds good to me." Liam paused in the doorway. "She lives in Miami?"

Marshall nodded. "Currently – and when she's not on the road for her job."

"How will I catch her at home then?"

"For starters, I think you should wait til school's out for the summer."

"And then?"

"Then I'll plan a vacation for you – and don't worry, I'll make sure your mom's home."

"How?"

Marshall grinned. "By doing my job."

* * *

**A/N: For any of you who are confused, Liam's name is William Mann - his friends call him Liam but Marshall and Rosa call him Will. Also, if anyone thinks Marshall isn't mad at Mary - think again.**

**Thoughts? Want more? Reviews are LOVE - and keep me writing! ;)**


	2. Sister, Sister

**A/N: I'm so glad everyone likes this AU story! I was planning a flashback chapter - but my Marshall muse had other ideas. Enjoy!**

* * *

"_If it takes forever I will wait for you._

_For a thousand summers I will wait for you."_

_-Andy Williams_

* * *

**Two weeks later**

"Was that the doorbell?"

"Yeah, Dad, I got it!" Liam yelled over his shoulder as he opened the front door. "Aunt Brandi – whoa! You're even bigger than when I left for NYC."

Brandi lifted her oversized purse and gave a half hearted attempt to brain her favorite nephew. "Watch it, sport."

Liam caught her wrist and pulled her into a hug. "How are you feeling? Only a few weeks to go, right?"

Brandi sighed as she nodded against his shoulder. "Five – but it might as well be a year! I feel like I've been pregnant forever!"

Liam stepped back to let her inside, and shifted on his feet uncomfortably. He never knew what to say when women started talking about 'girl' things, even Julia. He had no idea how his dad seemed to take it in stride-

"Mary was the same way," Marshall called from the kitchen as he set a large platter of ribs on the island. "The last few weeks of her pregnancy weren't pleasant for me," he grimaced at the memory.

Brandi set her purse on the couch and waddled into the kitchen. "I'm afraid I'm making Peter's life hell as well."

Marshall swung an arm around her shoulders. "That's our cross to bear as the husband and father-to-be."

Brandi swatted his arm and Marshall laughed. "Don't play the martyr card with me, Marshall Mann. I was there, remember? I saw you give it back to my sister as good as she dished it out to you." Brandi sniffed and Marshall silently handed her a tissue. "I miss her."

"I know you do," Marshall whispered as his eyes met his son's over her head. "Brandi, there's something-"

"Hey, are those your homemade BBQ ribs?" she gasped as her eyes lit on the platter for the first time.

Marshall chuckled. "Yes."

Brandi groaned. "How did you know-"

"About your craving? I talked to Peter earlier and asked."

Brandi shook her head as tears filled her eyes. "I'll never understand why my sister left you, Marshall. You're one in a million."

He handed her another tissue. "That's your hormones talking, Bee."

She shook her head. "No, it's not. You've taken care of me ever since she left – oh, I know it was your parents who took me in and raised me after mom died but we both know that if you'd been able to support me and Will, you would have taken me with you. As it was I followed you here as soon as I could – and you didn't turn me away." She sniffed into her tissue. "You're the big brother I always wanted."

Marshall kissed the top of her head. "And you're the little sister I never had."

Liam cleared his throat. "Is the whole night going to be this mushy? 'Cause I'll bail right now and go hang out with Julia-"

Marshall laughed. "Sorry, Will. Women are extra emotional when pregnant."

"Extra?" he repeated, swallowing hard. "Damn, I'm in trouble."

This time, his aunt joined in his father's laughter.

* * *

"Marshall, I need your help."

He stared at his brother-in-law in surprise. "I'll help if I can. What is it?"

"With your stubborn sister here," he jabbed his fork in Brandi's direction. "She's refusing to listen to me."

Marshall's mouth quirked but he managed to keep the grin from forming. "About what?"

"About going back to work once the baby's born."

Brandi leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her swollen belly. Liam could read her body language plain as day and wanted to kick his uncle's knee under the table but since this would prove to be an entertaining discussion with possible fireworks that didn't involve him, he bit his tongue and watched.

"I've told you, Peter, I love my job – I want to go back once my maternity leave is over."

"But honey, you don't need to work – tell her, Marshall."

Marshall held up his hands as Brandi glared at her husband. "I want to work – I know I don't have to but I also don't want to live off your wealth. I'm not a gold digger."

"Brandi, I don't think that – no one thinks that."

"Your family does-"

"No, they don't."

"Yes, they do."

Marshall cleared his throat. "Bee, I think what Peter is trying to say is that he would like you home with the baby for a few years – isn't that right?"

Peter gave him a grateful look. "That's exactly what I'm trying to say – just until he or she is old enough to go to school then maybe we can talk about-"

Brandi gripped the edge of the table and pulled herself to her feet. "I'm not putting my life on hold for you or this baby or anyone! Do you realize that I'd probably have to go back to school again to get caught up with nursing practices by the time this baby was in school? And what if we have another one, hmm? Why do I have to put my career on hold to raise your kids?"

"Our kids, Brandi!"

"This isn't the fifties! I don't want to be just a housewife – I want to be a nurse and a mother and a wife – can you deal with that?"

"Marriage is about compromise-"

Brandi threw her napkin on the table. "How about this then – why don't you stay home with the baby?"

Peter gasped. "Brandi! That's – that's – absurd!"

She tilted her head. "Why?" She turned to Marshall. "There are househusbands now, right?"

Marshall's mouth twitched again. "Actually, yes. Lots of men stay home and take care of the children while-"

"Marshall, not helping," Peter interrupted and sighed. "Look, I don't want you getting upset. It's not good for the baby. Why don't we go home and try to relax."

Brandi shook her head. "I don't want to go home with you. I'm going to stay here tonight – give us both a chance to think about things."

"Honey," Peter reached out for her but Brandi slipped away down the hall towards the bathroom. He buried his face in his hands. "I didn't – I shouldn't have-"

Marshall leaned forward and laid a hand on Peter's shoulder, as he locked eyes with his son. Liam made a small exiting motion with his hand and Marshall nodded, watching as he left the kitchen without a backward glance.

"Peter, it's going to be all right. Brandi is overly emotional right now, you know that. Give her tonight to get a good night's sleep, some space tomorrow to think about things and she'll come home ready to talk."

Peter lifted pain filled eyes. "You really think so?"

"I do – she's got the Shannon stubbornness, but unlike her sister Mary she can't hold a grudge past twenty-four hours. She blows up but the storm passes quickly – you can thank your lucky stars for that."

"Mary was different?"

Marshall's eyes glazed over as he remembered his long lost love. "Mary felt things deeply but never let people see how deeply it affected her. When she was upset, she bottled those emotions up until one day, they would explode out of her like a pressure cooker letting out steam. I've never known anyone who could hold a grudge like Mary Shannon."

Peter's eyes narrowed. "You still love her."

Marshall's eyes snapped back into focus. "I'll take care of Brandi tonight," he vowed, ignoring Peter's statement. "You go home and think about how the two of you might reach a compromise."

"Am I being unreasonable, Marshall? I'll admit I didn't know how important her nursing was to her."

Marshall grinned. "Well, after tonight's fireworks, there should be no doubt in your mind about what Bee wants."

* * *

Liam found his dad in his office an hour after he heard the front door close behind Uncle Peter. File folders were open on the desktop but he noticed that his dad wasn't really focused on them – he was gazing out the window into the darkness, a slight frown on his face.

"Dad?"

Marshall looked up and smiled. "Will – I thought you'd gone to bed already."

"It's only nine thirty."

He glanced at the clock on his bookcase. "So it is – is your Aunt Brandi asleep?"

Liam nodded. "I just checked on her – she drank the hot cocoa you made her and passed out."

"Whenever Bee couldn't sleep – no matter what the reason – your nana's cocoa always soothed her enough to knock her out. It worked on you too," Marshall smiled.

"You ever going to tell me what the secret ingredient is?"

Marshall grinned. "Maybe when you're a father."

Liam snorted. "So that's a no."

"You don't see yourself as a father?" Marshall cocked his head.

"Dad, I –" Liam cleared his throat and changed the subject. "All that stuff you said to Uncle Peter about Mom- was that true?"

Marshall sighed. "Come sit down." He waited until his son was seated across the desk from him before speaking. "So you were listening."

Liam shrugged. "I wanted to know if you were going to tell Uncle Peter about my seeing her in New York but then you started talking about her and – I need to know – is what you told him true?"

"Will, I've never told you or anyone anything about your Mom that isn't true."

"Except for the fact that you've known all along where she is."

He shook his head. "I haven't known 'all along'-"

Liam snorted.

"No, listen to me, Will. It wasn't until I became a US Marshal that I had the resources to look for your mother and by that time she'd been gone for years. I didn't know if I wanted to open those wounds up again – we'd all moved on. You and I were doing fine on our own and Bee was still in school. She had finally come to terms with Jinx's death and accepted the fact that Mary wasn't coming back. So I decided to just leave it alone."

Liam was quiet as he let his father's words sink in.

"But the older you got, the more questions you asked about her and I told you everything I knew – which wasn't much. I refused to tell you she was dead, because I didn't believe she was. When you turned fifteen and got your driver's permit, I knew that time was growing short and that soon you weren't going to be satisfied with my answers – that I had to give you more. So I raked the system and found her."

"Where was she?" Liam's voice was whisper soft, filled with emotion and Marshall's heart broke for his son.

"Chicago – then Boston – and now finally, Miami. She's never stayed in one place too long, and the kind of job she has with the Marshal Service keeps her on the road ten months out of the year."

"Is she – is she happy?"

Marshall's eyes grew sad. "I don't know – personnel records don't give that kind of information and I haven't contacted her-"

"My God, Dad! Why not?" Liam leapt to his feet. "You said you didn't want to upset our lives, but I can hear the love for her in your voice and you still wear your wedding ring! Fuck!"

"Will-"

"No, Dad. I don't understand – why didn't you go to her – demand answers, beg her to come home?"

"Because she asked me to wait for her!"

The words hung in the air between the Mann men. Marshall's chest was heaving with emotion and he turned away to stare out the window, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Dad?" Liam whispered. "What do you mean, she asked you to wait? What aren't you telling me?"

Marshall swallowed the emotion in his throat as he dug his wallet out of his back pocket, extracting a well worn, faded scrap of paper. "Here – read this."

Liam took the paper with shaking fingers, unfolding it carefully as it was creased and torn from being opened and closed multiple times. He stared in disbelief at the feminine script. "Is this-"

Marshall nodded. "That's your mom's handwriting."

Liam swallowed as the words blurred on the page. He blinked back tears. _"I'm sorry, String Bean. I just need a little time. Keep this safe for me. I know I have no right to ask since I'm the one leaving but – wait for me?"_

He flipped the paper over but that's all his mom had written. Wait – he went back to one phrase. "Dad – what did she want you to keep safe?"

Marshall's shoulders sagged an inch. "Her wedding band was on top of the note. I found it when I got home from work – along with you, of course."

Liam's anger was rekindled. "She left me alone?"

"No, my dad was there-"

"And he didn't try to stop Mom from leaving?"

Marshall turned then, his eyes red from crying. "Oh no, Dad didn't stop her. Where do you think Mary got the money to finance her getaway?"

Liam's mouth fell open. "You're saying Gramps-"

"I don't know what else to think. We were living hand to mouth, paycheck to paycheck, barely making ends meet. Someone had to give her the money."

"Did you ask him?"

"Yes – he didn't deny it."

"Why would he do that?"

"You'll have to ask him."

"Is this why the two of you haven't spoken for as long as I can remember?"

Marshall nodded. "Look, I know I haven't been a saint, either. I should have come to you as soon as I found out where your mother was living and taken you to her. I shouldn't have kept the information from you – I guess what it boils down to is I was protecting myself as much as I was claiming to protect you. I hope you can forgive me, Will."

Liam stared at his father for a long moment before he shook his head, his mouth quirking into a smile. "I'm still pissed at you, Dad, but I know your heart was in the right place. It'll take me a little bit, but yeah, I'll forgive you."

Marshall crossed the distance between them and grabbed his son in a bear hug. "I love you, William – never doubt that."

"I don't, Dad. Love you too."

* * *

Mary's eyes flew open and she lay in the darkness, wondering what it was that had disturbed her sleep. Her fiancé lay snoring next to her and she snorted as she turned over and listened to the roar of the Atlantic Ocean in the distance. She was just beginning to drift off when her eyes snapped open.

Eyes.

She'd had the dream again. About the boy in the pancake house that had her eyes. It was uncanny how that boy had haunted her dreams for the past few weeks; it was almost as if she knew him from somewhere. But that was impossible. She had a great memory for faces and she knew that she hadn't encountered this young man on any of her jobs lately. It just had unnerved her because of the way he had stared at her as if he knew who she was – which was even more ridiculous. Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to run the boy's face through the database. Maybe he was a relative of one of the fugitives she had captured or-

"Querida? Something wrong?"

She sighed and rolled back over to see Raph's eyes open and sleepily looking at her in concern. Mary pushed a lock of his hair back and he turned his head to press a kiss to her palm.

"Nothing's wrong, Raph. Go back to sleep."

* * *

**A/N: Whew! Lots going on in this chapter - what the hell did Seth do? And Mary's with Raph? (evil giggle) Reviews are LOVE - and make me write more!**


	3. When Marshall met Mary

**A/N: So yes, my dear readers, this universe is quite A/U - Jinx is dead and Brandi was raised by the Manns. All will be explained in due time. As for Mary being with Raph - that will be explained too - just hang on.**

**Ready to see how M&amp;M met? Read on! XOXO (Flashbacks will be in italics)**

* * *

Marshall was sliding the last of the eggs onto the plate when he heard his son shuffling into the kitchen behind him. "Right on time – you want to grab the juice?"

"Sure – Aunt Brandi's still asleep. Do you want me to wake her?"

He shook his head. "No, she needs the rest. I'm sure the smell of breakfast will wake her soon enough."

Liam sat down at the table and poured juice for him and his Dad. "Isn't she still working?"

Marshall nodded. "But she's just doing lunch breaks – and only for the rest of the week. Her maternity leave starts on Monday."

"She and Uncle Peter really got into it last night."

Marshall grinned. "That was nothing compared to the fights your mom and I used to have when she was pregnant with you."

Liam's eyebrows rose as he took a huge bite of his eggs. "Really?"

"Yeah – your mom was – let's just say your aunt is a much calmer version of her, OK? And where do you think you got your mouth from?"

"Damn." Liam shook his head. "So what did the two of you argue about?"

Marshall sighed. "Actually, the fights weren't all that different – she didn't want to put her life on hold-"

"And you were asking her to?"

Marshall held up his right hand defensively. "Hey, I didn't ASK your mom to do anything she didn't want to do – not when she was that hormonal and sleep deprived." He chuckled at the memories. "I had no problem with Mary doing whatever she wanted to do – but we were both so young and someone needed to stay with you – our situation was very different from your aunt and uncle's."

"But you guys wanted me, right?"

Marshall set down his fork and leveled his blue eyes at his son. "I need you to hear this, Will. You were a surprise – but we were happy when we found out we were going to have a baby. You were always wanted, OK?"

Liam played with a blob of scrambled egg on his plate. "And yet she left when I was barely six weeks old."

Marshall winced and shut his eyes against the pain he heard in his son's voice. "I know – after you were born, Mary was depressed. I didn't understand it at the time but looking back I think she had postpartum – have you ever heard of that?"

Liam shook his head.

"A lot of women get it after childbirth and your mom wasn't sleeping or eating well, and didn't feel like she was bonding with you. I couldn't seem to get through to her – we were going through a rough patch and then-" he cleared his throat. "She left."

Liam pushed his plate away. "I'm sorry, Dad."

Marshall's head shot up. "For what?"

"I've been so angry at you for keeping her whereabouts from me that I've forgotten that she left you as well as me – she abandoned both of us. I don't get it – why aren't you furious with her?"

"Who says I'm not?"

Liam's mouth fell open. "But – when you talk about her, all I hear in your voice and see in your face is pain and loss and – and love, Dad. Where's the anger?"

Marshall picked up his son's empty plate and headed for the sink. "I'm saving it for her, Will. That's a conversation for the two of us – not you and me."

Liam groaned. "Aw, come on-"

His words were cut off by a scream from the guest room and Marshall ran from the kitchen, his son on his heels. He threw open the door to see Brandi sitting up in bed, her hands clutching her swollen belly.

Marshall ran to her side. "What's wrong, Bee?"

"My water broke," she said shakily, removing one hand from her belly and reaching for him. "It's too soon – do something – help me-"

He swept her up into his arms, paying no attention to the fluid soaking the front of his clothing. "Will, call your Uncle and tell him to meet us at the hospital."

Brandi groaned as a contraction seized her and her fists tightened around his neck. Marshall made soothing sounds in her ear as he reminded her to breathe as he headed for the front door.

Liam stood transfixed in the hallway, like a deer caught in headlights.

"WILLIAM!"

His dad's bark brought him out of his trance. "On it – I'll be right behind you."

Marshall shook his head as he managed to pry one of his hands free from Brandi's grip to scoop up the keys to his truck. "No, go to school – there's nothing you can do at the hospital."

Liam's mouth hung open as the front door slammed. _Like hell I'm going to school today!_

* * *

"Does it always take this long?"

Marshall chuckled as he sipped his coffee. "Now you know why I told you to go to school."

Liam rolled his eyes. "It's been hours!"

"We've been here for forty-five minutes, Will. Babies take their own sweet time, trust me. Just because your Aunt's water broke, doesn't mean things will happen fast. She still has to dilate to ten centimeters which is big enough to-"

"Dad, gross! I don't want to know all that stuff!" Liam glared at his Dad as he clapped his hands over his ears. "How do you know all that stuff?"

Marshall shrugged. "I read lots of books when your mom was pregnant with you – I wanted to be prepared."

"Were you in there with her?"

"Yup – second greatest day of my life."

"What was the first?"

"Marrying your mom."

Liam was quiet for a few minutes before he whispered, "The baby's going to be OK, right? I mean, I know it's early – but it's not too early, is it?"

Marshall sighed. "I'm not a doctor, Will, or God, but Bee is at thirty-five weeks and is young and healthy. The baby should be OK – but we'll just have to wait and see."

"I wish I'd brought something to do – I'm going crazy just sitting here. How do you wait so well, Dad?"

Marshall smiled. "There's a lot of waiting in my job – you learn how to sit still and be patient."

Liam fidgeted. "I don't think I inherited the patience gene from you."

Marshall laughed. "No – you're like your mother – you want things to happen yesterday."

"Is that so bad?"

"No – but it's not the way the world works, Son."

"Tell me again how you and Mom first met."

Marshall set down his coffee cup and looked at Will in surprise. "You haven't wanted to hear that story since you were ten years old."

Liam shrugged. "So pretend I'm ten."

Marshall cocked his head to the side and waited.

"OK, I'm bored and it will pass the time."

Still Marshall waited.

Liam threw up his hands in defeat. "Fine! I'm going to be meeting her in a few months and I want to hear everything again from your point of view before I do – there, happy?"

Marshall frowned. "Why, so you can corroborate our stories?"

"No, Dad. I believe you – but you've given me more information about how and why she left and now I'd like to hear the stories again – please?"

He cleared his throat. "All right. As I'm sure you remember me telling you, we moved around quite a bit when I was growing up because of my father's job – the longest we stayed anywhere was the state of Texas. After my junior year in high school, he surprised all of us by saying we were moving to the East Coast. My mom was furious – all of her family was in the West, and she had no desire to move that far away. But like the rest of us, she had no say. So in the summer of '94, we packed up and headed for the Big Apple and stayed several weeks with my father's sister, Aunt Gina, while my folks looked for a place for us to live in between my father's jobs. The summer passed quickly and soon it was mid-August and we were still living with Aunt Gina. My mom was arguing with my father every night, saying we needed to find our own home and get settled before school started. So they started looking farther outside the city – and that's how we came to find a house in Middletown, New Jersey. Aunt Gina helped us move in and to celebrate our first night in a new house and so the women didn't have to cook, my father took us all out to eat at a fifties' diner called Jersey Joe's."

"And that's where you met Mom."

Marshall cocked an eyebrow. "Do you want to tell the story?"

Liam grinned. "No – go on."

* * *

_**Jersey Joe's**_

_**August 1994**_

"_We've been sitting here for over fifteen minutes and no one's even come over to take our drink order," Seth Mann huffed into his menu._

"_Well, Dad, maybe it's because they did things at a slower pace in the 'fifties," Marshall grinned._

_Seth raised his finger and pointed it in his eldest son's face. "You watch your mouth, boy."_

"_Oh, Seth, really," Patti Mann sighed. "He was just joking-"_

"_It wasn't funny."_

_Patti rolled her eyes at Marshall, who grinned wider. "Let's drop it, OK? We're all tired from the move and hungry-"_

"_Which could be solved if I could only flag down a damn waitress-"_

"_Seth, language, please."_

_Mitch and Michael, Marshall's twin brothers came running back to the booth, slightly out of breath. _

"_This place is awesome! They have an old fashioned soda fountain-"Mitch exclaimed._

"_And an authentic jukebox that plays any song for only a nickel!" Michael screamed._

"_How do you know it's authentic? Is it really from the 1950's?" Marshall quipped._

"_Marshall, leave your brothers alone," Patti pleaded._

"_But mom, I don't think they're using the word 'authentic' correctly-"_

"_Oh, excuse us, Mr. Encyclopedia!"_

"_That's dictionary – not encyclopedia."_

_The twins shrugged. "What's the diff?"_

_Marshall sighed. "The diff is that a dictionary gives definitions of words while an encyclopedia-"_

"_Blah blah blah-" the twins chanted._

"_Boys, enough!" Seth Mann thundered, slamming an open palm on the table top. "We're in a public restaurant for fuck's sake!"_

"_Seth, language!"_

"_Patti-"_

"_Good afternoon, folks, my name is Shelli and I'll be your waitress today. Can I get you started on some drinks?"_

_Everyone's attention shifted to the perky cheerleader type young woman in front of their table in a poodle skirt and a thousand megawatt smile. _

_Seth grunted. "Where have you been? I was beginning to think if I wanted anything to eat or drink I was going to have to get it myself."_

_Shelli shook her head. "This isn't a self serv place, Gramps. Sorry."_

_Seth's mouth dropped open and Marshall hide a snicker behind his hand. "I beg your pardon?"_

"_That's OK, I'm not offended. Now, can I get y'all some drinks?"_

_Gina and Patti asked for water, while Marshall and the twins ordered shakes._

"_And for you, Gramps?"_

_Seth frowned and slapped his menu on the table. "I want to see your manager."_

_Shelli shook her head. "He isn't in until eight- is there a problem?"_

"_Yes, your attitude."_

"_What's wrong with my attitude?"_

"_Is there a problem here?"_

_Seth stared at the young woman who had just materialized by the table. "Yes – Stella," he read the name from her name plate. "I demand to see the manager."_

"_I'm sorry Ben's not in right now – but I'm the assistant manager, maybe I can help."_

_Seth relaxed slightly. "Yes, I want a new server."_

"_Seth-" Patti whispered, putting a hand on his arm. "Don't make a scene."_

"_I'm sorry, sir, we're rather short-handed this afternoon. Maybe a free drink-"_

"_No, this girl was rude. I demand a new server or my family and I will leave."_

_Stella sighed. "I'll see what I can do." She hooked her arm thru Shelli's and walked away._

_Patti groaned. "Was that really necessary, Seth? So the girl called you 'gramps' – I get called ma'am all the time-"_

_Seth glared at her. "It's not at all the same thing, Patti. Young people need to be put in their place, otherwise they will just-"_

_Marshall knew how the rest of this speech went having been on the receiving end of it many times, so he slipped from the booth, muttering something about needing to use the bathroom. He walked past the doorway to the kitchen and saw Stella chewing out Shelli who looked like she wasn't even listening to a word the assistant manager was saying. Rolling his eyes, he pushed open the door into the bathroom and was instantly blasted by the music from the speakers._

_When he came out, he noticed Stella was talking to a new girl, a blonde, who was shaking her head furiously._

"_You know that I have to stay home and watch my little sister on Sunday afternoons-"_

"_I know, Mary, and I wouldn't have called you if it wasn't an emergency. One of Shelli's tables complained about her-"_

_Mary sighed. "What was it this time?"_

"_I don't know – but I suspended her for a week. She was high."_

_Marshall stepped back into the shadows of the alcove. He remembered Shelli's perkiness and the high color in her cheeks. Was she a long time user? He snapped back to the present when he realized the conversation was still continuing-_

"_-is always high."_

"_I know but this time I actually caught her with the Coke. But you and I both know I can't fire Ben's niece."_

_Mary shook her head. "I'll cover the shift this once but you've got to find another girl – Squish can't stay alone every Sunday."_

"_You're a lifesaver, Mary."_

_Mary grunted. "Yeah, that's me."_

"_Order up!"_

_Marshall came out of the alcove and hurried back to the table, hoping to beat the girl back to his family's table. Suddenly there was a sharp cry and a tray collided with his chest and he was showered in ice cream and sodas and ice cubes as he tumbled to the floor along with a warm body._

"_FUCK! Don't you watch where you're going?"_

_Marshall stared up into the most mesmerizing green eyes he'd ever seen. True, they were snapping fire and looked like they were going to incinerate him on the spot, but he still thought they were-_

"_What's the matter with you – are you mute?"_

_Marshall shook his head as Mary scrambled to her feet, groaning at the sticky mess. "I don't have time to clean this up!"_

"_I'll do it."_

_She stared down at him like he'd grown two heads. "Excuse me?"_

_Marshall got to his feet slowly, managing not to slide on the slick ice cream. "It's my fault – let me help."_

_Mary's eyes narrowed. "I can't let you do that – it's my job."_

"_And you're way behind now because of me."_

"_Well-"_

"_Listen, why don't you go put in another drink order and clean up your work uniform," she looked down at her clothes for the first time and bit back another curse, "and I'll mop this up."_

_She grabbed some rags from behind the counter and threw them in his direction. "You can get a mop from Stella – I mean, our assistant manager in the kitchen."_

_He grinned. "Ok, thanks."_

_She turned to leave but paused and turned back. "Why are you doing this?"_

"_Because I was raised that when you make a mess, you clean it up."_

_Mary snorted. _

_He looked up from wiping. "What?"_

"_Nothing – I've just never heard anyone say that. What's your name, String Bean?"_

"_Marshall – Marshall Mann."_

"_You're new to town, aren't you?"_

_He nodded. "Just moved here – I'll be going to Middletown High North."_

_She smiled. "Well then, I guess I'll be seeing you around."_

"_Hey," he called after her. "I didn't catch your name."_

_She didn't answer as she was already gone back to the kitchen to place a rush drink order and wash off her uniform. Of course, he knew her first name was Mary, but even in a small town such as this, there must be a hundred Marys. It wasn't until he went back to the kitchen to retrieve the mop and bucket that he passed her carrying the new drink tray. _

_He stepped carefully out of her way and she bit back a grin. "Watching your step, I see."_

"_I usually do."_

"_That's good to know. Oh, Stella wants to know if you're looking for a job."_

"_I am."_

"_Stop in and see her after you've cleaned up your mess."_

_He stuck his tongue out at her and she laughed._

"_Thanks-"_

_She cocked her head. "For what?"_

"_For putting in a good word for me, Miss – I'd like to know to whom I'm indebted, though."_

"_Indebted? Who talks like that?" She shook her head. "The name's Mary – Mary Shannon."_

"_Thanks, Mary."_

"_Don't mention it – Stella will work you like a dog, trust me." _

_Marshall watched her walk away and wondered why for the first time in his life it had been so easy to talk to a girl._

* * *

**A/N Aw, sweet and still so very THEM - right? Reviews are LOVE!**


	4. Mother's Day

**A/N: Happy Mother's Day! In honor of the holiday, this chapter is about the babies. Read on and you'll see what I mean. Enjoy!**

* * *

"So you liked her from the beginning?"

Marshall shrugged at his son's question. "I thought she had nice eyes and was easy to talk to – which was new to me. I usually got tongue tied around girls and they only talked to me in the context of being their tutor-"

"I thought you tutored mom in physics?"

Marshall nodded. "I did – and working side by side at JJ's we became fast friends."

"So when did things change?"

"Will, you know the stories-"

"Dad, come on. I'm bored-"

Before he could answer, Rosa burst into the waiting room, a petite whirlwind of bright colors and exclamations of Spanish. "So, my little Bee goes into labor and no one thinks to call me? What is wrong with the two of you?"

"I'm sorry, Rosa, things happened so fast," Marshall was quick to soothe her and soon Rosa was sitting with them in the waiting room chairs, knitting furiously.

"How did you figure it out?" Liam wanted to know.

"I'm not stupid, young man," Rosa glared at him, pointing a needle in his direction. "I got to the house and breakfast was still on the table, dishes in the sink. Then I went into the guest room and saw the bed," she shrugged. "I called your work and your boss told me you had taken Bee to the hospital." She grunted. "Him you call – not me."

"Rosa, I said I was sorry." Marshall leaned over and kissed her cheek. "You know how important my work is-"

"And I'm not important?" Rosa shrieked.

"Dad, stop. You're just digging yourself in deeper," Liam whispered. "Rosa, why don't we go down to the cafeteria and get something to eat; it's almost lunchtime."

"If we can trust your father to page us if the baby comes-"

Marshall rolled his eyes heavenward as his son tugged Rosa out of her chair and out the doors. He closed his eyes, wishing he could be doing something instead of just sitting out here on his hands. From his son's perspective, it looked like he was waiting patiently, but inside he was a wreck – just like the day Will was born. But one of them had had to remain calm and it sure as hell wasn't Mary.

* * *

_**Seventeen Years Ago**_

_**Middletown General Hospital**_

"_Come on, Mary. You're doing great. Just one or two more big pushes and your baby will be here," Dr. Griffin urged._

"_You push!" Mary screamed, collapsing against the pillow. Her hair was soaked with sweat and plastered to her head, and her eyes were huge in her pale face. _

_Marshall wiped her forehead with a cool cloth. "You can do it, Mer. Remember how much you were telling me that you wanted this baby out of you? That's not going to happen if you don't push."_

_She swung her head and glared at him. "I'm fucking tired, Marshall!"_

"_I know," he soothed._

_She grabbed his hand and squeezed as another contraction hit, her body tensing._

"_That's it, Mary, push!" Dr. Griffin encouraged. "I can see the head!"_

_Mary slumped against the pillow. "Is it out yet?"_

"_Not yet – I need you to push harder next time."_

_She shook her head. "I can't – I can't – I'm so tired."_

_Marshall cupped her face. "You can – you're strong-"_

"_I'm not – I can't do this!"_

"_Mary – listen to me!" Marshall put his face close to hers so that she couldn't see anyone else in the room. "I'll help you, tell me how to help you."_

"_This is all your fault!" she screamed in his face, the tears flowing down her cheeks and running over his thumbs._

"_I know," he agreed with her. "Tell me how I can help."_

"_My back hurts – every time a contraction comes – it feels like I'm being ripped in two," she sobbed into his hands._

_Marshall leaned forward and kissed her forehead, as he thought about everything he'd read about labor and delivery. He turned to Dr. Griffin. "Can I get behind her in the bed? Help her push? Is that OK?"_

_Dr. Griffin was silent for a moment before nodding. Marshall let go of Mary's face as he toed off his shoes. "Sit up, love."_

"_Marshall-"_

"_This will work, Mer."_

_She moaned as she slid forward in the bed just enough for Marshall's lean frame to slide in behind her. He pulled her back into him, lacing their fingers together, helping her relax until the next contraction hit._

"_Here it comes," Dr. Griffin warned._

_Mary moaned as her fingers tightened on his and Marshall sat them up, supporting her as they pushed down together._

"_Head and shoulders are out – keep going, Mary – one more –"_

_A cry split the air and the couple collapsed as one in the bed. _

"_It's a boy," Dr. Griffin announced._

_Marshall felt his eyes tear as he looked down to see Mary smiling up at him. She reached up and touched his lips with a trembling finger. "Thank you."_

"_For what?"_

"_I couldn't have done that without you."_

"_I told you – it's you and me, forever."_

_She shivered in his arms and he pushed back some of her sweat soaked hair to kiss her forehead softly. A nurse approached with their baby boy and Mary turned and held out her arms._

"_Here you go, mama."_

_Mary cradled her son and Marshall held them both close to his chest._

"_Do we have a name yet?" Dr. Griffin whispered._

_Mary nodded. "William. William Mann."_

* * *

Marshall had been so lost in his memory of that day that he nearly fell out of his chair when Peter crashed through the waiting room doors. His chest was heaving and his eyes were wild and for a moment Marshall feared the worst-

Until Peter smiled.

"It's a boy!"

Marshall stood and closed the distance to embrace his brother-in-law. "How's Brandi – and the baby?"

"Fine – perfect, actually! She's asking for you."

"I'm on my way – oh, can you do me a favor? Go down to the cafeteria and give the good news to Will and Rosa? She'll kill me if I don't let her know right away about the baby."

Peter laughed. "Sure – I could use a cup of coffee anyway."

* * *

Marshall poked his head inside the room to see Brandi sleeping peacefully, but the baby was in a hospital bassinet by the side of her bed. Moving quietly, he stepped over to the side and scooped up his nephew, smiling when the baby yawned and opened his tiny eyes.

"He's beautiful, isn't he?"

Marshall turned at the sound of Brandi's voice to see her smiling sleepily at him. He nodded. "He's perfect, Bee. And he's not as tiny as I was expecting him to be for being five weeks early."

Brandi blushed. "That's because he's not early."

Marshall frowned. "Come again?"

Brandi fidgeted. "My doctor got my conception date wrong – or something like that. Anyway, my baby boy is right on time and perfectly healthy."

Marshall sighed and kissed his nephew on the forehead. "Thank God."

"Don't you want to know your nephew's name?"

"Of course – what is it?"

"Bring him over here."

Marshall walked over to her bedside and Brandi took her son, holding him up as if she was presenting him for the first time. "Marshall, I'd like you to meet your nephew, Steven Edward Alpert."

His eyes teared as Brandi placed his nephew in his arms. "Oh Bee, are you sure? I mean, I'm honored that you want to name him after me – but how does Peter feel about this?"

"Edward is Peter's middle name."

"I know – so shouldn't it be Edward Steven?"

Brandi shook her head. "No, I like Steven Edward better. I wanted my son to be named after the two men I love more than anyone else in the world. You and your family saved me, Marshall. I shudder when I think about what could have happened to me or where I would have ended up after Mom died. And Peter is the love of my life – no matter how much I want to wring his neck sometimes."

Marshall grinned. "That's just your Shannon blood coming to the surface – trust me, your sister was much worse."

"And yet, you still love her."

Marshall sighed. "She's a hard woman to get over – or forget."

Brandi placed a hand on his shoulder. "What aren't you telling me?"

"It can wait, Bee."

"It's about Mary, isn't it?"

"Not now-"

"Yes, now." Brandi insisted, taking her son back and cradling him in her arms. "What is it?"

"Will saw her when he was in New York City – she didn't recognize him but he knew who she was."

"I thought she lived in Florida."

"She does – but her job takes her all over the country."

Brandi hummed as the baby began to fuss and she rocked him slowly back and forth. "What have you told him?"

"I've told him where she lives – and that I've known for awhile where she lives."

"Shit, Marshall-"

"Bee, language," Marshall admonished softly, nodding at Stevie.

She rolled her eyes. "Is he going to see her?"

He nodded. "When school's out."

"Are you going with him?"

"This isn't about me – this is Will's quest."

"Cut the martyr crap! You have to find out what happened – why she left you and Will, me-" Brandi choked, closing her mouth on the words.

Marshall reached out and touched her cheek. "Do you want to go see her?"

She shrugged out of his touch. "Why? She abandoned me too – an eleven year old sister who needed her."

"You could ask her why, Bee."

Tears fell from Brandi's eyes. "Don't ask the question if you don't want to know the answer, Marshall. What if I don't like what I hear?"

He reached out and flicked a tear away. "You'll never know if you don't ask."

They were startled out of their private moment by a knock on the door.

"Can I come in, Aunt Brandi?"

Marshall watched as Bee stuffed her emotional baggage back inside and pasted a bright smile on her face. She motioned for Will to come closer. "Get in here and meet your cousin."

* * *

"So, what were you and Aunt Brandi talking about? It looked like I was interrupting something serious when I came in."

Marshall concentrated on the road. "Nothing – just boring parent stuff – you know, how long before she'll get to sleep through the night, breastfeeding-"

"Dad."

"What?"

"Don't bull shit me, OK? I know when you're lying or trying to throw me off track and right now you're doing both." Liam took a deep breath. "You were talking about Mom, weren't you?"

"Yes."

"Did you tell her about my seeing Mom in New York City?"

"Yes, but Will – she's known all along where your Mom is." Marshall pulled into their driveway and turned off the truck's engine, but neither of them moved. "She's the reason I looked for Mary in the first place."

"I don't understand – I thought you started looking for me – to give me answers."

Marshall nodded. "I did – I knew eventually you'd need to know but this was right before Brandi's wedding and she came to me crying, begging me to find Mary – Bee needed to know if she was dead or alive before she got married. She wanted her big sister at her wedding."

"Well?" Liam pushed when his father paused. "What happened because I sure as hell don't remember Mom being at Aunt Brandi's wedding?"

"She wasn't. My sources found out she was alive and well in Chicago and I passed the information onto Brandi but in the end she couldn't do it. She decided she'd rather live in ignorance than know the truth of why Mary had abandoned all of us – she still feels that way."

Liam swallowed. "So when you told her about my seeing Mom in New York-"

Marshall nodded. "She's scared and conflicted. She wants to go – she wants to see her, wants to know why, but at the same time she's so happy with Peter and the baby that she doesn't want anything to destroy that."

"Sounds familiar."

"I know I said the same thing to you, Will, but you're leaving for college in the fall, and soon will be making your own way in the world. It would be wrong of me to continue to keep you from her – and maybe it was wrong of me to keep you from her this long. Perhaps I should I have sought her out sooner – but I can't undo what's been done."

"Don't you want to come with me? Don't you want answers?"

Marshall sighed. "My fears are the same as Brandi's – I've been so happy with you these past seventeen years that I don't want to lose that."

"Dad – we won't. Nothing can take that away – but don't you want to know what happened, why she left, if she still loves you?"

He smiled sadly. "That's just it, Will. I don't know if she ever loved me in the first place."

* * *

_**October 1994**_

_**Jersey Joe's Diner**_

"_This doesn't make any sense!" Mary growled as she threw her pencil across the dining room and buried her head in her open textbook._

"_Maybe I can help."_

_She lifted her head to see Marshall leaning against the handle of his mop, a lock of hair flopping in his eye, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. She smirked. "Don't tell me – you're a whiz when it comes to physics."_

"_I don't know if I'd say 'whiz' – but I did get an A+ in the course last year and I'm one of the tutors-"_

_She reached out, grabbed his hand, and tugged him into the booth with her. "Sit down – I'll give you a shot but if you try and cop a feel-"_

_He pulled his hand free and lifted an eyebrow."Excuse me? What kind of tutors have you had?"_

_She smiled. "The kind that has been more interested in me than my grades."_

_Marshall sighed. "If they were truly interested in you, they would be interested in your grades as well."_

"_What planet are you from?"_

_He stuck his tongue out and she laughed. "I'm stuck on this one, String Bean."_

_For the next twenty minutes, he patiently explained the laws of physics while Mary listened and managed to solve three problems on her own with a little assistance. Neither of them noticed when the front door bell jingled and a group of high school kids entered. One of them broke away and came over to lean across the table._

"_Well, isn't this cozy?"_

_Mary and Marshall's heads shot up to see Mark Stuber, quarterback for Middletown High and Mary's current boyfriend sneering at them. Mary tapped her pencil against her paper impatiently and Marshall leaned back against the booth's seat._

"_What's up, Mark? I wasn't expecting you until after practice."_

"_Mary, it's after five – practice ended awhile ago."_

"_Oh sorry – I was just doing some homework until you got here."_

"_Is that what you call it?"_

"_Excuse me?"Mary bristled. "What the fuck's your problem?"_

"_I have a problem with you cozying up to another guy when I'm not around, that's what. I mean, you tell me no, but then I walk in here and find you practically sitting in this beanpole's lap. What's he got that I don't have?"_

_Mary jumped to her feet. "Get out!"_

"_This is a public place – and I'm hungry. I want some burgers – do you think you can manage to tear yourself away from your new boyfriend long enough to serve me and my friends?"_

_Growling, she launched herself across Marshall's lap to attack Mark only to have Marshall hold her back. "He's not worth your job, Mer."_

_His quiet words calmed her and she stilled in his hold. "I'll get you some menus," she spat as she stalked off._

_Mark whistled and turned to Marshall. "I don't know how you did it – but you've managed to tame that tiger."_

_Marshall stepped into Mark's space. "I haven't tamed Mary – and she's not property, Mark. If you want to hang onto your girlfriend, I'd suggest you learn that lesson fast."_

"_I'm not going to take suggestions on love from a bookworm."_

_Mary reappeared with menus, slapping Mark in the chest with one. "Here – take these back to your friends. I'll be over there shortly to take your order."_

_Mark caught her hand. "I'm sorry, babe. You know I just get crazy jealous when other guys look at you."_

_Mary curled her lip. "Yeah well, it just shows me that you don't trust me."_

_He pulled her into his chest. "I trust you – it's them I don't trust."_

_She shook her head. "Marshall's harmless – he's my friend and now my physics tutor – nothing more."_

_Marshall's heart clenched at her words and he turned away to pick up his forgotten mop. He watched the couple out of the corner of his eye; Mary played hard to get but eventually let Mark pull her in for a short make out session. Mark strutted back to his friends and she turned back to the booth to pick up her homework._

"_So, String Bean, I know you hardly have any free time between working here and your tutor jobs – but can you squeeze me in somewhere?"_

_Marshall really didn't have time – especially for a girl that was taken and that he was started to have feelings for. But he also couldn't say no to her when she was standing right in front of him looking up at him with those beautiful green eyes. "Sundays."_

_Her face fell. "I can't – I have to watch my little sister."_

"_We can meet at your apartment – or my house, if you'd rather. She can play with my brothers."_

_Mary frowned. "I don't know – it's the only time you've got free?"_

_He nodded. "I'm afraid so. After dinner, around three, before I come in to work?"_

_She bit her lip, before nodding. "It's a date."_

_He sighed as he turned away, inwardly replying 'I wish.'_

* * *

**A/N: So, I'll be calling Brandi's baby 'Stevie' in the rest of this fic. Sorry to end on such a serious note - but I warned you this was going to be bumpy. Reviews are LOVE!**


	5. I'd come for you

**A/N: Only got 1 review for the last chapter :( I hope you all are still reading and enjoying the story - 'cause I can't stop writing this one! The muses were really talking today. . . .**

* * *

"_**By now you know I'd come for you**_

_**No one but you, yes I'd come for you**_

_**But only if you asked me to."**_

_**-Nickelback**_

* * *

Sleep was elusive that night.

Marshall stared at the ceiling, not daring to move from his bed to turn on any lights for fear that Will would see them and come knocking, demanding answers that he just didn't have.

"_What do you mean you don't know if Mom ever loved you? Why did you guys get married in the first place – was it because she was pregnant with me?"_

"_No, Will, she wasn't pregnant."_

"_Then why?"_

"_I've told you the story – we went to Atlantic City and eloped after graduation."_

_Liam frowned. "Why do I think there's more to that story than you're telling me?"_

_Marshall jerked the keys out of the ignition. "I'm not going to talk about this with you, Will. I'm sorry – this is something that's between your mother and me."_

_Liam rolled his eyes. "If you're not going to talk to me, will you at least talk to her? Fuck, Dad, you're going to get an ulcer keeping all this inside."_

Marshall smiled in the darkness of his bedroom, touched by his son's concern. Will was such a combination of him and Mary. He had Mary's fire and impatience, not to mention her colorful vocabulary – but he also possessed Marshall's ability to read people and treat them with tact and respect. Mary had missed so much by not seeing her son grow up. Why had she stayed away so long? Even if she hadn't loved him, she would have come back for Brandi – she never would have abandoned the little sister she had raised from birth.

* * *

_**December 1994**_

_**Jersey Joe's Diner**_

"_Marshall!"_

_He looked up from wiping the counter to see Stella standing in the kitchen doorway, holding the telephone receiver. "It's for you. Make it fast – I need to lock up."_

_Marshall threw the rag in the dishpan and jogged over to take the phone from her hand. "I thought you'd left already."_

"_No, I have to finish these receipts first- talk to Mary, Marshall. She sounds upset."_

"_It's Mary?" His heartbeat quickened as he placed his ear to the phone. "Mary? Are you there?"_

"_Marshall? I'm sorry to bother you-"_

"_No – it's OK. What's up?"_

"_I – I need –" _

"_What?"_

"_Look, I know it's late and you're closing up but-"_

"_Mary, what do you need? Just tell me."_

"_Can you come over and stay with Squish for half an hour?"_

"_Sure, but why?"_

"_Look, I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important or there was anyone else-"_

_He rolled his eyes. "Gee – thanks. You sure know how to make a guy feel needed-"_

"_I wouldn't be asking if I didn't-"_

"_I'm kidding, Mer. I'm on my way, OK?"_

"_Thanks."_

"_But first you need to tell me where you live."_

"_Oh, right."_

_Marshall scribbled down her address and directions on the back of a used ticket. "I'll be there as quick as I can, OK? Just let me finish cleaning up and clock out." He hung up and turned to see that Stella had been listening to his end of the conversation._

"_Mary needs you?"_

"_Yeah, she needs me to watch Brandi for a little bit – I told her I'd be there as soon as I –"_

"_Go."_

"_Really?"_

_Stella nodded. "Mary never asks anyone for help – the fact that she reached out to you-" she shook her head. "Go – I'll finish cleaning up."_

"_Thanks, boss."_

_It only took eight minutes to drive to Mary's apartment building in his dad's beat up pickup truck. He had barely turned off the engine when one of the ground floor unit doors opened and he saw Mary beckoning to him. Fighting back a smile, he jogged over to her. "Stella let me go as soon as we hung up."_

_She nodded. "I was hoping she would. Look, I have another huge favor to ask – can I borrow your truck?"_

_Marshall frowned. "Mary, what's going on?"_

_She ran a nervous hand through her hair. "We only have one car and it's currently at the bar with my mother who is passed out on the floor so I need to borrow yours to go pick her up, OK?"_

_He stared at her in disbelief. "You're a minor – they won't let you into a bar."_

_She blew out a breath of frustration. "I've been doing it ever since I got my permit – actually, before that – but that's not the point. I know the owners and as long as I just go in and get her and leave again, it's fine. Now, can I take your truck or not?"_

_He dropped the keys into her hand. "Be careful – it's not mine, it's my dad's."_

_She paled. "I'd better take something in case she wakes up and gets sick." She turned and went back inside the apartment and he followed, closing the door behind her._

_He scanned the bare room with the well worn furniture and tried hard not to compare it to the house he lived in – the one full of pictures and knick knacks and comfy furniture. He swallowed hard at the lack of Christmas décor and no tree. Mary came back into the room with a black garbage bag, stopping when she saw the expression on his face._

"_What?" she snapped._

"_Nothing – just, where's your tree?"_

_She snorted. "Trees and presents cost money, String Bean. Mom drinks all the extra cash away. I'll be back as soon as I can. Squish is asleep in the back bedroom. If she wakes up-"_

"_I'll handle it – I've got younger brothers, remember?"_

_Mary nodded and left, closing the door softly behind her. Marshall ran a hand through his hair and turned slowly, continuing to look around the front room with a small kitchen attached. He opened cupboards and swallowed hard at the meager contents. It was the first half of the month; why didn't they have more food? _

"_Mary?"_

_The cupboard door slammed shut as Marshall spun at the sound of Brandi's voice. He moved towards the narrow hallway, moving slowly in case she was just talking in her sleep._

"_Marshall?"_

_She rounded the corner and came into the front room, her bare feet padding on the wooden floor, her eyes huge in her pale face. "What are you doing here – where's Mary?"_

"_Hi, Bee," he soothed, as he dropped to a crouch. "Your sister had to go out for a little bit so she asked me to stay with you."_

_Brandi clutched a teddy bear tighter to her side. "She went to get mom, right?"_

_Marshall nodded. "She'll be back soon though. What are you doing up – bad dream?"_

"_No – I'm hungry."_

_His own stomach flipped over in sympathy as he grinned. He reached out and pulled at a pigtail. "Let's see if I can fix that, OK?"_

_The cupboards were nearly empty and the only thing in the fridge was some expired milk and moldy cheese. But he did manage to find some peanut butter and there were a few graham crackers left. After Brandi finished her snack, her eyes grew heavy. Marshall scooped her up in his arms and carried her down the short hall to her room. Pushing open the door, he was surprised to see two twin beds – the sisters must share this room. Seeing the unmade bed in one corner, he set Brandi down and tucked her in, brushing the hair off her forehead._

"_Story?" she whispered sleepily._

_He smiled as he sat on the floor by the bed. "What story would you like to hear?"_

"_Do you know Cinderella? It's my favorite."_

_Marshall had just gotten to the part where Cinderella arrived at the ball when he heard thumping against the front door. Bee's breathing had evened out awhile ago and so he made sure she was all tucked in before he closed the bedroom door and went to see if Mary needed help getting her mom inside. Just as he reached for the doorknob, the front door flew open, knocking him back a step or two in surprise. Instead of seeing Mary supporting her mother, he saw an older woman with flaming red hair leaning against the doorway, her eyes wide and unfocused as she looked him up and down._

"_Who's this, Sweet Pea? Are you entertaining while your mother's away and your baby sister's asleep down the hall?"_

_Mary ducked under her mother's arm and stomped into the apartment, her face set in an angry mask. "This is Marshall, Mom. I've told you about him, remember?"_

_Jinx's face scrunched up as she murmured, "I thought you were dating Mark – not Mitch."_

_Mary rolled her eyes. "I am dating Mark – this is MarSHALL. He works with me at Jersey Joe's – he's my friend, Mom."_

_Jinx hummed low as she entered the room on unsteady legs, swinging the door shut behind her. "Men and women can't be friends, Sweet Pea. Listen to your mother – I ought to know. Sooner or later, they all want one thing from you – and that's to fuck your -"_

"_MOM!"_

_Marshall felt himself flush to the roots of his hair as he watched the interaction between mother and daughter. He'd never seen someone this drunk before and he was one part horrified, one part fascinated. He'd heard that people lost their inhibitions and didn't have a filter when they were this drunk – would Ms. Shannon remember anything she'd said tomorrow?_

_Mary was still speaking. "I'll thank you not to alienate the only person-"_

_Suddenly someone started banging on the front door. "Jinx! Jinx – baby! Are you in there?"_

_Jinx gave a high pitched squeal as she fell against the door, giggling, before she managed to open it. "Wayne darlin', I thought you'd left!" _

"_Not without one last good-bye, sugar!"_

_Jinx fell into Wayne's arms and the two of them locked lips and limbs. He shut the door before slamming her up against it, their hands clawing at clothes and Jinx's legs wrapping around his hips. Mary made a disgusted noise deep in her throat as Marshall's jaw dropped._

"_Um, Mary?" he whispered. "How am I supposed to get home?"_

_She grimaced as she took his elbow and steered him down the hall without a backwards glance at the couple that was bumping and grinding against the front door. "You'll just have to wait until they finish. You can wait back here in my room – unless, you'd rather watch?"_

_He reared back in shock. "What – no – how could you even-"_

_Mary was biting her lower lip to hold in her laughter as she pushed open the door of the bedroom that she shared with Brandi. The moans were getting louder from the front room as she shut the door behind them. _

_She motioned to her bed. "Have a seat."_

_He shook his head as he dropped to the floor. "Here is fine."_

"_You're such a girl – what do you think is going to happen if we both sit on my bed?"_

_Marshall shook his head. "Doesn't matter – you have a boyfriend and your little sister is asleep right over there-" he nodded his head in Brandi's direction._

_Mary's face softened as she looked at Squish. "Thanks for staying with her – did she wake up?"_

_He nodded. "She was hungry so I made her a snack."_

"_Of what?"_

"_Peanut butter and graham crackers – then I told her 'Cinderella' until she fell back asleep."_

_Mary sighed. "It's her favorite – I remember when I still believed in fairy tales."_

_More thumping and groaning from outside the bedroom made Marshall blush again. "So how long has this been going on?"_

_Mary shrugged. "Mom started bringing guys home a couple of years after – I was ten, I think."_

_He did some calculating in his head. "Bee would have been three-"_

_She nodded. _

"_And have they always-"_

"_Yup."_

"_But who looked after the two of you?"_

"_I looked after Squish – she was a good baby, even if she cried more than I thought was necessary."_

"_Mary, all babies cry. They can't talk, so they cry."_

"_I guess."_

"_So where's your Dad?"_

"_Gone."_

"_Gone as in dead – or as in-"_

"_As in gone, OK? He left when I was seven and Brandi was a newborn. What's with the twenty questions, Marshall?"_

"_I'm just trying to get to know you better, Mary-"_

_She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. "Why? What's the point when you and I both know that the second you walk out that door you won't speak to me again."_

_For the second time that night, Marshall's jaw fell open. "Why would you say that?"_

"_Because it's the truth. You're the first person I've ever let into my house – who's ever seen my mom in one of her states, who's ever seen the real me, and I know you're disgusted. I've been watching your face all night and you know what I've seen? Pity. Everyone used to look at us with pity after my dad left – and I hated it. I didn't want their pity then and I don't want your pity now. So you can just take your pity and-"_

_Marshall got to his knees and without thinking pressed his lips to hers. He didn't know what else to do. The fire in her green eyes was drawing him like a moth to a flame and the fact that she was mistaking pity for genuine affection nearly broke his heart. He was getting lost in the sensation of her soft lips beneath his that when her hand connected with his cheek, he fell back in surprise, staring up at her._

"_What the hell was that?" she hissed._

"_I – I just thought that if I kissed you, you'd see that it's not pity, it's-" he swallowed, his hand cupping his reddening cheek._

"_It's what?" she whispered, a hand ghosting over her lips. "Don't tell me you like me because-"_

"_What if I do?"_

_She shook her head. "No one likes me – not even Mark."_

_Marshall cocked his head. "Then why are you dating him?"_

"_That's none of your business."_

_He reached up and cupped her cheek. "I could make it my business."_

_The bedroom door flew open and bounced against the wall. Wayne stood in the doorway, clad only in a pair of silk boxers, frowning. "This isn't the loo."_

_Mary gritted her teeth. "It's next door."_

"_Oh, right, sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt, kids. Carry on." He laughed and stumbled down the hall._

_Marshall dropped his hand. "I need to get home – my Dad is going to ground me until Christmas as it is. Do you have the keys?"_

_Mary nodded and dug them out of her jeans pocket, and placed them in his palm. "Good night, Marshall. And thanks again for staying with Squish."_

_He stared hard at her for a moment before nodding. "If you need me, all you have to do is call – I'll come."_

_She smiled. "I know."_

_The sound of retching came from the bathroom and Marshall grimaced. "Are you sure you and Bee will be OK? I could stay-"_

"_And let your father kill us tomorrow? No thank you. Go home, Marshall. I've been in worse situations than this."_

_He raised his eyebrows but she shook her head and he nodded, knowing that she wasn't going to share anymore tonight. "Good night, Mer."_

_He was nearly to the hallway before her whisper stopped him._

"_Marshall?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Don't care about me – I'll only end up hurting you."_

"_Too late, Sunshine."_

* * *

Marshall finally felt his eyes grow heavy with sleep as the memory of that night long ago faded. He had never shared that particular one with Will – it contained too many raw graphic images of Jinx, a woman that was long gone, and private moments between him and Mary. He had just summarized the progression of their relationship for his son, saying that their friendship had flowed into romance. But he knew the day would come when Will would want those missing pieces filled in. Marshall just didn't think he could do it without Mary's permission or input.

As sleep claimed his exhausted body, deep in Marshall's mind the question remained: Mother Mary never would have abandoned the sister she had raised from infancy – so why had she never reached out after all these years?

* * *

**A/N: Why hasn't Mary reached out to her little sister? Up next: the long awaited reunion between Liam and Mary. Reviews are LOVE!**


	6. Reunion Pt 1

**A/N: I could tweak this chapter forever - so I need to just post it and leave it alone! Who's ready for Mary to come face to face with her baby boy? Enjoy - and thanks so much for all your love in reviews - the muses are so happy! xoxoxo.**

* * *

**Two Months Later**

**Miami, FL**

"Damn it, Gavin! It's a broken ankle, not a body cast! You've got to let me come back to work – I'm going out of my mind sitting at home, day after day staring at the ocean."

"Most people find the ocean calming."

"I'm not most people."

Gavin smiled. "I realize that, Mary. But until we've resolved these death threats against your life-"

Mary snorted. "Come on! How many does this make this year? I'm the most targeted one in the office!"

"And I have to take each and every threat against a US Marshal seriously. If I didn't and one of these threats took you out, I'd never forgive myself."

"Aw, I didn't know you cared that much, Gavin."

"I'm just trying to save the government paperwork, Inspector."

"That's more like it," Mary laughed. "So, what am I supposed to do in the meantime? Sit on the beach and get a nice tan?"

"I thought you were planning your wedding."

Mary grimaced. "In case you haven't noticed a) it's baseball season and b) I'm not exactly the white wedding type girl."

"So? Squeeze it in at the courthouse between one of Raph's games."

"I'm all for that but Raph and his family have their hearts set on a traditional Catholic wedding – can you see that? Me in a white dress in front of a priest?"

Gavin closed his eyes but then he broke out in a grin. "Nope, sorry. That's not you- you're more the type to run away to Atlantic City and elope."

Mary laughed but then frowned. "Hm."

"What is it?"

"Nothing – just when you said that – nothing." She shrugged. "So you're serious about my being on medical leave for another month? I can't even come in to do computer work?"

"Mary, give us a month to catch Jessie. Take this time to rest your ankle and plan your wedding – maybe even get married."

Mary reached for her crutches. "I still don't think we've got anything to worry about."

Gavin nodded. "Good – keep thinking that. It will keep you out of trouble."

* * *

The phone was ringing when she got home and Mary threw down her crutches and hopped the last few feet to pick up the cordless. "Hello?"

"Querida? Is that you? Why are you out of breath?"

"Hi, Raph. I just got home and rushed to the phone – where are you? Are you on the way home?"

"I'm on the bus – should be home later tonight."

"How long will you be here?"

"We have a five game series against Charlotte – and then it's back on the road. But I was thinking – maybe we should elope."

Mary dropped into the sofa. "What? I think we have a bad connection because I thought I heard you say the word 'elope'."

Raph laughed. "I did – it's just with my crazy schedule and you going back to work soon, I don't see another way our wedding will work. So what do you say?"

A chill ran down Mary's spine and she wondered if she had left a window open somewhere. This is what she wanted, this is the man she wanted, so why was she hesitating now? "I – I don't know. What about your family?"

He sighed. "They will be disappointed, of course, but this is our wedding, it is about us. I love you and I want to start our life together."

Her eyes fluttered shut at the emotion she heard in his voice. Shouldn't she be feeling more – something stronger? She knew she loved Raph – but did she love him enough? He knew what she did and he didn't try to fence her in or change her – that should count for something. And yet, she had the weirdest feeling that she was missing something important. Ever since she had run into that kid in New York City two months ago, she hadn't been able to get him out of her mind. He haunted her dreams and she found herself thinking of him during the daytime hours as well. Who was he? Had she met him somewhere before?

"Mary? Are you there?"

"Sorry, I was – what were you saying?"

"Is something wrong?"

"Of course not – I'm just frustrated because I can't work."

"Mary, you have a broken ankle. You need to slow down."

"I can't – I don't know what to do when I'm not working."

"I'll be home tonight and we'll make plans for our wedding."

"All right."

"I have to go – I love you, Mary."

"Love you too."

* * *

**Albuquerque, NM**

"To the graduate!"

Glasses clinked and well wishes came from everyone's mouth as Marshall smiled like the proud papa he was at his son. Will had graduated with honors earlier that day and now the entire family was out to dinner celebrating his achievement.

Liam turned and clinked glasses with his Dad, leaning in to whisper, "Sorry I couldn't continue the tradition and be valedictorian."

Marshall shook his head. "I couldn't be more proud of you if you had been, Will. I hope you know that."

Liam nodded and then his attention was diverted as Rosa, Peter and Brandi gave him their gifts. He was still playing with the digital camera from Rosa when his aunt and uncle left early, claiming they needed to get home to Stevie.

Marshall chuckled. "It's the first time they've left him home alone. I remember the first time we left you – it's not easy."

Liam groaned. "Please, Dad. No baby stories – not today."

Marshall held up his hand in surrender. "All right – how about another present, then?"

"But – I thought my bike-"

"We all chipped in for this." Marshall pulled a long slim envelope from his breast pocket. "You leave in the morning."

Liam opened the envelope and stared at the flight details, with an open return. "Dad-" he cleared his throat. "Please come with me."

Rosa excused herself, leaving the two of them alone. Marshall shook his head. "I've thought long and hard about this – you need to see her first, Will. If after seeing her and talking with her you both decide you want me to fly out, I will. Deal?"

Liam nodded. "Deal."

* * *

**Miami**

"Are you sure you don't want to invite your sister? We'll need a couple of witnesses."

Mary shook her head. "I haven't talked to Squish since we were both kids – and I don't want to just drop back into her life now. I'm sure the chapels in Atlantic City have people that act as witnesses."

Raph pulled her into a kiss, one that should have left her breathless but instead left her feeling confused. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes – oh wait, I forget my little blue bag on the counter in the bathroom."

"Do you really need it?"

"It has my birth control pills and this itty bitty piece of lingerie that I was going to wear-"

Raph kissed her swiftly as he ran back into the house, leaving a laughing Mary behind him. She fiddled with the engagement ring on her finger until her attention was caught by a compact silver car pulling into the driveway behind hers. She straightened, keeping her weight off her injured foot and squinted in the bright sunlight, waiting for the driver to emerge. When no one got out immediately, her hand reached for her gun, only to find it not there and she swore under her breath.

"Can I help you?" she called.

Finally the driver's door opened and out stepped the young man from New York City, the kid who had haunted her dreams for the past two months. Mary's eyes narrowed and she licked her lips. "Who are you?"

"My name's Li- William Mann."

He paused and she got the feeling that he was waiting for her to say something but she had no idea what that something might be. The name wasn't familiar to her-

"I found it!" Raph announced as he bounced out of the house. "Mary, who's this?"

"I don't know-" she shrugged as she turned back to the young man. "Your name is William Mann?"

Liam nodded. "My father is Marshall Mann-"

Mary's posture relaxed. "Marshall? Oh, I knew a Marshall Mann in high school – I wonder-" she nodded slowly, studying his facial features. "Yes, I see the resemblance. How is your father?"

Liam swallowed. "He's doing all right-"

An uneasy silence stretched between them, broken when Raph whispered. "Mary, we have to get going. We'll miss our flight."

"Oh, right, sorry. Look, maybe we can connect when I get back-"

"Where are you going?" Liam interrupted her.

Raph glared. "That's none of your business-"

"Raph!" Mary hissed at him before turning back to Will. "Atlantic City."

Raph swung his arm around Mary's shoulders. "We're getting married."

"But you can't!" Liam gasped. "What about my dad?"

Mary frowned. "What about your dad?" she repeated slowly.

"He's your husband."

"He's your what?" Raph bellowed. "Mary, who is this kid?"

Liam pointed a finger at Raph's chest. "I'm her son."

* * *

"Mary, how can you believe anything this kid has to say? You don't know him from – a stranger on the street!"

She shook her head. "I – I don't know. I just know I need to hear what he has to say."

"We're going to miss our flight – what about our wedding?"

"If William's telling the truth – I'm already married."

Raph scowled. "Would you really forget a thing like that?"

"Until today, I'd have said no – but there is a year I can't remember-"

He snorted. "And you think in that year you married this Marshall guy and had a kid?" He shook his head. "Mary, do you know how ridiculous that sounds?"

She nodded. "I do – but Raph, he has my eyes-"

Raph moaned and ran his fingers through his hair. "His eyes are green – so what? Lots of people have green eyes, Mary! Mon Dieu, I can't let you do this-"

"Let me? No one lets me do anything – least of all you, Raphael Ramirez! Why don't you go down to the stadium and hit some balls or go drink some brews with your pals while I talk to-"

"Oh no! There's no way in hell I'm leaving you alone with him. He could be a –"

"A what? A killer?" Mary laughed. "I'm a US Marshal trained in apprehending fugitives; I think I can take care of myself against one unarmed teenage boy."

"Mary-"

"Get out, Raph."

"You're mad-"

"Look, I understand that this came out of left field and blindsided you as well as me but you're being a jackass right now and I can't deal with you as well as a kid who thinks he's my son, all right? So the best thing you can do right now is clear out so I can talk to him."

Raph pulled her into a toe-curling kiss and though she didn't fight him, he felt her lack of response. He pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. "Why do I feel like I've already lost you?"

"Go – I'll see you later, OK?"

* * *

Liam didn't look up from the sand he was arranging in piles at the sound of his Mom's approach. It wasn't until he heard her stumble and swear that he remembered her cast and he jumped to his feet, turning around in time to catch her by the waist before she tumbled to the sand.

"Could you have picked a little better location for a heart to heart talk, Kid?"

"I'm sorry – I wasn't thinking-" Liam stuttered.

"It's OK – I'll live – it's just a broken ankle, not a leg," Mary grimaced in pain as she lowered herself to a large log. "Give me a minute to recover, though, please."

"I feel like an ass now."

"Ah, then my plan is working."

"Your plan was to make your son feel like an ass?"

Mary frowned as she looked into his eyes, eyes that were so like her own. She shuddered, knowing that's why they had haunted her all this time. The resemblance to Marshall was strong but some of his facial features were similar to her own as well.

Liam fidgeted. "What?"

"Nothing – just – you really are mine, aren't you?"

He nodded.

"How?"

Liam flushed. "What do you mean, how? Like, how is that possible because you don't know where babies come from or-"

Mary held up a hand. "I know where babies come from, smartass. It's just –" she ran her hands through her hair. "Your father and I never had sex."

Liam's jaw dropped. "What?"

She shrugged. "He was a virgin and yeah, we fooled around – got close a couple of times –"

Liam's face flushed beet red. "Um, can we not talk about you and Dad's sex life? I really don't want to know, OK?"

Mary grinned. "Sorry, Kid. But what I'm trying to tell you is that we never had sex by the time we broke up right after graduation."

Liam stared at her in shock. "That's how you think it ended between the two of you?"

Mary nodded. "So even though you bear a slight resemblance to me, I just don't see how it's possible that you're my son."

Liam shook his head. "Wait, are you saying you don't remember making up with my Dad on the beach? Or eloping to Atlantic City and getting pregnant with me?"

Mary went perfectly still and pale. "We did?"

Liam nodded.

Mary shook her head. "I – I was in an accident – hit and run. I nearly died. I'm OK-" she reassured him when she saw the horrified look on his face. "It happened seventeen years ago. I was in a coma for six months and when I woke up it took me awhile to remember who I was and to get most of my memory back. But there's still about a year that I can't remember."

Realization crossed Liam's face. "And that's the year."

Mary nodded. "All this time I never knew – I figured Brandi was OK, but I never knew I had a family of my own." She reached out for his hand but drew it back before he could touch it. "You must hate me. All these years – growing up without a mother-" she shook her head. "Wait, why did you? Why didn't you know where I was?"

Liam dropped his eyes to the sand. "You left us."

"I would never – do you know why?"

Liam shrugged. "I don't – I think Dad knows more than he's telling but he's always said it was between the two of you-"

Anger flared in Mary's eyes. "Call him."

"What – now?"

"Yes, now."

Liam fished his cell out of his pocket and dialed his dad's number, holding it out of his mom's reach. "Let me talk to him first," he explained, as he stood and walked a little bit away. "Hi Dad – yeah, I'm here – yes, with Mom – well, that's the thing. She doesn't remember marrying you or having me – she was in a car accident and has some memory loss-" he turned and saw his mom signaling him frantically. "She wants to talk to you, Dad."

Mary grabbed the phone. "What the hell, String Bean? You send our son to see me after seventeen years to tell me I'm a mother? Didn't you think I had a right to know?"

There was a pause before Marshall spoke. "From my point of view, Mer, you did know. How was I supposed to know you'd been in an accident and had memory loss?"

"The same way you found out where I was! The accident is part of my file-"

"But the memory loss isn't!"

She blew out a breath. "You're right – I've been careful to leave that part out. But you should have come to me before now. Do you realize I almost committed bigamy today?"

"You're engaged?"

"I was – until I found out I've been married for the past seventeen years-"

"Eighteen."

"Fuck- Marshall, get your ass on a plane. I need you out here to fill in the missing gaps in my memory."

"I'm not at your beckon call, Mary."

"The hell you're not – you told me once that all I had to do was call and you'd come, remember?"

Marshall sighed. "That you remember. I'll be on the next flight. Don't pull another disappearing act before I get there, all right?"

* * *

**A/N: Ouch, yeah - Marshall's still angry, amnesia or not. What happens when our couple comes face to face? Stay tuned . . . Reviews are LOVE!**


	7. Her Hero

**A/N: Hmm, Mary's not the bad guy because she had amnesia? I don't know - she still left, didn't she? Keeping reading, my lovelies - there is more to come. Keep a tissue handy for this chapter - you may need it.**

* * *

Mary stared at the phone in disbelief, staring at the flashing disconnect symbol. "Your father hung up on me. Marshall was always polite to a fault – I can't believe he hung up on me!"

Liam hid his grin behind a hand. "Yeah, Dad's got some unresolved issues-"

She rolled her eyes as she tossed the phone back at him. "You sound just like him – can't you say he's pissed off like everyone else?"

"He's pissed," Liam parroted back.

Mary grinned. "That's better – I can see that being raised by Marshall has had an adverse affect on your vocabulary."

He frowned. "I'll have you know that Dad cracks down on me all the time for my mouth – something he says I get from you."

"Really?" She shifted on the log to get more comfortable, but winced as pain shot up her leg. "Can we move this inside? My ankle is starting to hurt like a-" she bit back the words, which only made Liam grin. "Come on, let's go."

"Actually, I was thinking about heading back to my room at the hotel, getting some food, and hanging out there until my Dad gets in."

"Will – can I call you Will?"

Liam's throat tightened as he nodded.

"Will, Marshall won't be here for hours – probably not until the middle of the night. I'd really like it if you stayed for awhile so we could talk. I'll even feed you."

"You cook?"

"Ah, no-" Mary flushed as she shook her head. "But I do know how to order a mean pizza. So what do you say?"

Liam shrugged. "I guess since I came all this way, I could stay for awhile."

* * *

Marshall tapped on Stan's door before pushing it open and sticking his head inside. "Is this a bad time?"

Stan waved him in. "No, come in. What do you need?"

Marshall stepped inside, letting the door swing shut behind him as he began to pace. "Look Chief, I know this is terrible timing what with Tina's trial coming up but I need to take some time off."

Stan leaned back in his chair. "Oh? Starting when?"

Marshall cleared his throat. "Now."

His boss tapped a pen on his calendar. "Is this about Will?"

Marshall collapsed into the chair. "I'm so stupid! I shouldn't have let him go alone, Stan! What was I thinking?"

"Well, I'm guessing you were thinking about not opening old wounds and getting hurt again but that's just my two cents-"

"Right, so instead I send my only son off to see the woman who abandoned him at six weeks of age having no idea what bull shit she would fill his head with!" Marshall buried his head in his hands.

Stan came around his desk and placed a hand on the younger man's shoulders. "What's happened, Marshall? Did you hear from Will? Is he all right?"

Marshall nodded. "Physically he's fine – but you should have heard the pain in his voice when he told me his mother doesn't remember him."

Stan reared back. "Doesn't remember – how is that possible?"

Marshall lifted his head. "Remember I told you I looked at her personnel file on the system?"

Stan nodded.

"Well, turns out the accident she was in was a much more serious one than what's recorded in her file."

"How so?"

"She nearly died, Stan. My wife nearly died and I had no idea. She was in a coma for six months and when she woke up, she had no idea who she was. Will says she got most of her memory back – except for the part about marrying me and having a baby."

"Dear God," Stan murmured. "How did you find all this out? Did he call and tell you?"

Marshall nodded. "Some of it – but the rest I found out by digging into the hospital records – sorry, Stan, I sort of used my badge to gain access-"

Stan waved his words away. "Don't worry about that now, Inspector. The woman's your wife, for God's sake. You needed to know what happened."

"Anyway, Will called and Mary got on the phone – yelled at me for not finding her sooner and then told me to get on a plane. Not that I owe this woman any favors after eighteen years, but Will needs me-"

Stan laughed. "Who do you think you're fooling, Marshall? I've known you for ten years now. I've never seen you without your wedding ring and though there have been plenty of opportunities, you've never gone on a single date. You get your ass on a plane and fix this mess. I don't want to see your face back in this office until your family issues are resolved, is that understood?"

"But Stan, what about Tina's trial and my other-"

"Delia and Charlie can handle things here."

Marshall sighed. "My partner will be fine but Charlie? He's so green, Chief."

"So were you once. Don't worry, I'll be watching closely, all right? Now get out of here. And tell that wife of yours that if she's looking for a job, I've got one waiting for her."

Marshall started. "I don't – Mary's not coming back with me, Stan. She has her life and I have mine."

Stan shrugged as he picked up his pen and opened another file. "Oh, well, it was just a thought. The offer's open so pass it along, all right."

Marshall frowned but nodded as he backed out the door. _Mary would never move to Albuquerque – why would she? Will is going to Harvard in September and there's nothing for her here._

* * *

"I'm glad I ordered a large stuffed pie," Mary smiled as she watched her son polish off the last piece.

"I'm sorry – did you want this?" Liam muttered around a mouthful.

She laughed out loud as she threw a wadded up napkin his way. "No Kid, five pieces is my limit- I'm stuffed. I won't mention how many you ate."

Liam nodded. "At home, Dad and I usually order two pies-"

"And you each eat one?" Mary guessed.

"No – usually one and a half; the rest is for breakfast."

"I'm guessing you grew up on a lot of take out."

Liam shook his head as he swallowed the last bite. "No. Dad is a great cook and then there's Rosa-"

"Wait – who's Rosa? Don't tell me your Dad has a girlfriend-"

"Whoa! Mary, no! Relax, ok? Rosa is our housekeeper-"

"Oh."

"She stayed with me when I was little and Dad had to go out of town for work. She's the best – kind of like a second mom."

Mary bit down the jealousy she felt rising inside of her. It was ridiculous – this morning she didn't even know she had a son and now here she was jealous of a woman who had helped raise her son. What right did she have to feel threatened? After all, she was the one who walked away.

"So, what does your dad do?"

"He's a US Marshal."

"Wait, what? So he's Marshal Marshall Mann?"

Liam grinned. "Yeah, he gets a lot of grief for that, especially from women – but he loves his job."

"Did he follow in his father's footsteps and go into the Fugitive Task Force?"

"You mean like you?"

Mary's mouth fell open. "How did you –" She punched his shoulder. "You know too much, Kid."

"No, Dad works in WitSec."

"Witness Protection? How do you know that? The inspectors aren't allowed to tell anyone what they do for security reasons – not even their families."

"I figured it out a couple of years ago and when I asked him, he didn't deny it; just told me not to tell anyone – that he trusted me to keep this between the two of us."

"It sounds like the two of you are close."

Liam nodded. "He's my best friend."

Mary fiddled with the neck of her root beer bottle. "What did he tell you about me?"

Liam's eyes dropped to the floor. "For a long time, I thought you were dead. Dad has pictures of you everywhere and whenever I asked about you, he was always quick to tell me stories about the two of you: how you met and got together, fell in love. But it was always in the past tense and he was so sad so I guess I just thought you were dead."

Mary was silent for a few moments, and when Liam looked up he was surprised to see tears in her eyes. "When did you find out I wasn't?"

He shrugged. "I asked. That's how it goes with me and Dad. I ask and he answers. One day when I was about ten I asked him when you died and he looked at me all shocked and said, 'Oh Will, your mom isn't dead.' And I said, 'Then where is she?' And he said, 'I don't know.'"

"Wait –" Mary held up a hand. "He didn't know? Wasn't he a US Marshal by this time?"

Liam nodded.

"Then he could have raked the system and found me quite easily – why didn't he?"

He squirmed on the sofa. "I don't know – that's something you'll have to ask him, Mary."

She started at the sound of her first name coming from her son's mouth but really, what else did she expect him to call her? They were practically strangers – a few hours acquaintance couldn't erase a lifetime of abandonment.

"Surely you must have pushed him – asked him why he didn't know?"

"I did and I have – but those conversations are between me and my Dad. Look, he thought he was doing what was best for me at the time and I respect him for that, OK?"

"But-"

"Hey - the important thing is that my dad has never said one bad thing about you even though you were the one who walked out on us when I was six weeks old. He has been waiting for you to come home for the past eighteen years-"

"Well, I didn't ask him to!" Mary snapped.

Liam got to his feet, brushing the crumbs from his T-shirt. "Actually you did."

"What the hell does that mean?"

He shook his head. "Nothing – I shouldn't have said that. You need to wait and talk to my dad. I need to go-"

"Well, isn't this cozy!"

The front door banged against the wall as Raph strolled inside. Liam reached for his car keys, not wanting to be a part of the scene that was about to happen.

"Bye, Mary."

"Will, wait!"

He dashed out the still open door and Raph whistled. "Ouch, Querida! The kid didn't even call you mom! Are you sure you want to claim him? He isn't very respectful."

Mary ignored him and began to gather up the trash from their pizza dinner. Raph walked over and picked up a nearly empty root beer bottle, tipping the contents up to his mouth.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

"Just checking – I wanted to make sure you weren't serving alcohol to minors."

"Get out, Raph. You're drunk. Go sleep it off at one of your buddies' houses and we'll talk tomorrow."

He reached out and grabbed a wrist, pulling her into him, ignoring the whimper of pain that escaped as her weight came down on her broken ankle. "I don't want sleep, Mer. I want you."

She pushed him away, collapsing on the couch, panting in pain. "Get – out!" she huffed. "Before I – call –"

He fell on top of her, pinning her hands over her head. "You want it – you know you do." He ground his hips into hers.

She twisted her face to the side. "No! I don't! Not now – I'm a married woman, Raph – I will not knowingly cheat on my husband!"

The word 'husband' penetrated the drunken haze and Raph pulled back enough to look in her eyes. "Are you ss-erious?"

"Get – off."

"Mary, I'm not the first guy you've had sex with in eighteen years-"

Her eyes fluttered shut. "I know."

"So, come on. Let's have some fun-" he leaned down and sucked on her neck. He felt her go limp beneath him and a thrill shot through his veins. "I knew you wanted it."

Mary wrapped her legs around his hips and waited for his grip to loosen on her wrists, willing her body not to tense. Finally, when he began to rain kisses down her chest, her chance came and wrapping her hands around his neck, she moved quickly, spinning them on the couch so that he was underneath.

Raph grinned up at her. "If you wanted to be on top, all you had to do was-"

She kneed him in the privates and listened to his cry of pain. "Do I have your attention?"

His face was contorted in agony but he still managed a slight nod.

"Good. We are not going to have sex – not tonight and not while I'm a married woman, understood?"

He nodded and Mary got to her feet slowly, limping as she kept the weight off her injury. "I'll get you some ice for your-" she gestured to his privates and limped off.

When she came back with a bag of ice, Raph was curled up on his side in the fetal position and Mary barely managed to keep the smile off her face. "Here."

"Thanks," he muttered as he took the ice and pressed it to his lap. "Can I ask you something?"

"I suppose."

"How do you even know you're married? How do you know this Marshall guy is telling the truth?"

"Why would a guy I haven't seen in eighteen years lie about something like that?"

"Maybe he needs a wife for something-"

Mary shook her head. "Marshall Mann doesn't lie – not to me." She picked up the empty pizza box. "I'm going to take a shower – alone."

He grunted. "I'm not going anywhere for a long time, don't worry."

She smiled. "Good night."

"Mary?"

"Hmm?"

"This Marshall sounds like an honorable guy-"

"He is. What's your point, Raph?"

"Well, what's he going to think when he hears about all the whoring around you've been doing?"

She started in pain at the word 'whoring' but did her best to cover as she shrugged. "It doesn't matter – one, I didn't know I was married and two, it's not like I'm going to stay married. We were just kids, Raph."

"Right, sorry. But there is your son-"

Mary paled. "Will-"

"Yeah, Will. What's he going to think of his mom sleeping around?"

"I – night, Raph."

"Good night, Mary."

She refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry. Her resolve held until she was in the shower with the water running and it was hard to tell the difference between the water droplets and her own tears. Mary slid to the tiled floor, the sobs raking her slender frame.

* * *

_**December 1994**_

_**Marshall's house**_

_Mary walked up to the Mann's front door and rang the doorbell, stepping back as she waited for an answer. Marshall had missed school for the past two days and hadn't been at work - she was worried. He had promised her Sunday night in her bedroom that nothing would change between them now that he had seen the real her – but maybe he had changed his mind. She'd never had a real friend before and part of her was terrified that she had lost the only one who had taken the time to get to know her and hadn't run screaming from the room. She'd spent the last two days without him and she missed him more than she would ever admit out loud. Was this friendship? Was it more?_

_The door swung open and Marshall's mom stood in the doorway with a frown on her face. "Mary? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?"_

_Mary swallowed. "I – I told Stella I'd be a little late today. Marshall hasn't been at school this week and I thought I'd bring him his homework assignments."_

_Patti Mann smiled. "That was very thoughtful of you, dear. I was going to pick them up tomorrow but you beat me to it." She held out her hand but Mary hesitated._

"_Is Marshall OK? Is he sick?"_

"_No, the doctor just wanted him to rest-" Patti stopped talking and frowned again._

_Mary's stomach flipped over. "Can I see him? Please, just a couple of minutes?"_

_Patti studied the girl. "All right. He's in his room – keep the door open, OK?"_

_Mary nodded as she slipped off her heavy winter coat, handing it off to Patti as she climbed the staircase two steps at a time. Marshall's door was cracked and she knocked as she pushed it open. "Marshall?"_

"_Mary?" He turned at the sound of her voice, the smile breaking out across his face._

_She gasped as she saw the deep purple bruise across his left cheekbone and flew to land beside him on the bed, reaching out to touch it with trembling fingers. "What happened?"_

"_Clumsy me, I ran into-"_

"_Someone's fist?" she finished his sentence with a heavy dose of sarcasm._

"_I'm fine," he sighed._

_She noticed how he was hiding his right hand under his bedspread and she yanked at his arm. "Show me."_

"_Mary-"_

"_Show – me."_

_With a heavy sigh, he pulled his right hand from beneath the spread and she gasped as the swollen digits came into view. "Marshall Mann, tell me what the fuck happened! Right now!"_

"_Mary, language! My mother is probably listening right outside that door-"_

"_Sorry-" she raised her voice a little. "Sorry, Mrs. Mann!"_

_They heard a soft snicker and then footsteps going away down the hall._

"_Tell me what happened!" she insisted, capturing his uninjured hand in hers. "Or do I have to tickle torture it out of you?"_

_His eyes widened. "Anything but that!" He sobered. "Have you seen Mark at school?"_

"_Sure, but-" her mouth fell open. "Don't tell me you gave him that black eye?"_

_He held up his swollen hand. "Guilty."_

"_But why? It's not like you to fight."_

"_Not unless I have a very good reason."_

_Mary swallowed. "Are you saying you were fighting over me?"_

_He shook his head. "No, I was fighting for you."_

"_I don't understand – will you please just tell me what happened?"_

"_Mark was waiting for me when I left your apartment Sunday night – does he do that a lot? Sit outside your house?"_

_She shrugged. "Sometimes."_

_He grunted. "Anyway, he hit me as soon as I got to my truck. I tried to dodge him but didn't quite make it-" he raised his swollen hand to his cheek. "Anyway, he started in with what the hell was I doing there so late – was I fucking his girl – did I know how many guys you'd been with-" his voice broke and he hung his head only to have Mary nudge it with hers in comfort._

"_What happened then?"_

"_What do you think? I hit him! I wasn't going to let him call the girl I love a whore."_

_Mary's heart was beating like a trip hammer. "You love me?"_

"_Oh – don't freak out on me, OK? I know you're dating Mark and you're probably mad I hit him but he did hit me first and-"_

_Her lips on his silenced his flow of words and it was sweeter and gentler than their first kiss on Sunday night. The phone ringing downstairs brought them back to reality and Mary broke away from his lips, pressing a soft kiss to his bruised cheekbone. "My hero," she whispered._

"_Mary!" Patti Mann called up the stairs. "That was Stella – she says she needs you at work right now."_

"_Shit! I have to go!" Mary scrambled to her feet, giving Marshall another quick peck on the lips. "I'll call you later?"_

"_OK." He grabbed her hand. "Mary, what is this? Are we-?"_

_She laughed and kissed him again. "I don't know – but you should know that Mark broke up with me on Monday."_

"_So you're on the rebound."_

"_I'm not on the rebound from anything – I was going to break up with him – he just beat me to the punch – oh, sorry," she giggled._

"_Why were you going to break up with him?"_

"_Can't you guess?"_

_He pulled her back to him, running his good hand through her ponytail. "I could – but I'd like to hear you say it."_

"_Because I couldn't get a kiss from a certain blue eyed brown haired guy out of my mind."_

"_Good answer."_

"_Marshall," she sobered, locking eyes with him. "Mark was right about some things. I'm not a virgin. Though I don't spread my legs for every guy, I have had sex with-"_

_He shook his head and kissed her. "I don't care. I only care about what you do when we're going out. As long as you don't cheat on me, we're good."_

"_I've never cheated when I've been in a relationship – I'm not that kind of girl!"_

"_I know." He sighed. "You better go before Stella fires you."_

"_OK – call you later?"_

"_I'll be here – I love you, Mer."_

_Her fingers curled around the doorframe as she smiled back at him, her battered and bruised hero. "I know."_

* * *

**A/N: Yay for Papa Stan! And past M&amp;M are so cute - don't you think? Hmm, I wonder what will happen when they finally come face to face? Reviews are LOVE!**


	8. End of the Beginning

**A/N: So I know this fic is completely different from anything else I've written for the IPS fandom - and that's why M&amp;M in the present time are coming across as a bit OOC. All I can say is, I'm really excited about this fic and I hope that the few of you that are taking the time to read and review stick with me because I believe it will be worth it in the end!**

**Now, who's missed Marshall and Will's interactions the past couple of chapters? Papa Mann arrives in Miami - hmm, things are about to get VERY interesting. . . .**

* * *

They called it the redeye for a reason.

Marshall's eyes felt gritty and he didn't need to look in a mirror to know that they were bloodshot. He hadn't slept a wink on the flight, his mind too busy with memories and his heart too heavy with guilt for not coming with his son in the first place. He wouldn't win father of the year this time – an award that Will had made for him every year since he was four and given to Marshall on his birthday.

As he parked the rental in front of the hotel, he noticed someone swimming in the outdoor pool, but it wasn't until he got out of the car that he saw it was Will. Locking the car, he headed for the fenced in structure and stood in silence on the other side watching as his son did laps. This was something Will had done ever since he was twelve or thirteen to calm down. The first time he and Will had fought about Mary and why he didn't know where she was, Will had gone out to their pool and swam laps until he collapsed. Marshall had had to rescue him, carry him back inside, as his son cried like a baby in his arms. Watching as his son cut through the water, he knew how much he was hurting – and Marshall would give anything to take it away.

When Will finally sat down on the steps, he spoke softly through the fence. "Couldn't sleep either, huh?"

Liam whirled at the sound of his voice. "Dad! You're here!"

Marshall nodded and knocked at the gate. "Care to let me in – or are you mad at me too?"

The words hadn't even left his lips before Liam was opening the gate and throwing himself into his Dad's arms. "You came – I'm just so glad you came."

Marshall hugged his son tight, swallowing the emotion in his throat. "I'll always come for you, Will – don't ever doubt that."

"She doesn't even know me-" he whispered into his dad's neck. "I – I came all this way and she doesn't -" he choked on the words.

"Hush-" Marshall soothed his son as if he was eight instead of eighteen. "I'm here now and we'll deal with this together, all right?"

Liam nodded as he cleared his throat and stepped back, running an awkward hand through his wet hair. "Um, sorry about your clothes."

Marshall grinned. "I have more. Let's sit down-" he motioned to the loungers by the pool and sat down across from his son. "Tell me everything that happened once you got to your mom's place."

He listened without commenting as Will told him about Raph and Atlantic City, her broken ankle, and the fact that she didn't remember marrying Marshall or having a son.

Marshall frowned. "What's the last thing she remembers – did she tell you?"

Liam shook his head. "All she said was that you two broke up after graduation before you – you know," he blushed furiously.

Marshall nodded. "I get the picture – but we never broke up after graduation. Sure, she ran off but I caught up with her at our spot and-" his voice tapered off. "She doesn't remember that, does she?"

Liam shrugged. "I don't know, I don't think so. When I mentioned you guys making up on the beach, she had this blank look on her face-"

Marshall winced.

"I'm sorry, Dad."

"It's OK – amnesia or not, it doesn't change the fact that she left you."

"Us, Dad – she left us. But now that you're here, you are going to see her – talk to her?"

"If you think it will help-"

"Dad, you have to talk to her! She wants to see you – and if you don't, she'll marry that other guy."

"Will, listen to me. Regardless of whether or not I see her, your mom and I are not getting back together, OK?"

"How do you know?"

"Because it's been eighteen years! We were kids then and now we've grown into two completely different people with separate lives. I'm not going to let you believe that something magical is going to happen when I go see her, OK? We're not going to fall into each other's arms, kiss and POOF! Her memory comes back and we're one big happy family. That's not how this works."

"But you still love her-"

"Did you tell her that?" Marshall demanded, his blue eyes piercing into his son's.

"I –I may have hinted-"

"Shit, Will! That is the one thing-" He paused to take a deep breath. "Please, don't say anything else like that to her, all right? My love is based on the memory of a girl I knew back then – not the woman she is now. All I want is for the two of you to connect and have a relationship, if that is what you want. Is it?"

Liam took a deep breath. "I think so – I mean, when I was talking with her this afternoon, it was nice. I like her, Dad."

Marshall reached out and patted his knee. "Good. Then that's settled."

"But she wants answers from you about what happened – can you do that?"

Marshall took a slow, deep breath before nodding. "If Mary wants to know the truth, I can give her that – as much of it as I know."

* * *

Mary rolled over and fell on the floor. "Fuck!" she swore, as she rubbed her hip and tried to ignore the pain shooting up her leg from her ankle. She had forgotten she was trying to sleep on the couch since the bed had been invaded by a snoring drunk Hispanic man. When she had emerged from her shower earlier in the evening, all warm and relaxed and ready for bed, what had she seen in her bed? Raph, naked as the day he was born except for one strategically placed ice bag, sprawled diagonally across the spread, passed out.

"No sex includes sharing a bed with you, Ramirez!" she screamed at the unconscious form as she grabbed a pillow and blanket and limped to the living room.

Now here she was hours later, still trying to fall asleep. But every time her eyes closed, she kept seeing Will's face just before he ran out the door. They had been having such a nice time before Raph had come barging in- would Will come back? Or would Marshall call and say she had blown her one and only chance to know her son?

Marshall – her husband. She shook her head, trying to wrap her head around the idea. She remembered the kisses they had shared and how safe and protected and cherished he had made her feel – something none of her other boyfriends had done. He had never pressured her for sex, which was something the others had wanted from the very beginning. Marshall had been into romance and doing little things for her – and he had never complained when she had had to bring Brandi along on their dates. In fact, he always found a way to include her in whatever they did and Mary knew that her little sister had had a crush on her boyfriend because of it. He told Mary he loved her in a million different ways and never seemed to be bothered by the fact that she didn't say the words back to him. She wanted to – it was just that everyone she loved, she either hurt or lost. She remembered when he got his full scholarship to Harvard and though she was happy for him, she knew it was the beginning of the end. Because she couldn't go with him and she would never ask him to stay behind just for her.

* * *

_**Middletown High**_

_**June 1995**_

"_Mary, sweet pea! There you are!"_

_Mary gritted her teeth and pasted a smile on her face as she turned on the lawn just in time to be surrounded in a heavily perfumed hug. _

"_I'm SO proud of you! I bet you thought this day would never come!" Jinx cooed. _

_Mary cocked her head. "What does that mean – didn't you think I'd graduate high school?"_

"_Of course I did, baby. I just meant you had senioritis so bad that it seemed like it would never get here!"_

_Mary relaxed. "Oh, well, thanks. I am glad to be done with high school."_

"_I bet you are, little darlin'," Earl boomed as he swung an arm around Jinx's waist. "Ginger, when can we get out of here? I'm parched – and there's no food around here."_

_Mary ignored her mother's latest conquest. "Where's Brandi?"_

"_I don't know – she was right by me a minute ago," Jinx waved a hand vaguely. "Maybe she's with your boyfriend. I swear that child has the biggest crush on your man. I'd be careful, Sweet Pea, or she'll steal him right out from under you."_

"_Mother! She's twelve years old!"_

_Jinx batted her eyelashes at Earl. "So?"_

_Fighting nausea, Mary muttered. "I'm going to go look for her. You – do what you want. See you later."_

_She moved away through the crowds, dodging families taking pictures and fellow classmates posing with friends. _

"_MARY!"_

_She turned in a circle at the sound of her name, but didn't see anyone waving at her. Suddenly she was attacked by a pair of arms around her waist and she smiled down into her baby sister's face._

"_There you are – I was looking for you."_

"_I was with Marshall. I told him how much I liked his speech. Wasn't it dreamy?" Brandi gushed._

_Mary tugged on a pigtail. "Dreamy? Are you talking about the speech or my boyfriend?"_

_Brandi blushed._

"_Squish, did you even understand what he was talking about?"Mary asked as she captured her sister's hand and resumed walking through the crowd._

"_Sure, I did. He was talking about hopes and dreams and some girl named Betty Nor."_

_Mary stopped and stared at her little sister. "Who?"_

"_Weren't you listening? He used to have bad dreams about some girl named-"_

_Mary bit her lip but it was impossible to hold back her laughter. "Oh Squish – he wasn't talking about a girl named Betty – he was talking about petit noir – that's French for nightmare."_

"_Oh." Brandi huffed out a breath. "Well, why didn't he just say that?"_

_Marshall appeared at Mary's side, winding an arm around her waist. "Because it sounds better in French, Bee."_

"_Marshall!" Brandi squealed. "What-"_

"_Could you get me a drink, Bee? I'm really thirsty from all the talking I did up front."_

"_OK!" Brandi saluted and ran off towards the punchbowl._

"_Alone at last," Mary breathed as she wound her arms around his neck._

"_Not for long-"_

"_Then you better shut up and-"_

_His lips met hers and the grassy lawn and all the people faded away until all Mary could hear was the pounding of her own heartbeat in her ears. _

"_Marshall!"_

_He broke away from Mary's lips to see his father standing a few feet away, his face red._

_Mary looked up at him in concern. "Trouble?"_

"_Afraid so – meet me later at our spot?"_

_She gave him a short peck. "Sure – just let me get Brandi home."_

"_Now, Marshall!"_

_He rolled his eyes as he went over to his father and Mary went to find Brandi. She found her talking to Mrs. Evans, their upstairs neighbor, by the punchbowl._

"_Hi, Mary. Congratulations!"_

"_Thank you – Mrs. Evans, would you mind taking Brandi home and staying with her if my mom's not there?"_

"_Of course not – you know I love staying with her."_

"_Hey! I'm twelve now – I can stay alone."_

"_Yes, I know – but I don't know how long I'll be."_

_Brandi pouted. "You and Marshall are going out. Can't I come?"_

"_Not this time."_

"_You always say that."_

_Mary leaned down. "No, I don't. You come lots of times and you know it. But today I want it to be just us, OK? You can do something with us tomorrow, all right?"_

_Brandi threw her arms around Mary's neck. "OK, love you sis."_

"_I love you too."_

_Mary winked at Mrs. Evans and meandered through the crowds, knowing that Marshall wouldn't be done talking with his father for awhile yet. But as she was walking back that way, she saw that they were locked in a heated conversation and her curiosity got the better of her. Moving closer so she could hear without being seen, Mary pulled herself up on a nearby stone ledge and listened._

"_\- she's not worth it! I won't have you throwing away your education over some girl!"_

"_I'll still be going to college, Dad-"_

"_But this is Harvard, son! You're throwing away a free ride to one of the finest schools in the country for what? Your girlfriend?"_

_Mary's hand flew to her mouth. Wait – he wasn't going to Harvard? This is what he wanted to talk to her about?_

"_I love her, Dad. She could very well be the one-"_

"_Oh please! You're eighteen years old – what do you know about love? You're obviously not thinking clearly. Just screw her and be done with it."_

"_DAD!"_

"_What?"_

"_Things aren't like that between us – I've never – we've never-"_

"_Why not? According to her reputation she'll spread her legs for anyone who asks-"_

_Marshall's fist connected with his father's jaw as Mary slid off her perch. "Marshall, stop!"_

_He whirled at the sound of her voice. "Mary-" he breathed. "How much-"_

"_Enough. Please, don't! I'm not – he's your-" she was crying, the tears falling fast and furious. "Don't throw your life away for me. I'm not worth it." She turned and fled._

"_Mary, wait!"_

* * *

That was the last time she remembered seeing Marshall – and up until yesterday she had thought that's where their relationship ended. Until Will had shown up and said they had gotten married and had a son.

Mary punched her pillow and closed her eyes. What had happened between that moment and her waking up in the hospital? She knew Marshall had some of the answers and if she had to torture them out of him, she would. But would he be able to tell her why she had pulled a James Wiley Shannon and abandoned her own family? She needed to know, even though the truth would hurt.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want to come with me this morning?" Marshall leveled a serious gaze at his son over his coffee cup.

Liam shook his head. "I think it would be better if you saw her first, alone. I've already had my first meeting – and besides, what if that fiancé guy is still hanging around?"

Marshall grinned. "I'm not going to beat him up, Son."

"Come on, Dad. The guy's a total prick."

"That's not fair – you showed up out of the blue and blindsided them yesterday with this information. I'm sure in the light of a new day, we will be able to talk about things rationally."

Liam snorted. "Yeah, right. But there's something you should know about this guy, Dad – he was drunk when he got back to Mom's last night."

Marshall frowned. "She's engaged to someone who drinks?" He shook his head. "That doesn't sound like the girl I used to know – but then, I'm sure she's changed. Did she drink last night?"

"Not with me – we had root beer."

Marshall relaxed. "Well, that's good. I guess I just thought since Brandi made the decision not to drink alcohol that Mary would do the same but I can't do that."

"Do what?"

"Think of them as being the same – even at eighteen and twelve, Mary and Brandi were very much their own individuals."

"When did Aunt Brandi decide not to drink?"

"It was a promise she made over Jinx's grave – growing up with an alcoholic mother and then having the alcohol be responsible for her mom's death-" Marshall shook his head. "Brandi vowed never to touch the stuff, and except for unknowingly drinking some spiked punch in college, she never has."

"But Mom was long gone by the time Jinx died in that accident-"

Marshall nodded. "But when we were together, we talked about it – her past and how alcohol had affected her. We agreed never to have alcohol in our home. So I can't understand how she could be with someone who drinks, unless she's started to drink as well."

"I guess you'll just have to ask her."

Marshall shook his head. "I have no right – she's not-"

"What – your wife? Dad, come on, you have every right. Even if you're different people now, I know you still care-"

"Will, drop it, please." Marshall drained his coffee cup and slowly got to his feet. "What are you going to do with yourself this morning while I'm gone?"

"There's an internet café a few blocks from here – I'll go get online and chat with Jules for awhile and then just walk around some, maybe find a place the three of us can meet for lunch later. If I do, I'll text you, OK?"

"Keep your phone with you – I'll call you later, all right? And be careful."

"I will, Dad."

* * *

Mary was scrambling eggs in the pan when she heard a thump and a groan from the bedroom. "Guess the dead beat's up," she muttered under her breath as she pushed the button on the coffee machine to start the second pot of the day. She'd already drunk one pot herself at five this morning when she had given up on sleep for the night and it was threatening to come back up if she didn't put something else in her stomach. Eggs were one of three things she knew how to make and the only one that required a heat source. If she wasn't careful, her eggs came out burnt on the bottom nine times out of ten, but they still filled her belly and that was the most important part anyway. Today, since she was alone in the kitchen with only her thoughts to distract her, she managed to keep them from scorching.

She was just sliding them onto a plate when she heard feet shuffling behind her and she turned her head to peer over her shoulder. Raph was standing by the table, still naked, holding his head in agony, squinting his eyes against the bright light of the sun streaming into the room.

"Mer- is there any coffee?"

"Go put some clothes on, Raph."

He lowered one hand and stared. "Since when do we have a dress code in the kitchen?"

"Since now – go put some clothes on and I'll pour you a cup."

He grunted and went in search of a pair of boxers. "Why are you such a bitch in the mornings? Is it your time of the month or something?" he called over his shoulder.

Mary laughed. "No – you would definitely know if that was the problem."

He reappeared in the doorway wearing boxers and a T-shirt. "Then what – wait, I'm remembering something," he shook his head. "Was there a kid here yesterday claiming to be your son?"

"His name is Will and yes, he's my son."

"Mon Dieu, I'm going to need more than coffee." Raph stumbled over to the counter, reaching for his waiting cup of coffee.

"You had more than coffee last night and look at the sorry state you're in this morning." She slid into a chair and began eating her eggs.

"What are you doing?"

"Eating breakfast – I don't want my eggs to get cold."

"Eating – how can you eat at a time like this?"

Mary shrugged. "I'm hungry."

Raph's eyes fell to something sparkly on the table – her engagement ring. "What's this?" he demanded as he scooped it up. "Why isn't this on your finger?"

Mary took a deep breath. "Raph, I can hardly be engaged to you when I'm still married to-"

He held up a warning finger. "Don't. Don't even say it. You're not married – you can't be. This whole thing is some big joke – you'll see. This ring is going back on your finger-"

She shook her head. "Not until we've figured this out one way or the other."

Raph dropped to his knees beside her chair. "Mary, I love you. Yesterday I was ready to elope to start our life together – please say that you still want the same. Tell me nothing's changed – that you still want our life together."

Mary swallowed hard as she looked into Raph's dark eyes. "I – I – just need some time to figure all this out. Can you do that? Be patient and give me time to get my answers?"

Raph hung his head as the doorbell rang. "Are you expecting anyone?" he asked and Mary nodded. "Who?"

"Let me get it-"

"No – who's at the door, Mary?"

"Raph-"

He shot to his feet and with her broken ankle beat her to the door easily. "What do you want?" he demanded, throwing open the door in Marshall's startled face.

"You must be the fiancé," Marshall drawled, his face set in a blank mask.

"Yeah – and you are?"

"Marshall," Mary breathed his name as a smile broke out on her face. "It's been a long time."

He nodded tightly. "Hello, Mary."

Raph looked between the two of them, anger building inside of him at their connection. "You're the husband?"

Marshall blinked. "Yes."

"I don't believe it." Raph turned back to Mary. "You married HIM? Seriously? Why?"

Mary had been studying Marshall, noticing every little detail about him that had filled out since the last time she had seen him. Marshall cleared his throat and she dropped her eyes as Raph's words penetrated her consciousness and she turned back to him in surprise.

"Why?" she repeated, her voice hoarse with emotion. "I was in love with him."

* * *

**A/N: dun dun dun - I know, I'm mean to leave it there! Want more? Leave me some love in reviews!**


	9. Reunion Pt 2

**I don't think I've said this for this story so here it is: I don't own IPS or its characters. Only Will/Liam Mann is mine - and I'm not sharing! ;)**

* * *

Raph stared at the documents in his hands, his brow furrowed and a frown on his face. "These are copies – where are the originals?"

"In my safety deposit box at the Albuquerque First National Bank and Trust."

"You live in Albuquerque?" Mary piped up from her end of the sofa where Marshall had insisted she sit with her broken ankle elevated on the coffee table.

He nodded. "Will and I moved there when I graduated college and became a US Marshal – he barely remembers the East Coast."

"But surely you've taken him back to visit your parents?"

Marshall didn't answer and she watched as a pained expression crossed his face. "Mom's come out to visit us every summer-"

Raph cleared his throat. "If we could get back to these-" he waved the papers.

Marshall blinked. "Of course – what do you want to know?"

"How do I know they're not fake?"

"Raph!" Mary gasped. "Why on earth would Marshall fake our wedding and Will's birth certificates?"

Raph shrugged. "Like I said, maybe he needs something from you."

She threw up her hands. "Like what? He's a US citizen so he doesn't need a green card or a VISA, unlike you," she pointed an accusing finger in his direction and watched as he wilted. "And I know he's not after me for alimony or child support after all these years-"

"No, Mary, Raph's right. I do want something."

Mary's mouth fell open slightly as Raph sat back with a smirk.

"I want you get to know our son – I'm sorry that I kept him from you all these years. I should have known that something was wrong, that the girl I fell in love with and married would never have stayed away so long without something interfering – something like an accident. I should have come looking for you. I know you're mad – but please, be mad at me, not Will. He's a great kid – well, not really a kid anymore," Marshall grinned. "He really would like to get to know you."

Mary blinked her tears away and gave him a small nod. "And I'd like to get to know him."

Raph was scowling again. "I still don't know that I believe all this-" he waved the documents in the air.

Mary leaned forward and tore them from his fingers. "I really don't care what you think about all this. I believe him, Raph."

"Just like that?"

She locked eyes with Marshall and nodded. "Just like that."

Marshall released a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Look, Raph, I'm not here to take your girl from you. All I want is for Mary to get to know her son. I had no idea that she didn't remember him-"

Raph shot to his feet. "Well, she's hardly my girl when she's still married to you!"

"That's merely a technicality that can be resolved quite easily." Marshall reached into his bag and pulled out another set of papers. "I've already signed – they just need your signature, Mary."

Her heart was in her throat. "Are these-"

Marshall nodded. "Divorce papers. Don't worry, I'll still answer all your questions to the best of my ability but I don't want you to think that I'm here under some misguided notion of trying to resurrect our marriage-"

Raph snorted.

"I'm serious, Raph," Marshall turned towards him. "We were kids, and haven't seen each other in eighteen years," he shrugged. "I'm sure we've grown into two completely different people – maybe we wouldn't even like each other now-"

Mary smiled sadly as she traced his signature on the page. "I don't know about that."

"Well, maybe that's going a bit far," Marshall admitted. "But we were kids back then and now we're adults, right? Surely you haven't spent the last eighteen years waiting for-" he bit the words off, realizing what he was about to say.

"That's not fair!" Mary snapped. "I didn't know I was married! How could I wait and look for you if I didn't know? You can't blame me for something I can't remember, Marshall!"

Marshall winced and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry – that was thoughtless of me. I should go – Will is waiting for my call-"

Mary dropped the papers and lunged for his hand. "Oh no – you're not going anywhere, Marshall Mann. You promised me answers and I'm not letting you go until I get some."

Raph cleared his throat. "I think I'm going to shove off – maybe go hit some balls before our game this afternoon."

Mary's eyes landed on him. "Raph, wait. I – I'm sorry-"

He shrugged. "It's OK. I know you need answers-"

"Yeah but-"

Marshall got to his feet. "I'm going to step outside and give you both a minute."

* * *

The tang of the ocean air did its magic and cleared his head almost immediately. Tension and emotions had been running high inside and Marshall knew that if he had remained inside for much longer he would have snapped and would have either said or done something he would have regretted later.

"_I was in love with him."_

Her words still rang in his ears and nearly sent him to his knees as he began walking towards the sand. She had never, ever said them in all the time they had been together – but she had come close. Their wedding night she had said it had never been like that with anyone else, ever. The day Will was born she said she couldn't have done it with anyone else – that he completed her and made her stronger than she was alone. He hoped that meant she loved him, but she had never said the words.

Today, after an eighteen year separation, hearing her confess to her fiancé that she had been in love with him had nearly moved him to tears and the urge to take her in his arms and kiss her and forget everything that had happened was so strong that he didn't know how he had fought it off. If Raph hadn't been in the doorway blocking the way, he feared that he very much would have. Then what would he have told Will – so much for his words about not falling into each others' arms and kissing her!

But the moment had passed and Raph had demanded proof. Marshall had been surprised Mary hadn't demanded it as well she had already seemed to be past the shock and well into the acceptance stage. She had barely glanced at the photocopies of their wedding and Will's birth certificates before Raph had ripped them from her hands, and merely locked gazes with him waiting to ask her questions.

Marshall had meant what he'd said: he should have known something was wrong. Mary wouldn't have stayed away this long without a damn good reason. If he hadn't been trying to protect himself and Will from more heartache, he could have found her years ago and maybe there would have been a chance for them to be-

"Stop beating yourself up, Marshall."

He didn't turn at her words, just continued to look out at the ocean. "You better have your crutches, Mer, or I'm carrying you back to the house to get them."

She grunted. "It's just a broken ankle-"

He whirled at her words, and took in her appearance, noticing how she was leaning to one side to keep the weight off her injury. "Shit, woman! Doesn't anyone look after you?" he crossed to her side swiftly and placed his hands at her waist.

"Marshall – what are you-"

He lifted her easily onto the nearby driftwood log, swinging her leg up so her injured ankle was elevated. "Now stay there- I'm going back to the house for your crutches."

She grabbed his arm. "No – don't."

"Mary-"

"Raph is packing up some clothes and I don't think seeing you would be the best thing right now."

He dropped onto the sand beside the log. "What happened?"

She shrugged. "I asked him to stay with one of his buddies while I get this all sorted out in my head."

"But I gave you the papers-"

Mary gave a short snort of laughter. "It doesn't change the fact that I just found out yesterday that I've been married for the past eighteen years and have a son. I'm in shock here, Marshall – I need some time."

He nodded. "I'll go then-"

Her eyes snapped back into focus. "Sit your ass down. I need answers."

"You don't need them right this second – or even today. I don't want to add to your pain and confusion right now-"

"So don't. Tell me a good memory of us. Will told me yesterday that we eloped to Atlantic City after graduation but the last thing I remember is you fighting with your dad on the lawn and me running off – remember that?"

Marshall nodded.

"So what happened next?"

He grinned. "You proposed to me."

"I did not!"

"Oh yes you did, Miss Shannon!"

She crossed her arms. "I think you better tell me what happened, Mr. Mann."

* * *

_**On the Jersey Shore**_

_**June 1995**_

"_Mary! Mary, wait!" Marshall cut the engine of his bike, kicked the stand, ripped off his helmet and ran after the figure of his girlfriend that was sitting on the shore. _

_Mary turned her head at the sound of his voice and got up, brushing sand from her long skirt, and began walking away from him. "Go away, Marshall!" she called over her shoulder. "There's nothing more to say-"_

_He'd caught up to her by this time and swung her around to face him. "How can you say that?" he panted. "I love you, Mary. You know that – I can't just let you go."_

_Tears were streaming down her face. "It's over, Marshall. We've graduated and in the fall you're going to Harvard and I'll go to community-"_

_His lips captured hers and for a moment she let herself fall into his body, running her fingers through his sweaty hair. But with a cry, she pulled away, twisting her face to the side. "NO! Listen to me – we're over. It will be easier if we just end things now."_

_Marshall snorted. "Easier? We're going to be working side by side all summer at the diner and you think I'm going to be able to keep my hands off you? Or watch as you start dating someone else?"_

_Mary groaned. "So what are we supposed to do? Stay together until you leave for Harvard and then break up?"_

_He cupped her face. "I'm not going to Harvard – I'm not leaving you."_

_She shook out of his hold. "I'm not letting you throw that opportunity away – not for me."_

"_You're worth it – we're worth it." He crushed his mouth back to hers and this time she didn't fight him as she wound her arms around his neck and held on tight. When air became an issue, she pulled away and rested her forehead against his._

"_You're not leaving me?"_

_He kissed her nose. "Never."_

_She shook her head. "Your father won't let us be together – he'll find a way to break us up."_

"_He can try – but he'll fail. It's you and me forever, Mer."He kissed her softly. "I'm not afraid of my father. We'll just have to think of a way to outfox him-"_

_She gripped his hands in hers. "What if we got married?"_

_The grin slid from Marshall's face. "Are you serious?"_

_She nodded. "Then he couldn't break us up and if you're forced to go to Harvard in a few months, I can go with you-"_

_He kissed her._

"_Is that a yes?"_

"_I don't know – was that a proposal?"_

"_Marshall Mann, will you marry me?"_

"_Mm – yes." He kissed her soundly before he grabbed one of her hands and began running towards the stairs that led to the parking lot._

"_Where are we going?" she panted._

"_Atlantic City-"_

"_What!"_

_He handed her his extra helmet. "Weren't you serious?"_

"_Well – yeah, but – Your parents are going to be pissed!"_

_He shrugged. "And your mom's not?"_

_Mary thought for a moment. "She'll be sad that she missed my wedding and that I'm not there to take care of Squish- oh!"_

_Marshall paused. "Shit – Bee, I forgot about her. Is someone staying with her?"_

"_Yeah, our neighbor. I was just thinking how disappointed she's going to be when she hears that I married you and she lost her chance."_

_Marshall flushed. "Really? She's a little young for me, don't you think?"_

_Mary laughed. "Don't tell her that."_

_He pulled her against him. "So – are you ready to become Mrs. Mann?"_

_Mary ran a hand down his chest. "I should be asking you if you're ready to be deflowered."_

_He blushed deeply. "MARY! No one says 'deflowered' anymore."_

_She laughed as she swung up behind him on the motorbike, hiking her long skirt up to her knees. "Let's do it," she leaned forward to whisper in his ear._

_Marshall grinned as he revved the engine and took off down the highway._

* * *

"Wow," Mary exhaled softly.

Marshall smiled as he continued to scan the Atlantic Ocean in front of him. There was something about telling that story here, on a beach on the right side of the USA with the woman who had been his child bride. He hadn't looked at her once during the story, afraid to see the emotions cross her face, afraid that she would see too many of his own in his eyes.

"I wish I could remember that."

Her words cut through his skin like a knife, and he flinched. With all the scenarios he'd played out in his head over the years about meeting up with Mary, amnesia had never entered the picture. To hear her say that she didn't remember their wedding, marriage, and the birth of their son was like losing her all over again.

"Marshall?"

He turned his head in her direction, wanting her to know that he heard her, but not wanting her to see the pain in his eyes.

"I've hurt you."

"You can't help your memory loss, Mary – but yes, it pains me that you don't remember one of the happiest days of my life."

Mary swallowed. "There's only a nine month difference between our wedding and Will's birth-" she cleared her throat. "Is he – did we-"

Marshall finally lifted his eyes to hers and was surprised to see a faint blush across her face. "Why, Miss Shannon, are you blushing?"

"Stop teasing me and tell me what I want to know!"

He grinned. "Yes, we made love on our wedding night and Will is our honeymoon baby."

"Wow," she whispered. "You didn't waste any time."

"We didn't waste any time," he corrected her softly.

"So I take it you didn't go to Harvard in the fall?"

He shook his head. "No, we moved into the city with my Aunt Gina and took a few classes at NYU. I had a part time job at Macy's and you worked there too until you got too big."

Mary made a face. "I'm not sorry I can't remember being pregnant."

"You were a bit grouchy and demanding at times-"

"Hey! It was all your fault-"

He paled. "You remember saying that?"

"No – it just came out. Why?"

Marshall shrugged. "Your hormones and emotions were all over the place when you were pregnant. You would be sweet and loving one minute and the next you'd be a screaming-"

"Bitch?" Mary smiled.

He nodded.

"Well, from what I've heard, that's normal."

"Your mood swings were more extreme than most women and I'd often come home to find you crying and in bed, and Aunt Gina would tell me that you hadn't moved all day. Both of us were worried about you but we didn't try as hard as we should have to get you help for your depression."

Mary was silent for a few moments after this revelation and Marshall feared he had shared too much too soon. But she reached for his hand and he laced their fingers together. "What happened after Will was born?" she whispered.

"At first, you felt better. But then Will wouldn't nurse and he had a hard time taking the bottle and you took it personally – you said that something was wrong with you that you couldn't even get your own son to eat. Finally he started to nurse a little and take a little formula and you perked up some. I thought things were getting better. But then-" he swallowed.

She squeezed his hand. "Tell me."

"I came home from work to find my dad in our basement apartment, holding Will. I asked why he was there because he hadn't been really speaking to us since the wedding. He said had been in the city and wanted to see his grandson. I asked where you were and at first he said you were at the store but I thought that was odd and I went into the bedroom looking for you and that was when I saw your ring lying on our bed with this note-" he released her hand to pull out his wallet. He extracted the well worn piece of paper. "Here."

She took it from him and read the words silently. "That's it? That's all I said?"

Marshall nodded.

"What did your father say?"

"Not much – I went back out and yelled and pleaded and demanded to know where you were but he insisted that Will was alone when he got there and that he'd seen the note the same as I had. But the whole time he was talking he wouldn't meet my eyes and I just knew he wasn't telling me the truth. I took Will from him and told him to get out and not come back until he was ready to tell me the truth or help me find you – that was the last time I spoke to him."

"Oh, Marshall," Mary's voice broke as she scooted forward on the log and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him into her. "I wish – I wish I could remember that day so I could tell you what happened! I don't remember anything until I woke up in that hospital – and it doesn't change the fact that I left. I walked out on my newborn son and my husband – why?"

He pulled back so he could see her face. "You were suffering from post partum depression, Mer-"

"But that's still not-"

"I know in your eyes it's not a legitimate reason but it's a real medical condition. I have no proof but I believe that my father played on your fears and insecurities and used them against you. We both know that you wouldn't have stayed away so long if not for the accident."

She cupped his face in her hands. "I am so sorry, Marshall."

He took a deep breath as he felt a little of the past baggage leave his shoulders. "I know."

"But this is all conjecture – both of us need answers to get closure. We need to talk to your father."

Marshall shook his head sadly. "I'm afraid it's too late, Mer. Dad died three years ago."

* * *

**A/N: How is Mary going to get her answers now? Reviews are LOVE!**


	10. Fathers

**A/N: Grab those tissues again, readers. I cried while writing/editing this chapter.**

* * *

"_Boys, you can break  
you'll find out how much they can take  
Boys will be strong  
and boys soldier on  
But boys would be gone without the warmth from  
A woman's good, good heart . . ._

_So fathers, be good to your daughters."_

_-John Mayer_

* * *

Mary recoiled in surprise. "Seth is dead? How – heartache?"

Marshall shook his head. "Shot, on the job."

"Dear God, shouldn't the man have been retired?"

"He was – but they kept asking him back a couple of times a year and you know Dad, he never said no to the Marshals. Mom begged him not to go on the last one – the man was an escaped convict from death row-"

"Wait – your father was on the team to capture Jason Maddox?"

"Yep – and he was the one fatality."

Mary shook her head. "Well, he went out like he always wanted to-"

"- and he did help recapture him so all's well that ends well, right?"

"Oh Marshall, you sound so – so-"

"What, bitter? No, I'm not, well, not much anyway. I have some regrets – the biggest one being not knowing the part he played the day you left. I'm sorry I can't give you that missing piece, Mer. You must be pissed that I'm three years too late in finding you."

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't – but maybe we shouldn't give up yet. Maybe Patti-"

But Marshall was already shaking his head. "Mom doesn't know anything."

"How do you know? Have you asked her?"

"Of course – and she would have volunteered any information she had years ago. I'm afraid this is a secret Dad took with him to the grave."

Mary reached out and brushed a stray lock out of his eyes. "I can't believe two men so different share the same genetic material. Are you sure you're not adopted?"

He grunted. "I have the saliva test to prove it."

She laughed. "Wait – you ran your own DNA test to prove Seth was your father?"

He leveled a gaze at her. "Can you blame me?"

She shook her head. "I guess not. Neither of us had father of the year Dads, huh?"

He grunted again.

"I'm glad Will had you growing up – he told me you're his best friend."

Marshall blinked back the moisture in his eyes. "I just tried to be everything I wanted my own dad to be and wasn't, you know? In the end I hope it was enough."

Mary took his hand in hers. "It was – you being there to love and raise him, Marshall, was more than enough. Hell, it was more than my father did. And the fact that you are his best friend is more than your father ever was for you – you really are my hero, Marshall Mann." She leaned forward and kissed his cheek softly. "Thank you for doing such a good job raising our son."

"Does this mean you forgive me for not finding you sooner?"

"Only if you forgive me for running out on you both in the first place."

Marshall's eyes clouded over and Mary's free hand flew to his lips. "No, I'm sorry, it's too soon for that – it's been eighteen years for you while it's only been a day for me. How about we agree to start from here and work on things – you keep answering my questions and I'll tell you what I remember as well. Deal?"

He removed her fingers and fought the urge to kiss them, placing them instead in his lap. "Deal."

They sat quietly side by side for several minutes before Mary broke the silence. "I found him, Marshall. I found my Dad."

He turned on the log to look at her, but she was staring out to sea, her face stormy with emotion. "How?"

"Isn't that what US Marshals do- find people?"

"Mary-" he sighed and she turned at the pleading sound in his voice. "Tell me."

"When I woke up in the hospital, for the longest time, all I could remember was my first name. I was in a Catholic hospital and it turned out that one of the sisters had actually found me and brought me in. She had sat with me every day until I opened my eyes – without her vigilant care the doctors probably would have shut off the machines-"

"Let me know where to send the thank you card," Marshall murmured and she smiled.

"Anyway, Sister Agnes took good care of me and eventually I remembered my full name and other bits and pieces of my life – and I began to wonder who was paying my bills. Sister told me not to worry, that it was being taken care of. Even through my physical therapy and rehab, everything was paid for but no one came to visit. I pretended to drop the matter but I never forgot about it and when I became a US Marshal, I dug into the hospital records and found my bills were paid for by the government."

"Our government?"

Mary slugged his shoulder playfully. "Yes, String Bean, our government. But the company was a front and I couldn't find out who was really behind it – so I left it alone."

Marshall frowned. "That's it? That's the end of the story? You know, I have to say that you're a horrible storyteller. I can give you some hints-"

"Did I say I was done? I was pausing for dramatic effect."

"Oh, sorry. Please continue."

She smiled. "Then I began digging into the system to find my dad – and yes, that's the real reason I became a US Marshal in the first place and what do you think I found?"

"What?"

"I found a connection between the company that paid for my hospital bills and my father."

"Wait – your father paid for your medical bills? But that would mean that he had been keeping tabs on you all these years-"

"Exactly! So I dug deeper and found an alias and a location and went to visit a John Seamus in Topeka."

* * *

_**Topeka, Kansas**_

_**September 2002**_

"_Don't stay too long, Inspector. It's one of his better days but Mr. Seamus needs his rest. Don't upset him."_

"_I won't, thank you. Oh, nurse?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_How long does Mr. Seamus have to live?"_

"_The doctors don't like to put a timeframe on a person's life. There are too many factors involved, not the least of which are the person's will to live and God's providence. But Mr. Seamus is in the final stages of colon cancer – it won't be long now, poor man." The nurse made the sign of the cross and left, closing the door behind her._

_Mary stepped further into the sterile room, wrinkling her nose at the strong odor of ammonia and other cleaning agents still lingering in the air. John's breathing was labored as he lay curled on his side facing away from the door, but turned his head slightly at her approach._

"_Did you bring lunch? I told you I'm not interested in the slop they serve here."_

"_I'm not the nurse and I didn't bring lunch."_

_John rolled to his back and stared at her, his blue eyes pierced into hers. "Mary," he breathed. "How –" he coughed. "How did you find me?"_

"_It's what I do."_

_John pushed himself up slightly in bed. "I'm not a fugitive – I've served my time – they took their pound of flesh a long time ago. If you're here for more, I'm afraid you're too late. I'll be dead soon."_

"_You paid my hospital and other medical bills."_

_John nodded._

"_Why?"_

"_Why?" he repeated. "You're my daughter, I'm your father-"_

_Mary barked a laugh. "That's funny – you haven't been my father since I was seven years old. Why the sudden attack of conscience now?"_

"_Mary-"_

"_No, I've spent the last year looking for you so you're going to listen to me. What gives you the right to suddenly start acting like my father? You walked out on us, remember?"_

"_Well, from where I'm sitting the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."_

_Mary recoiled in shock. "What the hell does that mean?"_

_John's heart monitor began beeping wildly as his eyes rolled back into his head. Mary backed up as the nurse flew into the room. "What did you do? Didn't I tell you not to upset him? Leave, now!"_

"_But I-"_

"_Now!"_

* * *

"I went back the next day, but he was gone."

"Mary, I'm so sorry."

"He was going to tell me that I was just like him – that I had abandoned my own family."

"No, listen to me-" Marshall cupped her face in his hands. "You are not your father-"

"How can you say that?"

"Because your father was a grown man who chose to rob banks for a living and abandoned his wife and children to save his own skin. You on the other hand were barely out of high school and suffering from post partum depression. The two situations are completely different – I know you would have come home if the accident hadn't happened-"

Tears were streaming down her face and over his hands. "How do you know that?"

"Because I had faith in us – I told you it was you and me, forever. Do you remember that?"

She nodded.

"You believed that then – and I know you believed me when I told you I loved you."

"Is that why you waited for me – because you loved me?"

He nodded. "And because you asked me too."

"So, in eighteen years, there hasn't been anyone – you haven't-" she left the sentence unfinished.

He shook his head and dropped his hands from her face.

She hung her head. "I can't say the same, Marshall. I know it will hurt you, but I've been with-"

"Hey," he interrupted. "You didn't know, OK? Besides, it was a long time ago. Things are different now – you're engaged and I've given you the papers and everything's going to be fine. You and Raph can get married and -"

"But you waited for me."

He shrugged.

"Why?"

"I – wait, what are you asking me? Why did I wait for you or why didn't I find someone else?"

Now it was her turn to shrug. "Both, I guess. Is the answer different?"

His eyes fluttered shut. _Shit, how do I answer this? _"Because you asked me to wait."

Her jaw dropped. "Yeah, eighteen years ago I asked you to wait. But what kept you waiting? I mean, I didn't ask you to turn into a monk waiting for me! Unless-" she paled. "Oh my God."

"Mary, what-"

She stood on shaky legs, her face as pale as the sand beneath her feet. "You still love me."

"I-"

"The truth, Marshall. You promised me that – and you've always told me the truth so don't stop now. Are you still in love with me?"

"No."

She blinked. "No?"

"No."

"I don't believe you."

He shrugged. "Fine, don't believe me."

She took a step in his direction. "I don't believe that a man would wait eighteen years simply because of a note if there weren't deep feelings involved. So you better explain yourself, Marshall – because I think your nose is about to grow."

"I'm not explaining anything until you sit down and take the weight off your ankle."

"Damn it, Marshall! I'm not a porcelain doll – I don't need a protector or someone to-"

Ignoring her protests he placed his hands around her waist and once again lifted her onto the log, propping her foot on the opposite end. "Comfortable?"

She glared daggers at him but he just smiled sweetly at her.

"I was deeply in love with you once, as you well know. And yes, in the beginning that is why I waited for you – because of that love we shared. Then I waited for you because of Will – I knew that he deserved to know his mother. And I never met anyone who compared to you – no other women made me feel that same spark that you did – so if you call that 'waiting', yeah, I guess I was waiting."

She tilted her head and glared at him. "But you're not in love with me?"

Marshall grew serious. "How can I be? I don't know you anymore. It's been eighteen years, Mary. I have no idea if you still like horror movies but only if you have someone to watch them with, or if your secret favorite color is pink, or if you still like to watch people come out of public restrooms to see if they have toilet paper stuck to their shoes."

Mary smiled. "All those are still true, Marshall."

"Then what about the fact that you're engaged to someone who drinks, hm? I remember you and I having a serious discussion about never having alcohol in our house, Mary, because of all the negative effects it had on your mom and the bad memories from your childhood. Do you remember that?"

She flinched. "Marshall, I can explain-"

He held up a hand. "No, I'm sorry. I've overstepped. You don't have to explain anything to me. I just wanted to point out that we're different – we've grown up and we don't really know each other anymore and that's OK because I've really only come out here for one reason: Will. He wants to have a relationship with you."

"I want that too."

"Then we're in agreement." He brushed the sand from his lap. "I need to go – Will is waiting."

"Marshall – about the papers-"

"Just sign them and get them back to me. I'll file them with my lawyer when I get home."

"That's it?"

He nodded. "That's it."

She swallowed. "We can still be friends, can't we?"

"I hope I'll always be your friend, Mary Shannon."

* * *

Liam looked up as his Dad came through the door. "Whoa! You look like shit."

"Thanks, Son. That's just what I needed to hear."

"Sorry – how'd it go?"

"I'm sorry to tell you that I didn't punch Raph and your mom and I didn't fall into each other's arms."

"So it was a wasted trip?"

Marshall sighed. "Will, it's extremely complicated, all right? Raph is staying somewhere else for a few days while-"

"She kicked the prick out? YES!"

He shook his head. "Your mom is in shock – I don't think she knows what she wants right now."

"So you're saying she could want you?"

He glared at his son. "You're not helping. Look, why don't you put on a clean T shirt and go meet Mary for lunch? I texted you the name and address of the restaurant."

"You're not coming?"

Marshall shook his head as he collapsed on the bed. "I need some down time."

"Dad – you're OK?"

"Hm? Oh, fine – just still tired from the flight. Go – I'll be here when you get back. Have fun."

Marshall listened as the door clicked shut behind Will and waited a few minutes to ensure his son was gone before letting the tears flow.

The door flew open. "Dad, I forgot to change-" Liam stood at the foot of the bed. "I knew it – I knew you weren't OK." He sat on the bed. "What happened?"

"Will, you're going to be late."

"Fuck, forget about that-"

"Will, language. Your mom is waiting-"

"I don't care. You come first-"

Marshall sat up slowly. "I did something stupid."

Liam snorted. "Is that all? I do stupid stuff all the time. Just say you're sorry and I'm sure Mary will forgive you."

Marshall shook his head. "You don't know your mother – besides, even though it was stupid, it was still the right thing to do."

Liam shook his head. "I don't get it."

"I know. Go to lunch. I don't want to tell you about it now. You'll only get pissed off and she'll notice and drag it out of you and you'll get caught in the middle and that's the last thing I want."

"OK – but you're not going to stay here and cry and stare at the ceiling the whole time I'm gone, are you?"

Marshall gave his son a small smile. "No, I'll go for a walk and try to clear my head."

"Sure you won't come with me?"

"No, but I'll walk out with you."

* * *

**Austin, TX**

"Are you sure you're ready, Mom? We can always to this tomorrow."

Patti Mann smiled at her daughter-in-law, Faith. "That's what I've been saying for the past three years. No, I can't put this off any longer. There are some papers that the attorney has been asking me for and they have to be in these last few boxes from Seth's study. I need to just put on my big girl panties and open them." Her hands trembled as she reached for the first box. "It's just – this is where Seth spent the most time when he was home, so opening these boxes will bring back a lot of memories for me. I – I don't know if-"

"Mom, should I call Mark?"

Patti wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "No, don't bother him at work. I could wait to do this when he gets home tonight but I know that the sight of my tears makes him uncomfortable so that's why I wanted to do this during the day while he was gone."

"Well, if you're sure-"

Patti nodded. "Let's get started."

The first box contained nothing more than the contents from the top of Seth's desk and so was very impersonal, except for one of his many well worn and loved pipes. Patti cradled it lovingly, kissing the bowl before setting it to the side for Mark, Michael, or one of the grandkids.

The second box brought Patti to her knees as the familiar scent of Seth's tobacco wafted out. She wiped away tears as family photos were pulled out and Faith went in search of more tissues.

"Found some!" she announced as she tripped back into the room.

Patti nearly dropped the framed print she was holding: a candid of Marshall, Mary, and newborn William. Something fell out of the back and fluttered to the floor. Faith picked the folded pages up and handed them to Patti as the older woman placed the picture on top of the others.

"What is that, Mom?"

"I don't know – it's Seth's writing, though." She unfolded the notepaper and saw that it was a letter addressed to Marshall and dated June 1, 2011. Patti scanned the first paragraph and gasped, her face going pale. "Oh my God," she whispered. "All this time, Seth knew. He knew and he never told any of us."

"Knew what?" Faith pressed her. "Mom, what are you talking about?"

"I can't believe he did this! Seth Mann, if you weren't already dead-" Patti fumed, as she got to her feet. "I've got to talk to Marshall – he has to know!"

* * *

**A/N: A letter from the beyond? What does it say? Is it the missing piece M&amp;M need? Stay tuned. Reviews are LOVE!**


	11. Where there's a Will

He'd lied to her.

Being backed into a corner and not wanting to appear like a pathetic, weak puppy dog that had been whining in the corner all these years for its owner to come home, Marshall had done the only thing he could think of to save face.

But was it really a lie? Yes, he still loved her – but he didn't know her anymore, not really. The Mary he knew wouldn't have stayed away all these years without coming back to check on Brandi – the baby sister she had practically raised from birth. Even if she couldn't remember the fact that they were married and had a son, she hadn't forgotten her sister. This was the one thing that kept eating at Marshall as he walked the shops outside the burger palace where Mary and Will were having lunch.

Will had tried to get him to stay and even Mary had sent him silent messages with her eyes. But in the end, he had simply smiled and held out his phone, and made excuses, saying he needed to check in with the office. He knew he would have to join them at some point but he needed just a little bit more time to get his conflicting emotions under control.

As he passed by the burger palace again, he noticed a young woman trying hard not to pay attention to Mary and Will's table. Marshall slowed his steps, and swung around to look out at the ocean while still able to keep the girl in his peripheral vision.

He started as his phone rang, but relaxed when he saw who it was. "Hi, mom. How are you – whoa, whoa, slow down! I can hardly – you found a letter from dad? What did it say?"

Marshall turned to look back at the young woman and only half heard his mother's reply as the sunlight glinted off the polished metal of a gun. "Mom, I'm going to have to call you back. I know – it's about Mary but – I have to go. I promise I'll call you back when I can."

* * *

"So what happened to your ankle?"

Mary shrugged. "Hazards of the job, Kid."

"Come on, that's the best you've got? I guess Dad really is the storyteller in the family."

Mary stuck out her tongue. "There's not that much to tell – well, not that much I can, OK? I was on the job, chasing this fugitive and I ah- stepped in a gopher hole."

Liam leaned back in his chair, struggling to keep a straight face. "Seriously?"

"Hey! I wasn't looking at the ground! I was trying to keep my eyes on the guy-"

Liam broke out in laughter. "Wow – at least you weren't shot in the ass."

"Who-" her eyes widened. "Marshall got shot in the ass?"

Liam nodded. "But don't tell him I told you."

Mary grinned. "You didn't – I figured it out all by myself."

"Thanks."

She sobered. "How many times has Marshall been shot?"

Liam grimaced. "Two times – the other time, he almost died."

Mary swallowed. "How old were you?"

"Fourteen. Dad told me that he fought hard to come back to me – and I didn't ask any more questions about you for two years. He was enough."

Mary swallowed the emotion in her throat. She should have been there – damn it, why wasn't she?

"So sorry I'm late, honey, but I couldn't get away sooner," Marshall drawled as he leaned over her chair and placed a feather light kiss on her lips. "Did you save me any lunch?"

"Marshall – what the fu-" Mary breathed.

"Shh," he whispered against her cheek, his breath fanning across her face. "There's a young woman at your four o'clock with a gun pointed at you. Just act natural, OK?" He felt her tense momentarily before she nodded slightly. He pulled away and sat down in the other empty chair and smiled at Will who was looking at him in confusion. Using the table as a shield, he made a shooting motion with his right hand and Will nodded.

"Sorry, Dad, we ate it all – are you hungry? I'm sure the waitress could put in an order for you."

"I'm not, really. What do you say we pay and get out of here?"

* * *

Marshall kept one hand on the small of Mary's back as she got her bearings and walked out on her crutches. "This would be easier if you'd let me go without them," she hissed under her breath.

He shook his head. "You need to use them – I could always throw you over my shoulder and carry you like a sack of potatoes-"

She glared at him and he gave her a wide berth as she angrily lifted one of her crutches and swung it at him. Marshall turned to see Will smiling at them. "What?"

"Nothing, Dad – it's just the two of you are so –"

"Don't, all right? Now is not the time." He glanced over his shoulder as they moved slowly up the boardwalk. "I don't think she followed us out of the restaurant."

"I didn't see her," Mary puffed. "Are you sure you weren't imagining things?"

"Positive. I know what I saw, Mary. She was a young Native American girl, black hair, dark eyes, around twenty, and she had a small red birthmark behind her right ear."

Mary stopped walking so suddenly that Marshall nearly bumped into her. "Jessie."

"You know her."

"Just from surveillance photos and the description – I've never actually seen her."

"Who is she?"

"She's the daughter of the man I helped capture just before I went on leave-"

Marshall held up a hand. "Let me guess: she holds you responsible. Have you received death threats?"

Mary rolled her eyes. "It's part of the job, Marshall – you can't take it seriously."

He stepped into her personal space. "The hell I can't! You were having lunch with my son less than fifty feet away from a young woman with a gun who wants to kill you! What if she had opened fire? That restaurant was full of people, Mer – she could have taken hostages."

"She just wants me."

"And what if Will was in the way, hm? It's not just you, Mary. You have a son – you're a mother. I know it takes some getting used to but you're going to have to switch from offense to defense once in awhile!"

"Dad."

Marshall whirled to look at Will. "What?"

"Cut her a little slack, OK? She only found out about me yesterday – and it's not like I'm a little kid. I can take care of myself. I know how to duck and cover when guns start blazing."

A corner of Marshall's mouth twitched and he turned back to see that Mary was staring straight ahead, pale and unmoving. "Shit! I'm sorry, Mer. I know this is all happening at once and I didn't mean to come down on you so hard but when I saw that gun, all I could think about was Will-"

Her green eyes flicked to his. "And you think I wasn't? I know it's barely been twenty-four hours but I'd be devastated if anything happened to him – you have to believe me."

He cupped the back of her neck and pulled her to him, her crutches crashing to the ground. "I do know – forgive me?"

She nodded against his chest as her tears soaked his shirt and Liam stood awkwardly to the side as his parents had their moment. His eyes scanned the crowd of shoppers and suddenly he snapped to attention.

"Dad? Is that her – the girl from the restaurant – over by the ice cream shoppe – our ten o'clock?"

Marshall tensed, but didn't release Mary as he lifted his eyes and looked in the direction his son indicated and saw the young woman standing in the shadows of the stand. "Let's go."

Mary pulled away and Marshall picked up her crutches. "Where?"

"We need to contact your boss – tell him that Jessie has found you and then we'll take you someplace safe."

She swallowed. "You mean – witness protection?"

He smiled. "No, you're not a witness to anything. But you do need to disappear for awhile and I happen to know the perfect place – that is, if you still want to know the truth and get your answers."

Mary's head was spinning but she nodded. "I have to know – I'm not going to have any peace until I know."

"Then let's go home."

* * *

"And you're sure this is the woman you saw?"

Marshall stared at the close up shot for another moment before nodding. "This is her – she's a couple of years older and you can't see her birthmark in this photo, but it was definitely Jessie."

Gavin pulled out more papers from his briefcase, handing them to Marshall. "This is a surveillance report of her entering the country from Mexico two days ago. As you can see, we have a description of her birthmark here, though some have described it as a tattoo."

Marshall shook his head. "No, it's definitely a birthmark: deep red in color, oblong in shape, and about an inch long."

Gavin smiled as he wrote down Marshall's words. "You make an excellent witness, Inspector."

"Comes with the job."

Gavin grunted. "Even when you're off duty, you're really not 'off' – am I right?"

Marshall shrugged and shook his head. "I must admit, I felt a little weird without my gun today. I always carry my badge and ID but traveling with my gun when I'm not on duty is more trouble than it's worth."

"I hear you." Gavin stood up. "Take care of Mary, would you? Look who I'm talking to – her husband. I just can't believe I've known her all these years and never knew."

Mary limped into the room carrying a suitcase. "How could you know when I didn't?"

Marshall leapt to his feet and took her luggage. "Damn it, Mer. I told you to tell me when you were finished. You shouldn't be carrying something this heavy with your broken ankle."

"It's not that heavy – back off, Marshall." She shrugged at Gavin. "He's worse than an old woman."

Gavin grinned. "I think you've met your match, Mary."

"I should get back to the hotel and see if Will is ready to go – thanks for sending a Marshal to watch over him until I got back," Marshall shook hands with Gavin.

"Don't mention it. It's me who should be thanking you for taking Mary out of the line of fire – you seem to be the only one who can get through to her. One day you'll have to tell me your secret."

"Hey!" Mary protested.

"You going to be OK until I get back?" Marshall frowned.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, mom, Gavin is going to be right outside. Besides, I asked Raph to stop by. I can't just leave town without letting him know."

Marshall nodded. "Do you want us to pick you up or-"

She shook her head. "I'll meet you at the airport."

He fought down the dread and fear that threatened to overwhelm him. Mary saw it in his eyes and she limped to his side, reaching up to touch his cheek. "Everything will be fine – I'll be there, I promise."

Gavin's presence was the only thing that prevented Marshall from pulling Mary into his arms and giving her a toe curling kiss. Instead he breathed one against her forehead. "You better be."

* * *

Marshall knew something was wrong the minute he got to the hotel and didn't see the unmarked car outside.

Flying up the outside staircase, he raced down the corridor until he reached their door, pausing as he saw it was slightly ajar. He listened for a moment and when he heard no sound from within, he pushed the door open and stepped inside.

"Come on in, Marshal Marshall Mann. We've been waiting for you."

As his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting inside, he tried hard to keep his posture relaxed as he saw his son sitting on the end of one of the beds staring at the business end of a revolver held by Jessie. She barely flicked a glance in his direction, keeping her attention trained on Will.

"Shut the door – oh, and don't trip on our friend there."

Marshall let the door shut behind him as he looked down to see the FTF agent passed out cold just inside the room, a large lump forming on the side of his head.

"As you can see, he's alive. I don't spill unnecessary blood if I can avoid it."

"Jessie-" he watched as she flinched at the sound of her name. "Why are you here?"

She motioned with her gun for Marshall to join Will on the bed and he slowly moved across the room. He locked eyes with his son, asking if he was all right, and relaxed slightly as he got a nod in response.

"Isn't it obvious? I want the Lady Marshal – and when she finds out I have her family, she'll come running, or hobbling." Jessie laughed at her own joke.

Marshall's gut clenched. It was becoming obvious that Jessie wasn't entirely stable and that made their situation even more dangerous and precarious. If he could somehow keep Jessie talking and get the gun away from her before Gavin and Mary figured out something was wrong and came to rescue them that would be the best thing for everyone.

"She only met me yesterday," Liam spoke for the first time since Marshall entered the room. "She doesn't care about me that much."

"That's not what it looked like on the beach yesterday."

Marshall realized that Jessie had been watching Mary ever since she had come into the country and he wondered if the info Gavin had was accurate – perhaps Jessie had been in Miami for a lot longer than forty-eight hours. Who knew how long she had had Mary under surveillance?

Liam straightened on the bed. "I don't care what it looked like – I only met her yesterday – so we're hardly close."

Marshall laid a hand on his son's knee and Liam shut his mouth, knowing that anything he said would just be twisted.

Jessie cocked her head, considering the words. "Doesn't matter," she shrugged. "You're still family and the Lady Marshal won't let anyone else die in her place."

* * *

"What do you mean, you're leaving town for awhile? I thought your son was staying here-"

Mary ran a hand through her hair. "Something's happened, Raph, and it's best that I leave town for a bit. I'll call you-"

"So that's it? I don't get to know where you're going or when you'll be back?"

She shook her head. "It will be safer for you if you don't."

"Safer?" Raph placed his hands on her shoulders. "Mary, Querida, are you in danger? Is someone-"

She shrugged out of his touch. "I can't tell you about this, Raph. There are some things I just can't talk about – remember?"

"So it is work."

Mary just stared at him as Gavin walked back into the front room from the kitchen. "Mary, we have to go. I'm not getting a progress report from Wallins and Marshall isn't picking up either."

"Fuck!" she swore as she reached for her crutches. "I should have gone with him to get Will. I should have-"

"Mary, what's happening?"

"I don't have time to explain. Stay here – Gavin can you leave-"

Gavin nodded. "Payne can stay."

"Thanks. Raph, stay here until you hear from me."

"But Mary – I have a game at five."

"I'll call before that. Hopefully this is all a false alarm and everything's fine."

"Will you please just tell me-"

She hobbled out the front door. "Later!"

* * *

Marshall ignored the buzzing of his phone in his pocket, thankful that he had put it on vibrate before leaving Mary's house. He knew that they were running out of time – that Gavin and Mary would be here soon and if he hadn't found a way to disarm Jessie before that happened, someone was going to end up hurt.

"I think it's time to call the Lady Marshal, don't you?"

Marshall cleared his throat. "Can't we talk first?"

"About what?"

"About why you're doing this."

Jessie smiled. "I'm here to avenge my father's death."

Liam's mouth fell open. "Your father is dead?"

"Your mother didn't tell you that?"

Marshall laid his hand back on his son's knee and they remained silent, waiting to see if Jessie would talk.

"My father was a brave man – oh, I know he broke the law – but what was he supposed to do? Sit on his hands and watch as his sister died in pain and agony? None of us had the money to get the medicine she needed to ease her pain, so he borrowed it – and eased her suffering." Jessie pointed the gun at Marshall. "Do you have a sister?"

"Yes."

"Can you tell me that you wouldn't do the same for her?"

Marshall didn't answer. There wasn't much on this side of heaven or hell he wouldn't do for Brandi – but turn to a life of crime and steal prescription medication? He just didn't know – and he didn't know that she would ask him to either.

"I see the conflict in your face, Marshal Marshall Mann – and I saw it in my father as well. But he did what he had to. In the end, his sister, my aunt, died and he was captured for his crimes."

Jessie fell silent and Liam couldn't help but ask, "And you blame my mother for this?"

The gun swung back to Liam and he tried hard not to flinch. "I blame her for being his judge and jury- for breaking his spirit. My father took his own life last week as he waited for his trial to start. I blame her for condemning him and finding him guilty before a jury of his peers did. His death is on her head."

Liam shook off his father's warning hand and leapt to his feet. "That's crazy!"

"Will-" Marshall pleaded, his tone loving and full of warning.

"No, I can't let her talk about Mary like this! I know you miss your dad, and I'm sorry for your loss, Jessie. But my mom was just doing her job. I know it seems like she was judging him but that's not what she does. Her job is simply to bring in people who are fugitives – and that's what your father was. He may have been the greatest dad in the whole world, but he still stole those drugs – and I'm sure there were other people out there who needed them just as much as your aunt. Did you ever think about that?"

"I needed my dad!"

Liam took a step closer, ignoring the fact that he was now less than six inches from the barrel of the gun. "I know – but hurting my mom by killing one of us isn't going to bring him back. It will only send you to jail for a very long time. You don't want that, do you? I don't think that's what your dad wanted for you."

"Oh, Daddy," Jessie sobbed as her gun hand began to shake.

"Put the gun down, Jessie," Marshall whispered, standing slowly. "Put it down and I'll help you."

Jessie looked at Liam and he nodded. "He means it – my dad has connections, he knows people. He can talk to people, put in a good word for you. You can trust him."

She lowered the gun and Marshall felt himself take his first easy breath since entering the room as he stepped forward to take it from her.

"US Marshals, freeze!"

"I trusted you!" Jessie snarled as she raised the gun and pointed it at Marshall's chest.

"Jessie, no!" Liam screamed as he stepped in front of his dad as the gun went off.

"WILL!" Marshall cried as he caught his son in his arms, cradling him as they fell to the floor. "Stay with me, I love you, stay with me."

Gavin and Mary burst into the room, horrified at the scene in front of them: Marshall cradling a bleeding Will and Jessie curled into a ball, rocking back and forth, the gun at her feet, murmuring, "I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to."

Gavin whipped out his cell and dialed 911 as Mary hobbled as fast as she could to Marshall's side, dropping beside him on the floor. "Will! Marshall, what happened?"

Marshall raised fury filled eyes to hers. "This is all your fault. I had everything under control and then you come in like Annie Oakley and-" he choked. "Will, my boy, my son-"

Liam's eyes fluttered open. "Dad?"

Marshall caressed his son's face. "Will, hang on – the ambulance is on the way."

"It hurts-"

"I know, I know."

"I'm cold-"

Mary took his hands and rubbed them. "Hang on, Kid."

"Mom?"

Her heart broke a little as she heard the word for the first time. "Yes?"

"Take care – of Dad-"

"Oh Will, no, don't-" Mary began to cry.

"I love you – both-"

Marshall felt his son's body go limp in his arms and he buried his face in his son's chest as the sobs shook his body.

* * *

**A/N: Breathe, everyone. I promise not to leave you hanging for too long ;) Reviews are LOVE!**


	12. Hang onto to me

**A/N: I'm baack! Hope everyone had a safe and happy 4th! No worries - there's no way I could kill off my (our) beloved Will/Liam. Enjoy the chapter ;)**

* * *

"_Yesterday-_

_All my troubles seemed so far away_

_Now it looks as though they're here to stay-_

_Oh, I believed in yesterday."_

_-The Beatles_

* * *

"Eighteen year old male, GSW to the chest, BP eight over forty and dropping, pulse sixty and falling fast."

The trauma team stood at the ready as the EMTs crashed through the swinging doors with Liam lying pale and still on the gurney, leaving his grief stricken parents in the hallway, Gavin a respectful few paces behind.

"I know that now isn't the time, Marshall, but I'm going to need a statement about what went down-"

"For the love of God, Gavin!" Mary whirled on him in fury. "My son is in there fighting for his life and you want Marshall to drop everything and give-"

"It's fine, Mary, it comes with the job."

She recoiled at the cold, detached tone of his voice. "Marshall-" she reached out for him but he shrugged away from her, not tearing his eyes away from the doors his son had disappeared behind. "Just let me get a status report on Will and I'll come find you, all right?"

"That will be fine, Marshall. Like I said, there's no hurry. I can wait a day-"

Mary snorted. "You should have said that in the first place."

Gavin ignored her. "I'm going to go check on Jessie's processing and then I'll be back to see if there's any word on Will. Mary," he pulled her aside. "Keep an eye on him," he nodded at Marshall. "I think he might be in shock."

_Take care of my Dad. _Will's words rang in her head and Mary shuddered. Marshall had kept his distance from her ever since she had arrived at the scene, insisting on riding with their son in the ambulance and not even meeting her eyes here in the corridor.

"I know – but I think he blames me for what happened."

Gavin placed a hand on her shoulder. "It's not your fault, Mary. Jessie is one troubled, grief stricken young lady-"

"But if I had been honest with him from the beginning and told him about the death threats-" Mary shook her head. "Forewarned is forearmed, Gavin."

"You've had quite a bit on your mind, Mary. Cut yourself some slack."

"That's kind of hard to do when your teenage son is fighting for his life. It should have been me, Gavin."

He squeezed her shoulder briefly before dropping his hand. "It has been you – you're just not used to being a mother."

She snorted. "I think that's the understatement of the century. I don't know how to do any of this – be married, have a family."

"I thought he gave you divorce papers?"

"He did but I haven't signed them."

Gavin tipped his head to the side. "Are you going to?"

"Family of William Mann?"

Mary whirled in time to see Marshall stepping forward to sign something and she hobbled over. "What is it – what's happening?"

"They're taking my – Will to emergency surgery."

"What for?" Mary frowned as she looked between Marshall and the doctor.

"Are you family?" the doctor pressed.

Marshall remained silent and Mary wanted to scream. Instead she nodded and whispered, "I'm his mother."

"Your son's left lung has collapsed and is filling with fluid. We need to re-inflate it, remove the bullet and drain the fluid."

Mary's heart beat faster. "So the bullet missed his heart?"

The doctor nodded. "Yes, that's the good news – but he's still in serious condition. I need to operate-"

Mary shooed him away. "Of course – go." She turned to Marshall, trying to get a read on his face. "But he'll be OK?"

"Barring infection, pneumonia, and other complications, he should be, yes," Marshall breathed out slowly as he leaned back against the wall, his eyes closing in relief.

She reached out to him and he jumped as her hand touched his. "Marshall, I-"

"Not now, OK, Mary? I need to make some calls – let the rest of our family know. And then Gavin wants to debrief me-"

"Marshall, please, don't shut me out."

His eyes opened and for a moment stared into hers with such deep longing that she ached to comfort him like she could have eighteen years ago. Mary involuntarily shuffled towards him, and he dipped his head, until she could feel the breath on her face. His lips had barely touched hers earlier in the burger palace and it had awakened so many feelings and memories her head was still spinning. It had left her hungry for more – more of him, more of them.

Marshall's eyes darted up to hers to see if she was sure, only to see that hers had fallen shut even as her lips fell slightly open. He remembered this look – even though he hadn't seen it in eighteen years. Part of him was still furious with her for not telling him about the death threats so that he could do a better job of protecting Will – but seeing her standing before him with an upturned face waiting for his kiss was quickly melting that fury into passion. She had always been able to do this to him – make him forget what he had been angry about in the first place by simply asking for a kiss.

Just like she was now –

He slowly lowered his lips to hers only to jerk back in surprise as her cell went off. She blushed furiously and fished it out of her jean shorts. "Sorry," she mumbled to him. "Yes? Raph, sorry. I meant to call sooner. Everything's taken care of – you can go on to your game. No, I can't explain now – when? I – oh – you're breaking up-" she hung up with the phone and turned back to Marshall with an apologetic smile.

Who was no longer there.

"Fuck!"

* * *

"Brandi, I need you calm down and listen to me-"

"How the hell am I supposed to do that, Marshall? First you call and tell me that Mary doesn't even remember her own son and now you're calling to tell me that Will's been shot and is in emergency surgery! How the fuck am I supposed to calm down? I feel like the floor's been pulled out from under me!" Brandi screamed at him through the phone.

Marshall pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "Get in line, Bee. Look, this has been a shock for all of us-"

"I'm sorry," Brandi sighed and Marshall was struck again by the differences between the two sisters. Mary would still be cursing and yelling into the phone but Brandi's storm was already passing – she couldn't stay upset long without her emotions morphing into sadness or forgiveness. "I'm just scared, you know? If anything ever happened to Will-"

"Hey," Marshall cut her off. "He's going to be OK – the bullet missed his heart and the doctor is operating right now. Maybe I should have waited to call but I thought you would have wanted to know-"

"No, I'm glad you called. I'm just sorry I'm so far away. I wish I could be there for you."

"Mary's here."

Brandi grunted. "Yeah, my sister who ran out on all of us years ago-"

"Bee, I really think you need to talk to her. She doesn't remember being married to me-"

"But she remembers having a sister, right?"

Marshall swallowed hard before whispering, "Yes."

"Then at the very least she knew she abandoned ME and I just don't know if I'm ready to hear any rationalizations she made to herself to make that OK."

"Look, you're only hurting yourself by not talking to her – Will's been right all these years. I needed to find her to talk to her about all of this so I could let her go – let us go – and you need to do the same."

"Marshall – I'm not going to get into a debate with you about my talking to Mary over the phone, all right? I'd much rather talk about my nephew. You said he's in surgery?"

"Yes – I'll call you when he's out to let you know how he's doing."

"You better – and I don't care what time it is – Stevie will most likely have me up anyway. Did you call Rosa?"

Marshall grimaced. "First call I made. She swore very colorfully in Spanish and then said she was going to church to light a candle and spend the night in prayer."

"That's our Rosa – what about Patti?"

"I thought I'd call Mom tomorrow when Will's out of surgery and in recovery. This is going to bring up flashbacks of Dad's death and I just want her to have one more good night's sleep before I tell her – is that crazy?"

"No, Marshall, it's not. You're a good son."

He snorted. "Yeah, except I broke her heart by not speaking to my father for the last eighteen years."

"You had your reasons."

He sighed. "I should go back inside – find Mary and see if there's an update on Will. I miss you, Bee. I wish you were here too."

"Marshall?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think-"

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, what is it?"

"Do you think Mary wants to see me?"

Marshall closed his eyes against the tears he felt forming behind his eyelids. He wanted nothing more than to reassure her, tell her that of course Mary wanted to see her. But the truth was he just didn't know.

"It's OK, you don't have to-" she sighed into the phone.

"No, Bee, wait. The truth is, I don't know. There's so much going on that Mary and I haven't even talked about you yet – about what happened to you after she left and where you are now. When things calm down a bit and I can tell her – yeah, I think she is going to want to see you."

"Oh –"

"And then you'll have a decision to make."

Brandi drew a deep breath. "Well, it's good I still have some time then. I love you, Marshall."

"Love you too, Bee."

* * *

_What the hell were you thinking? He may be your husband – but you haven't seen him in eighteen years! And then when he shows up with your son, you practically fall into his arms and beg him to kiss you! What the hell, Mary?_

She shook her head as she lit the candle in front of her and placed the long match in the small cup of water at the side of the altar to extinguish it. Making the sign of the cross, one of her hands clasped the small medal around her neck as she bowed her head and attempted to focus her thoughts on the reason she had come to the chapel: her son, Will. The very thought that upstairs she had a teenage son fighting for his life was terrifying and thrilling at the same time. Mary had never wanted to be a mother. She had done the best she could to provide for Squish as they were growing up but deep down she had sworn that she would one day be free from that responsibility and never look back.

And then she had met Marshall Mann – and her whole outlook on life had changed. Not only was he different from any other boy she had previously dated, but he somehow managed to restore her faith in the male sex in general. Ever since her father had packed up and abandoned their family when she was barely seven years old, Mary had never trusted men. But Marshall was different – he got under her skin with the way he constantly wanted to know what she thinking and feeling, and how he never broke their dates when she told him that Brandi had to come with them. Before she knew it, Mary was as crazy about him as her little sister was – though she was more careful to hide her emotions – because having been left had taught her it was never a good thing to let people know how much one cared. Suddenly, she had a family – Marshall, Brandi, and she were a family and she would do anything to protect it.

Mary frowned. _Then what the hell happened? If I got pregnant with Will on our honeymoon and had someone else to love and protect, there is no way in hell I would have up and left! I finally had someone who loved me for me and had promised not to leave-_

"I'm not interrupting your prayers, am I?" Marshall whispered as he slipped onto the prayer bench next to her, dropping to his knees with a practiced ease.

Mary's hand slipped from her medal as her eyes flew open in surprise. "Shit-"

"Language, Mer," he chuckled. "We're in God's house, remember?"

She frowned at him. "How do you know I wasn't going to tell you to lower your voice?"

He arched an eyebrow. "I was already whispering-"

"Jacka-"

He lifted a finger and placed it over her lips. Mary tried hard to suppress the shudder of warmth that coursed through her but he felt it and frowned. "Are you cold?"

"A little." She moved back on the bench to her heels, but he cupped her elbows. "Marshall-"

"Where are your crutches?"

She swallowed. "I left them in Gavin's car."

"Mary-" he ground the word out between clenched teeth.

She rocked to her feet. "What would you have me do? I couldn't very well hold my gun and my crutches, could I?"

He growled as he stood and swept her up into his arms bridal style. "Doesn't anyone look after you? Do you want to walk with a limp for the rest of your life?" He walked over to the front pew and sat down, looking at her for a long moment before shifting her out of his lap to sit beside him.

"I wasn't thinking about my foot, Marshall. It was the last thing on my mind – I was only thinking about getting to you and Will." She paused to clear her throat. "I know you blame me for our son getting shot-" she held up a hand when he tried to speak. "Don't deny it – you were furious with me and you have every right. It should be me up there, not Will. I should have told you about Jessie so you could have protected him – and that's my fault too. I didn't take the threats seriously – I've never taken the threats seriously. But I need you to hear me: from here on out, I'm going to take each and every one seriously, OK? I have a family now and yes, I would die to protect that family, but I don't want them dying to protect me-"

Marshall's hands framed her face. "Stop – just stop, all right?" He moved his hands to the back of her neck, pulling her into his chest. "I – I was so scared, Mary. When we were in that room with Jessie, for the first time, I was scared. I've been in life and death situations before – but never with my son by my side. All I could think about was getting him out of there, getting that gun out of Jessie's hand before you got there. For a moment, I thought it was going to work out – but then you came and she fired – but not before Will stepped in front of me-" Marshall broke off, the tears once again breaking free to run down his cheeks.

"Oh, Marshall-" Mary shuddered against him. "He took the bullet for you? I – I'm so-"

"Hush," Marshall tangled his fingers in her hair. "He's going to be OK – we have to hang onto that."

She pulled back enough to see his eyes. "And each other."

"Mary-" he breathed softly.

"No, Marshall. Don't push me away – Will asked me to take care of you, remember?"

"I think that just meant for you to make sure I slept and ate – Will's a worrywart when it comes to me. He thinks I'll blame myself the whole time he's unconscious and not take care of myself-"

"And won't you?"

Marshall sighed and dropped his head, his forehead touching hers briefly. "No, he's right, I will. But not eating or sleeping for a bit won't hurt me –"

"Marshall, I'm not going to deal with our son's wrath when he wakes up and you look like shit-"

"Language, Mer-"

"F-"

"Mary!"

She smiled. "Let's go back upstairs and wait for word on Will. Then I'll grab us some takeout while you talk to Gavin – sound good?"

Marshall smothered a yawn and nodded.

"And then we'll see about getting some sleep."

"I'm not leaving him, Mer."

She touched his cheek. "I know that, Marshall. I'm going to talk to the nurses and see what they can do – unless you want to sleep in the uncomfortable plastic chair by his bedside all night?"

"I didn't think there was another option – certainly not a comfortable one."

She grinned. "Oh, I don't know if it will be comfortable – but there's another option."

* * *

Mary opened her eyes and stared at the face of the man sleeping not more than three feet away from her, and reached out to push back a lock of hair that had fallen over his eyes.

"Mary," he sighed in his sleep.

Warmth spread from her fingers to her toes as she realized he was dreaming about her and she quickly withdrew her hand, not wanting him to wake up and see her there, staring at him.

The nurses had set up two cots in the ICU waiting room and even though they had the entire place to themselves, Marshall had placed them side by side, with only a narrow aisle in between. Mary hadn't protested; she didn't want to be that far from him either. Being close to him gave her comfort and strength to make it through this dark night. Will had come through his surgery without any complications but the doctor had placed him in ICU overnight on a ventilator as a precaution. Now it was just a waiting game. Mary had held Marshall's hand until he had fallen into a fitful sleep, before kissing the back of it softly and placing it on his chest and moving to her own cot.

Now she guessed it was sometime in the early morning hours and she was still restless. Having gotten no sleep the night before coupled with gaining and nearly losing her son all within the same twenty-four hour period had been too much and now the tears were flowing thick and fast, the sobs getting stuck in her throat.

"Mary."

She buried her head deeper into the flat pillow the hospital had provided not wanting to meet his eyes – knowing that he was hurting as much as she, more in fact since he had raised Will. What right did she have to cry over something she had never had?

"Mary, look at me."

She'd never been able to refuse that tone of voice. Mary rolled over and locked eyes with Marshall.

"Did the doctor come in with news?"

She shook her head.

"Then what is it?"

She bit her lip. "I – I-"

He held out his hand in the space between their cots and she placed one of her hands in his. "I nearly lost my son before I got to know him."

Marshall's eyes grew shiny as he pulled on her arm. "Come here."

"What about my ankle?"

"Screw your ankle, Mary. If you want me to hold you, you're going to have to come here because sleeping in this cot has broken my back."

She withdrew her hand as she swung her legs over the side of her cot. "Who says I want you to hold me?"

Blue eyes stared into green. "Don't you?"

Mary didn't answer as she stood on her good foot and hopped two steps before she flopped ungracefully across his upper body, Marshall catching her in his arms.

"Watch the hands, Mer."

"Oops, sorry."

He pulled her against his chest and leaned back as she wrapped an arm around his waist and lowered her head, listening to his heartbeat.

"We're supposed to have the close calls, not our son," Mary murmured into his chest. "It's part of our job."

"Do you think Will would be any less devastated if it was you lying in there instead of him?" Marshall whispered, as he ran a hand through her hair.

"No," Mary swallowed.

"He's been where we are, Mer. I nearly died – I nearly left him without a father – and he didn't have you in his life at that point," Marshall's fingers were caressing her scalp. "I fought to come back to him and I know he'll fight to come back to us. Our kid's a fighter – how can he not be with parents like us?"

Her eyes drifted shut. "How can you still be such an optimist?"

Marshall smiled. "That's easy – I had Will. The glass is always half full with that kid."

"Hmm, he must get that from you-"

"Go to sleep, Mary. I promise I'll wake you the second the doctor says we can see Will."

"You better." She snuggled deeper into his chest and Marshall listened to her breathing get deeper and even out.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her temple. "Sweet dreams, Mer."

"Hmm, Marshall. I love you."

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, I did it again - I left you hanging. But I've got you wanting more, yes? Reviews are LOVE!**


	13. There's a way

**A/N: Just a reminder that M&amp;M's son is named William - but he thinks of himself as Liam (and his friends call him that too). Enjoy this next chapter - and I promise, we'll get back to Seth's letter soon!**

**Strong T warning for suggestive language in the flashback scene.**

* * *

Going back to sleep was out of the question now.

Marshall hadn't held his wife in his arms in over eighteen years – how could it still feel so right? Her head still fit perfectly under his chin and her breath was tickling the fine hairs of his chest through the thin T-shirt he was wearing. When he had awoken a few minutes ago to her muffled sobs, he had tried to get up, but his back had protested. Sleeping in a collapsible cot that was more of a hammock with legs had done a number on his muscles and he was momentarily paralyzed. He had been surprised that she had come to him so easily, with only a quick protest that he had thrown back – and the next thing he knew, she was falling into him.

Mary sighed in her sleep, her arm tightening around his waist, her lips brushing across his T-shirt. He looked down as he smoothed her hair back, his throat working as he noticed that her face was still wet from her tears. This had been a very common occurrence at the end – Mary had often cried herself to sleep in his arms during her pregnancy and after they had brought Will home from the hospital. Nothing he had said or done seemed to make any difference – in fact, Mary would often push him away, swearing that if he ever touched her again she would cut off his manhood. So Marshall would give up and go to bed only to wake up a few hours later to find her sobbing in his arms, telling him she didn't mean it and begging for him to hold her.

Marshall cupped her cheek and she snuggled into his touch. _How can we still be so in sync when we've been apart for so long? This feels so right, holding you in my arms, being comforted as we wait for word on Will. But it's not real – is it? There is no us, not anymore. Not like there used to be._

* * *

_**June 1995**_

_Thunder boomed overhead and awoke Marshall from the post coital slumber he had fallen into. His hand reached out and searched the space next to him and finding it empty, his eyes opened the rest of the way, searching the darkened motel room._

"_Mary?" he whispered, as lightning flashed and illuminated the space, and his gaze fell on his bride standing by the window staring out at the storm, clad in his white dress shirt. He slipped from the bed, stopping only to pull on his discarded boxers before he crossed to her side. "What is it? Is something wrong?" he whispered in her ear as he pulled her back into him._

_Mary stiffened before letting herself melt into his embrace, shaking her head. "I'm fine, Marshall."_

_He sighed. "Don't push me away, Mer."_

"_I'm not-"_

"_Then tell me what's bugging you."_

"_Nothing-"_

_He whipped her around to face him. "Bull shit," he said softly, lifting a hand to wipe away a tear. "You're crying on our wedding night – so something's wrong." A look of horror crossed his face. "God, Mary – did I hurt you? Or did I do something wrong? I've never done it before and-"_

"_Hush." She lifted a hand and placed it over his mouth. "You didn't hurt me and you didn't do anything wrong."_

_He kissed her hand before removing it. "Then what-?"_

_She shrugged. "I'm not sure if I can explain it – you're better with words than I am."_

"_Try."_

"_Well, you know I've had sex before – not as much as some people think but- I know where everything goes and I do enjoy-"_

"_Mary, if you're trying to tell me about your previous sexual experiences, I'd really rather not hear about them. I mean, I may seem easy going, but thinking of you with other guys – letting them –"_

_She shook her head as she stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him, long and deep and slow. "No, that's not what I'm trying to say."_

_Marshall blinked. "Hmm? What were we talking about? You kiss me like that and I can't even remember my own name."_

_She laughed. "You're such a Doofus."_

_He cupped her cheek. "What are you trying to say?"_

"_Well, the sex with the other guys was nice – but with you it was different – it was- well -" she blundered to a stop, biting her lip and dropping her eyes._

"_Oh God," Marshall swallowed as he released her cheek and backed up. "I did do something wrong – I let you down. I'm so sorry, Mary. It was my first time and here you were expecting fireworks and confetti and bells and whistles and you probably didn't even orgasm, did you?" he began to pace. "I'll make it up to you, I swear. Next time will be all about you and-"he broke off when he heard Mary's laughter. "What the hell is so funny?"_

"_You – do you have any idea how adorable you are when you start freaking out and get all babbly and –" she broke off, sobering at the expression on his face. _

"_Babbly? You make me sound like a brook!" He crossed his arms over his bare chest._

_She sighed. "I know I'm not explaining this very well – but it would help if you wouldn't interrupt me, OK?"_

_He nodded._

"_Different doesn't always mean 'bad', Marshall – or that you let me down. I felt something with you tonight that I've never felt before with anyone else and it scared the crap out of me." Mary was shaking and Marshall began to close the distance between them. "Something that went beyond sex –"_

_He cupped her face in his hands. "That's because we made love, Mer. You and I connected on the most intimate level possible and for the first time you let me all the way in." He dropped a kiss on her forehead. "I love you, Mary Shannon Mann."_

_She knocked his hands away as she threw herself into his arms. "I still can't believe we got married! Your father is going to kill us."_

_He chuckled in her ear. "Can we worry about that tomorrow? This is our honeymoon – I don't want anyone or anything to ruin that."_

_She pulled back to look in his eyes. "Do you have any ideas how to do that now that we're both awake?"_

_His fingers reached out and began to undo the buttons on his shirt. "Do you think we can both fit in the bathtub?"_

"_Never know until we try," she winked and ran, leaving him holding nothing but the shirt._

* * *

Marshall blinked the memory away. They had been so young – it was amazing to think that their son was now the same age they were when they got married. And now instead of enjoying his last summer before college at home with Juliet and the rest of his family, Will was in ICU recovering from a gunshot wound. Life really wasn't fair.

_Marshall, I love you._

Had she been dreaming when she'd spoken those words? Did it matter? She'd never said them to him all those years ago, awake or asleep, so why did she say them now? Did she mean it? Or was she just offering them up as a form of friendship – as a way of getting them through this crisis? Marshall shook his head. That wasn't who Mary was. She didn't say anything she didn't mean. Perhaps that's why she'd never said the words to him in the first place, because even though she'd cared for him deeply, she'd never loved him; he'd made her feel safe, secure, and loved and she hadn't wanted to lose that. She hadn't wanted to lose her best friend – her only friend. That's why they'd gotten married in the first place and then she'd gotten pregnant with Will and that's why she'd stayed with him. Who knows what would have happened if she'd never gotten pregnant. Perhaps they would have gotten divorced much sooner.

With all these thoughts swirling around in his brain, Marshall drifted into a restless sleep, still holding his estranged wife.

* * *

"_Come in."_

"_Mom, Dad wanted me to tell you that everyone's here, so whenever you're-" Liam paused when he saw his Mom for the first time._

"_What? What's wrong?"_

_He shook his head. "You look beautiful."_

_Mary blushed as she crossed the room to squeeze his hand. "Do you think your Dad will like it? I mean, it's not a wedding dress but I wanted to dress up a little for him – and Brandi and I found this downtown."_

"_Dad will love it – he loves you in yellow."_

_Mary smiled. "I know – I was wearing yellow on our first wedding day."_

_Liam started. "You remember?"_

_Mary looked in the mirror to brush back some of her hair. "How could a girl forget what she was wearing on her wedding day?"_

_He frowned. Something was wrong here but he couldn't put his finger on it. "Are you ready?"_

"_I need another five minutes or so – Brandi has disappeared on me and she's coming back to finish my hair."_

"_It looks fine to me-"_

_Mary laughed as she reached out and cupped his cheek. "Oh, you men think our hair looks fine if all we do is run a comb through it!"_

"_Mom, are you OK?"_

"_I'm fine – now scoot. Go tell your Dad we'll be ready in a few minutes and then I'll text you when I need you to come back here for our walk down the aisle, all right?"_

"_OK." Liam leaned in and kissed her cheek. "I love you, Mom."_

"_Love you too," she sniffled and pushed him away. "Now scoot before you ruin my makeup."_

"_You're wearing makeup!"_

"_Shh! It's a secret – and only for today," Mary sighed as she pushed him out the door._

_Liam found himself in the backyard but none of the guests had seen his father – not since he had left in the company of an unknown young woman._

"_What woman?"_

_But no one knew who she was – she had evidently crashed the ceremony for some purpose known only to her. The panic was growing inside of Liam with every passing minute and he decided to go back and check on his mom. Suddenly there was his dad standing in front of his mom, shielding her from a strange young woman holding a gun._

"_I don't want to hurt anyone – I just want the Lady Marshal."_

_His Dad's hands were spread out in a pleading gesture. "Put down the gun, Jessie- and we'll talk."_

_Jessie shook her head. "My business is with her alone."_

"_She's my wife – so your business is with me as well."_

_Liam felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to look into the eyes of his Uncle Stan. "Do something! Before-"_

"_MARY!"_

_Brandi's scream split the air and Jessie's finger twitched on the trigger. The gun went off and Marshall fell to the floor, bleeding from the chest. _

"_NO!" Mary and Liam screamed together. Mary cradled Marshall in her arms as Liam ran and fell at his Dad's feet._

"_Dad, Dad, please! Don't leave us – not now! We're finally a family again – please!"_

_Marshall's eyes fluttered open and focused on him. "Will-"_

"_Dad-" Liam grasped his hand tightly._

"_Take care – of - your mom-"_

"_No! Dad, that's your job! Don't leave us!"_

"_Mary-"_

_She caressed his cheek. "Yes, my love?"_

"_Take care – of him-"_

"_I promise." She vowed. "I love you-" she choked._

"_Dad, no!"_

"_Will – love you-"_

* * *

Liam's eyes flew open, his heart pounding in his chest, his eyes frantically searching the unfamiliar room.

_Dad, where's Dad?_

He tried to form the words but something was blocking them and he lifted his hands only to feel the mask and tube from the ventilator. Clawing at them in frustration, he managed to work one side of the mask free, setting off an alarm that brought a nurse running into the room.

"Mr. Mann, I need you to calm down, please! Don't pull on that – it's there as a precaution to help you breathe."

The words barely registered as Liam continued to struggle. _Dad's not dead – he's not!_

Using her upper body to keep her patient in the bed, the nurse leaned over and pressed the intercom button. "I need some help in room 214 – and send someone for Mr. Mann's family."

* * *

Marshall had woken twenty minutes ago with an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Since becoming a father, he had never slept soundly. The slightest sound from Will's room or from the street outside would have him sitting up in bed, reaching for the gun he always kept under his pillow. Usually the uneasiness passed after checking on Will and making sure his son was sleeping peacefully. Sometimes he was and sometimes he wasn't – having been awakened from a nightmare and trying to be brave, Will often stayed in his room alone to try and fall back asleep. Marshall would sit on the floor and tell him stories until Will would drift back to sleep and he would sit and watch his son for awhile before tiptoeing back to his own room.

Since his son was in ICU, checking on him wasn't possible – but his fatherly intuition was in overdrive and he knew that Will would be waking up soon. Marshall needed to get moving. He glanced down to see that Mary was still asleep and he hoped that she still slept soundly. Taking a deep breath, he rolled to his stomach, taking her with him, so she was on her back and he was on top. He briefly straddled her hips to keep his weight off her, and recited the periodic table of elements in his head to keep from thinking about how good this position felt.

"Hmm, Marshall," she sighed in her sleep, moving slightly under him.

_God, she's trying to kill me. _Her tank top had ridden up while she slept and was now resting under her breasts, showing off her tanned and tight abdomen. Marshall was fighting his libido's urge to lean down and place a kiss right above-

"Mr. Mann?"

Marshall yelped and rolled to the side – right off the cot. He felt his back pop as he landed on the hard surface and he groaned, wondering if he'd be able to get up anytime soon. The commotion had awoken Mary, who was sitting up on the cot, rubbing her eyes.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"It's your son-"

Marshall bit the inside of his cheek to hold in a moan as he climbed to his feet. "Is he awake?"

The nurse nodded. "Yes, and he's extremely agitated – he's trying to rip out his breathing tube and we can't seem to get him to calm down. We thought maybe you-"

Mary swung her legs over the side and frowned at her cast. "You go on – I'll catch up."

Marshall growled. "Screw that-" he bent and scooped her into his arms bridal style. "Lead on."

The nurse set a fast pace that Marshall's long legs easily kept up with and Mary was glad she wasn't on foot. She wound her arms around his neck and held on tight.

When they got to Will's room, they could hear the commotion going on inside and Marshall set her down in the hall as she shooed him inside. Marshall paused to give her an indescribable look before running inside.

"William, I understand you want the tube out, but I need you calm down first. I can't remove it with you in this agitated state."

Marshall barely acknowledged the presence of two orderlies holding his son down or the doctor trying to soothe him as he strode into the room and went straight to his son.

"Will."

Liam was still struggling so hard that he didn't hear his father's voice so Marshall took his son's face in his hands and directed his gaze to his own face. "William Marshall Mann – look at me."

Marshall watched as his son's eyes widened in shock and then the tears overflowed, falling so fast his thumbs couldn't wipe them all away. "Shh, my boy. I'm here, I'm here."

Liam made a choking sound in his throat and Marshall sat beside him on the bed so he could cradle his son in his arms. "As soon as you calm down, the doctor can take the tube out, all right?" He felt Will nod against his chest and Marshall sighed. He knew what had happened. Having been shot himself he knew the nightmares that plagued one's sleep afterward.

It took a few minutes for the emotional storm to pass but when he felt Will go limp in his arms, Marshall looked up and nodded at the doctor. He held his son down as the doctor pulled the tube out, trying not to wince as Will gagged.

"Dad," Liam rasped. "You OK?"

Marshall smiled. "I'm fine – you're the one that got shot, remember?"

Liam frowned before shaking his head. "Things – fuzzy," he choked out.

"I know," he nodded. "Don't worry, it will come back – probably more clearly than you want it to."

"Am I OK?"

Marshall squeezed his son's hand. "You're going to be just fine – and you'll have a cool scar that will impress all the girls."

"Like – yours?"

"I don't know about that. And I don't want you to ever get as many scars as I have-"

"Amen to that."

Liam's eyes swung to the doorway and noticed Mary for the first time. "How long have you been standing there?"

"I came with your dad-"

He coughed. "Great – so you saw – my freak out-"

"Hey," she protested as she limped into the room. "Cut yourself some slack, Kid. You've been held hostage and shot –"

"But you and Dad-"

"Are trained for it – you are a normal eighteen year old boy, who should only be worrying about packing up for college in the fall. So under the circumstances, I think you're allowed a little freak out, OK?"

Liam smiled. "OK." His eyes slipped shut and his breathing evened out.

Marshall bumped her shoulder with his. "Good job, Mom."

Mary frowned. "What? What did I do?"

"You calmed his fears – and now he's sleeping peacefully."

"But I didn't do anything-"

He stood and placed a finger across her lips. "You helped him see that what he experienced wasn't normal for HIM, and therefore it was OK to fall apart."

She sighed. "And that was helping?"

He nodded down at their sleeping son. "Look – he's sleeping and smiling, isn't he?"

She nodded slowly, biting her lower lip. "Is this what it feels like?"

"What?" he whispered.

"Being a parent?"

He nodded, the lump of emotion in his throat preventing him from speaking.

"I want more time – how do I rewind the clock so that he doesn't go away to college in the fall?"

Marshall chuckled. "Rosa and I have been trying to figure that out for months. If you find the answer, let us know."

Mary leaned down and brushed her lips across Will's forehead. "I'm not leaving him again, Marshall."

"What are you saying, Mary? Are you going to follow him to Harvard? I don't think he'll like having his mother for a roommate."

"That's not what I'm saying. But it will be too hard on him if I'm here in Florida and you're in Albuquerque – he'll have to divide his time between us and I don't want that, do you?"

"No, but what other alternative is there?"

"I could move to Albuquerque."

* * *

**A/N: Whoa - even I didn't see that coming! Reviews are LOVE.**


	14. Love

**A/N: So, about this chapter: I know that there are plenty of Raph-bashing fics on the site but I actually liked the character (not to mention the actor - YUM), but not with Mary. He wasn't right for her, for obvious reasons. That aside, in this universe, his character is a bit darker and he's still not right for her. So, again the strong T warning for the first part of this chapter. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Twenty-four hours later**

Raph unlocked the front door and stepped into the house calling out for Mary as he shut the door behind him. He waited for an answer but when only silence met him, he threw the keys on the table and moved into the living room, coming to a halt when he saw the half-packed boxes. A knot of dread began to form in his stomach as he went over to examine the contents but to his surprise, he found the box contained some of Mary's winter clothing, not his. Raph's brow knit in confusion. _Is she moving out? Why didn't she tell me? _He noticed a notepad with one of her infamous lists sitting on the coffee table and he picked it up.

_1\. Call realtor about listing_

_2\. Pick up boxes from U-Haul_

_3\. Talk to Gavin_

_4\. Talk to Raph_

Raph sank onto the couch behind him. _Fourth? I'm fourth? We were on our way to Atlantic City to get married and now she's moving to God only knows where and I'm fourth on her list?_

The rage boiled up inside of him and for the next several minutes he tried hard to calm down. He hadn't heard from her since that hurried phone call yesterday and so today he'd finally called her boss, who had been a little more forthcoming with information. Her son had been shot and Mary was staying with him at the hospital while he recovered. Raph wanted to do something nice for her – bring her a couple of changes of clothes, maybe some food. He knew that she would be focused on the kid and not herself. And yeah, maybe, just maybe, she would be happy to see him too.

But he didn't expect to show up and find boxes and a list that included her planning to tell him that she was moving. This could only have something to do with Marshall – the long lost husband. He must have said or done something. Raph knew that that guy had been up to no good – he knew it! The rage was building again as he stood and moved towards his and Mary's room. He wouldn't let this change his plans. He could still make a care package, swing by the hospital and-

Raph stopped in the bedroom doorway as his eyes landed on Mary's sleeping form. She was curled up on her side, wearing a light blue tank top and panties, her hair still damp from a shower, her body curled around a pillow. He knew she must be exhausted not to have heard him come in, calling for her. She always slept like the dead – he used to joke that a hurricane could hit the coast and she'd sleep right through it. Toeing off his tennis shoes, he undid the snap of his jeans and slid them down his hips. Moving as quietly as possible, Raph slid into bed behind her, wrapping an arm around her, letting a hand slip under the thin material of her top.

"Mm, Marshall," Mary sighed into her pillow.

Raph cursed. _She thinks I am her husband? She dreams of him? I think you need to remember who you belong to, Querida. You are mine._

He growled as he rolled her to her back and began raining kisses on her skin.

* * *

Mary was having the most wonderful dream. Marshall was kissing and licking every inch of her skin, igniting a fire inside of her that she hadn't felt in – well, ever. She reached up and gripped the back of his head, holding him to her.

"Don't stop," she moaned.

"I wasn't going to."

She frowned. The voice was wrong – and as her eyes fluttered open she saw that the hair was too dark to be Marshall's. "Who-" she tried to move her hands, only to hear a soft clinking sound. Looking up, she saw that her hands were cuffed to the headboard and wrapped in her tank top. Swallowing a sense of panic, she looked back down into Raph's lustful gaze. "Get off me."

"That's not what you said a minute ago-"

She squirmed but Raph was using his full body weight to pin her to the bed. "I wasn't talking to you, asshole!"

He nipped at the skin next to her navel. "There's no one else here, Mary. It's just you and me-"

Mary huffed out a breath. "Great, me alone with a psycho – listen, numb nuts. I meant what I said before: you and I are not having sex."

Raph rested his head on her stomach. "You seemed more than willing-"

"I was asleep! And I wasn't talking to you! I was-"

"What? Dreaming of your husband? Tell me, Mary, how long did you wait after you kicked me out to fuck him? An hour?"

She screamed and tried to lift her casted foot but he surged up her body until his face was next to hers, his breath hot in face.

"Does Marshall know what a whore you are?"

There was a metallic click as a gun was pressed to the back of Raph's head. "Get – off – my – wife."

Mary's eyes met Marshall's as Raph rolled off her and sneered up at him. "Oh look, Daddy's home."

Marshall pointed his gun between Raph's eyes. "You have five minutes to get dressed, give me the key to this house, and get out."

"Or what?"

"Or I call Gavin, who calls local law enforcement and you're arrested for the attempted rape and assault of a Federal Marshal. I have a funny feeling something will happen to your baseball career, not to mention your VISA, Rameriz."

Raph leapt from the bed. "You don't have that kind of pull, Mann."

Marshall grinned. "Try me."

Raph got dressed, muttering curses and derogatory names in Spanish that Marshall was glad Mary didn't understand. He followed Raph to the front door and scooped up a set of keys from the front table. "Do you have another copy?"

"No."

"I hope not, for your sake. I'd hate to file a restraining order."

"What would be the point? She's moving, isn't she?"

Marshall didn't answer as he opened the door. "Good luck with the career."

Raph grunted. "Good luck with her."

Marshall slammed the door shut behind him and for a moment stood there, trying to get his pounding heart under control. Finally he flipped the safety on and tucked the gun into the back of his jeans as he returned to the bedroom. Mary was staring at the ceiling and didn't respond when he came inside. He crossed swiftly to the bed and flipped the covers over her, hiding her naked flesh from his gaze.

He cleared his throat. "Where's the key?"

"In the drawer of the nightstand."

He found the tiny key and within a minute had her free. Trying not to wince at the red lines, Marshall sat on the edge of the bed and massaged her wrists. Her silence was worrying him, as were the tears that were slipping from her eyes, down her temples and into her hair.

"Mary? Did he hurt you?"

She shook her head.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "I'm just – if you hadn't come – he might have – Marshall, please-" her voice broke as she sat up suddenly, throwing her arms around his neck.

He felt his breath catch as he realized the covers had slipped and her naked chest was pressed against his – but then that thought faded away as Mary began to sob. For the second time in twenty-four hours, his wife was crying in his arms. He pulled her into him and let her tears soak his shirt, grateful that he was here to comfort her, grateful that he had gotten back in time to save her from being raped. When he had opened the front door and heard her scream, his heart had stopped.

After a while, she began to speak softly against him. "We go through all this training – self defense and martial arts – to protect ourselves so I never thought I'd be in a situation like that. I honestly thought I'd be able to fight my way out of it. Even when I woke up and he was on top of me, I wasn't overly worried. I thought I could talk him down, and if that didn't work, I'd use my training," she sighed. "But he'd already cuffed me and with my injury and his added weight-" she gulped back a sob.

"Hush, Mer, none of it is your fault, all right? You said no and he didn't listen – and you did fight long enough for me to get here."

"I just didn't have the leverage this time to knee him in the groin like last time."

"Last time?" Marshall repeated hoarsely. He pushed her away so he could study her face. "He's done this before? Shit, Mary-"

"Not like this, Marshall, calm down. It was just after Will showed up and Raph got drunk and he tried to initiate sex. I said no and-"

"Let me guess: he didn't take it well. Fuck, I'm going to-" Marshall made a move to stand but Mary gripped his arms.

"Whoa there, String Bean, you're not going to do anything! You've done enough tonight – coming in with guns blazing and marching him off the reservation. Where did you get the piece, anyway?"

"It's Gavin's backup- and don't try to distract me. Mary, listen to me. Is this the way things worked between the two of you? Did he ever-"

"No! Raph never raped me, Marshall."

"But did he ever do things you weren't comfortable with – have sex with you while you were sleeping? Or you said no and he pushed and eventually you gave in because it was easier than fighting him off?"

Mary's eyes fell to the bed and her silence was all the confirmation he needed. "I'm going to kill him."

"No! Please, Will needs you and if you're in jail for murder –" she collapsed back on his chest. "Marshall, I know I don't remember being married to you or being a mother – at least not yet. But I do know that you taught me what love was-" she swallowed. "And I guess I've been looking for it ever since. My relationship with Raph came the closest but he – yes, he hurt me on occasion but I didn't tell him so how was he to know?"

Marshall groaned deep in his throat as he pulled Mary's head back and kissed her forehead. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Love me?"

He recoiled in shock. "What?"

"Please? I – I need you, Marshall. Help me forget what happened tonight."

_Oh, you still don't play fair, Mary Shannon Mann. _He leaned his forehead against hers. "I can't – not tonight."

"Why not?"

He ran a hand down the side of her face. "Because there's still so much we need to figure out – so many answers we need to find. When we come together, I want there to be no more questions between us."

She sighed. "I was afraid you were going to say-"

"What?"

"Nothing."

He frowned. "What is it? Tell me?"

"I thought you were going to say you couldn't because you don't love me anymore- I mean you said as much on the beach-"

Marshall looked at her in silence for a moment before chuckling. "I lied."

Her mouth fell open. "You lied – why?"

"I hadn't seen you in eighteen years and you were engaged to another man and you ask me why I lied about my true feelings for you?"

She smiled. "I see your point. So, you do love me?"

He cupped her face in his hands. "I never stopped, Mer."

"Kiss me."

"Ma –ry-"

"I know the other is off limits right now, but what's wrong with one little kiss? We kissed in the hospital and-"

Her words were cut off as his lips met hers and Mary sighed at the sensation. Lips that were warm, soft and invoked a feeling in her she had never felt with any other man. She bit his lower lip gently and Marshall opened his mouth to her with a moan and she pushed her tongue inside to play with his. Her hands were in his hair and his were running up and down her spine, giving her delicious chills. He broke their connection suddenly, leaning away from her with darkened eyes, panting softly.

"I need to stop now before I can't."

She laughed and leaned in for another quick peck but he turned his head and her lips landed on his cheek. She pouted and lay back on the bed.

He shook his finger at her as he flipped the covers up and over her body. "Try and get some more sleep."

She frowned and repressed a shudder. "I don't think I can-"

He leaned over her and trailed a line of kisses from her mouth to her earlobe. "Sure you can, just think of me."

"Mm," she smiled as she rolled and clutched a pillow. "That's what I was doing before I was so rudely awakened."

"Really? Do tell."

She opened one eye and smiled at him. "A girl has to have some secrets, Mr. Mann."

He brushed one last kiss against her cheek. "Sweet dreams, my love."

* * *

"Yes, Bee, I swear that Will is doing just fine. He's got a long road of recovery ahead of him but-" Marshall turned as he heard a sound behind him and saw Mary standing behind him, her face pale. "I have to go – no, everything's fine. I love you too." He hung up his cell and crossed swiftly to her side, placing a hand at her hip. "Mary, what is it?"

"Who was that on the phone?"

_Shit – we haven't gotten to Brandi yet. _He took a deep breath. "Your sister."

Her eyes met his. "You know where she is?"

He frowned. "Of course-"

Her fingers clutched his arm, the nails digging into the skin like talons. "Where? Where is she?"

"Brandi's at home – in Albuquerque, with her husband Peter and her baby boy, Stevie."

Mary blinked back the emotion. "She has a family? You've stayed in touch with her all these years?"

He gently pried her fingers loose and took her hand in his. "Where did you think she was?"

"I didn't know-" she hobbled with him over to the couch and sat down. "After I regained my memory, I had Sister Agnes contact her sisters in Middletown. That's when I found out that Jinx was dead and Squish had been adopted – but it was a closed adoption and she couldn't find out anymore than that."

"But surely after you became a Marshal you could have found out where she was, just like I found out where you were?" Marshall pressed her.

Mary shook her head. "By the time I'd found and dealt with Dad, it had been years, Marshall. I wanted Brandi to be happy – and I hoped that she had a family who would love her and give her the life I would never be able to."

"That's ridiculous!" Marshall shook his head. "You're her sister! She mourned for you like you were dead, Mary! She cried herself to sleep for a year – do you know that? She blamed herself for your leaving – she thought she'd done something-" he broke off as the emotion clogged his throat.

"How do you know all this?"

"Because my parents were the ones that adopted her."

Mary dropped his hand in shock. "Seth adopted Brandi? I – I don't believe it."

Marshall shrugged. "It took some pleading on my mom's part and I think he did it hoping it would bridge the gap between us – but yeah, Brandi's my adopted little sister."

"Can I – do you have any pictures?"

Marshall nodded as he pulled out his phone and scrolled through his photos. "Here – these are the most recent."

Mary held the phone in her trembling hands, her finger scrolling through the images, stopping on one of Brandi, Marshall, and Stevie. "What's the baby's name?"

"Stephen Edward Alpert."

Mary smiled. "She named him after you-"

"And his father, Peter Edward."

"But his first name is Stephen."

Marshall flushed uncomfortably. "Yes."

"I think she still has a bit of a crush on you-"

He shook his head. "No, she's completely in love with Peter. But we're very close. She's the little sister I never had. She followed Will and me to New Mexico after she graduated high school and went to NMU for nursing."

She looked at him in shock. "Brandi's a nurse?"

"Labor and delivery – she loves her job."

"I don't believe it. Squish hated the sight of blood as a child."

"She's still not fond of it – but she says she doesn't even notice the blood when she's helping doctors bring babies into the world."

Mary stared at the picture in her hands. "I guess my baby sister really grew up then, huh?"

Marshall remained silent.

"How much does she hate me?"

"She doesn't hate you, Mer. She's – hurt, mad, scared of getting hurt if you disappear again."

Her eyes met his. "So how do I reassure her that I'm here to stay and that I'm sorry?"

"Time – just give her time." He glanced at the clock. "Speaking of time, I need to get back to the hospital. Are you up to coming or-"

"I'm coming."

* * *

They went to ICU first but were told that William had been doing so well that he had been moved to the fourth floor. Mary grumbled and Marshall asked if he should get her a wheelchair, but she just stuck her tongue out and hobbled after him. When she nearly stumbled getting out of the elevator, he swept her up into his arms.

"Put me down! I can walk."

"You forgot your crutches again, Mer. I'm trying to keep you from walking with a permanent limp when you get your cast off. How are you going to chase down fugitives?"

"Who says I'm going to stay with the FTF after I move?"

"Mary, I told you. I don't think you should make any life changing decisions right now. There's too much going on in your life-" He broke off as they entered William's room and saw that he already had a visitor.

"Look who's here, Dad."

Marshall set Mary on her feet. "Hi, Mom. What are you doing here?"

Patti came forward to embrace her son. "I know, you told me on the phone I didn't have to come but really, Marshall. My grandson's been shot – what did you expect me to do? Sit at home and bake cookies?"

Marshall grinned. "Of course not – Mom, you remember-"

"Mary," Patti breathed the name softly as she turned and looked at her for the first time.

"Hello, Patti. It's been a long time." Mary was tense as she faced Marshall's mother. She was ready for a confrontation. Marshall had always been Patti's favorite, and she couldn't imagine that the woman had any kind words or fuzzy feelings for the woman that had abandoned her baby boy and grandchild for nearly twenty years.

But to Mary's shock, Patti reached out and drew Mary into a tender embrace. "Mary – it's been too long. It's good to see you."

Mary's eyes flew to Marshall's and he shrugged, as baffled by his mother's response as she was. "It's good to see you too, Patti. I must admit I wasn't expecting such a cordial greeting from you."

Patti chuckled as she drew back and studied Mary's face. "Expected me to give you a tongue lashing for leaving my boy?"

"Well, yes."

Patti nodded. "I'll confess that if I'd been reunited with you last week, I would have given you a healthy helping of my mind. But that was before I found this." She picked up her purse and extracted a letter.

"What is that?" Mary frowned.

"This is the missing piece of the puzzle – the reason why you left, Mary."

* * *

**A/N: I know you all hate me - but I had to do it! Reviews are LOVE!**


	15. Tell me how you feel

**A/N: Hello Readers! I'm sorry it's been a couple of weeks! RL has been crazy and I got a nasty summer cold - ick. So I promise the letter reveal is coming - but my muses decided, actually my Mary muse decided that Mary would take a little side trip first - sorry guys, I'm a slave to them. Anyway - enjoy the angsty goodness and know the payoff is coming, starting in the next chapter. Strong T for the Mann's language in this chapter.**

* * *

Mary frowned as she stared at the folded pages in Patti's hand. "I don't understand – that letter contains the reason why I left?"

Patti nodded as she turned back to her son. "You didn't tell her?"

Marshall raked a nervous hand through his hair. "It's been a little busy around here, Mom, in case you haven't noticed. And you weren't very clear on the phone about what exactly was in that letter."

"That's because I didn't read the whole thing – it's your letter."

"Then how do you know it-"

Mary cleared her throat loudly. "Excuse me-" and Marshall swung his head in her direction. "But would one of you mind telling me what the fuck is going on?"

"Mary, language, please."

She rolled her eyes as Patti smiled. "Well, glad to see some things haven't changed. You still have your mouth, Mary."

She shrugged and waited for an explanation, which Patti was quick to give. "I was finally getting around to cleaning out Seth's study – the room he spent the most time in when he was home, and I found this letter in the back of a photo."

Marshall frowned. "Which one?"

"The one I took at the hospital the day Will was born of the three of you."

Mary swallowed as her eyes fell shut. Something else she didn't remember. Did Marshall have pictures of them from back then or had he thrown them away because the memories hurt too much? She wanted to ask but the words stuck in her throat.

Marshall reached out and took her hand, knowing the emotions she was struggling with as Liam spoke up from his bed. "You mean the picture I have hanging over my bed at home, Nana?"

Mary's eyes flew open and she barely heard Patti's reply as her eyes sought Marshall's. He smiled down at her, his heart in his own gaze.

"Dad has pictures of you everywhere, Mom," Liam added. "That's how I knew it was you when we bumped into each other in New York City."

_Thank you, _she mouthed the words to Marshall, unable to find her voice yet but he nodded in understanding, leaning forward to breathe a kiss against her forehead. If he hadn't kept her pictures, told their son their stories, kept her memory alive, she would have been just another stranger in NYC – and would now be married to Raph, none the wiser that she already had a husband and son.

Mary shuddered.

"Are you all right?" Marshall's concerned gaze bore into her.

She nodded. "I'm fine – it's just overwhelming to be standing here with your mother holding the missing piece of the puzzle-"

"We don't know that-" he interrupted. "She didn't read the whole thing. I don't want you getting your hopes up."

"I read enough, Marshall, to know that this will fill in-" Patti broke off, her face coloring as her son's eyes narrowed.

"You did read the whole thing, didn't you?"

"I –I – well-"

"Mother."

"I'm sorry! It was a long plane ride and I was worried about you and Will and I'll admit I wasn't totally convinced about Mary's amnesia until I got here and talked to Will-"

"Mother-" Marshall sighed.

Mary laid a hand on his arm. "No, Marshall, it's all right. When we walked in here and I saw her, I was expecting a slap across the face and a verbal tongue lashing the likes of which I haven't had since Jinx has been alive." She paused to take a deep breath. "And I would have deserved it. I know you and Will are both furious at me but because of my accident, you've treated me with kid gloves and have put off your anger and so I'm still waiting for things to blow up – and now that your mom is here, she has every right to hate me. You've always been her favorite, Marshall. And the truth is, no matter what that letter says – I left. Nothing I can say or do now can excuse that – I walked out on you and our six week old infant son – and I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for that," Mary choked on a sob as she turned and hobbled out the door.

Marshall swore and punched the wall, then swore again as he saw the dent he'd made in his anger.

"Great, how much do you think they'll add to my bill for that?" Liam shook his head. "Go after her, Dad."

"No, I'll go," Patti pursed her lips as she pushed the letter back into her purse.

"I don't think she wants to see you right now, Mom, or anyone for that matter," Marshall rubbed his sore hand. "You stay here with Will. I'm going to get some ice for my hand, find someone in maintenance to tell about the wall, and then go find her."

Liam frowned. "Shouldn't you go find her after you get the ice?"

Patti laid a hand on her grandson's knee as Marshall left the room. "Your dad knows what he's doing – he's always taken excellent care of your mother."

He swallowed. "But what if she-"

"With her foot in a cast? I don't think she can outrun your father this time, Kiddo."

* * *

One of the nurses had taken pity as Mary hobbled past and handed her a pair of crutches. Whispering her thanks, she placed them under her arms and flew down the hallway, not bothering to see if she was being pursued yet, knowing it would only be a matter of time before Marshall came after her. She longed for the sunshine and fresh air, so pushing the down button, she exited the elevator and crashed through the doors into the children's garden, and slowly made her way to an unoccupied bench. There were a few parents with children in the garden but Mary dodged them easily, and she figured that a crying lady on crutches must have made a terrifying sight because the kids steered clear of her once she sat down. She pulled her good leg up to her chest and let her hair surround her face like a curtain as she placed her forehead on her knee. The answer to why to she'd run was within her reach and what had she done? Run.

Again.

Before Will had gotten shot, she had been scared to know the reason why she'd left because it might prove she was no better than her father – that running was in the Shannon blood and therefore she was unable to make a lifelong commitment to anyone or anything.

But after her near rape, everything had changed. Since Marshall's declaration of love and the memory of his kiss, she knew she couldn't lose him again. Mary was terrified that whatever was in that letter had the potential to tear them apart – this time for good. Yes, eighteen years was a long time, but they had managed to find their way back to each other and against all odds it seemed like they were still – no, it was crazy to think that they could make it work. _Everyone you love, you lose, remember, Shannon? That's why you don't let anyone in. It hurts too much when they leave._

A shadow fell across the sun and she felt a slight shift in the air as Marshall settled next to her on the bench. For several long, agonizing minutes neither of them spoke and then he lifted one of her hands and wrapped it around an icy can.

"Thought you might be thirsty, sitting out here in the hot sun."

She rocked her head to the side, one puffy eye opening to look at him. "What is it?"

"Limeade – don't get too excited – it's from a vending machine, so I highly doubt it's as good as Stella's homemade brew."

Memories assaulted her of the two of them drinking limeade at the diner after hours, bent over her physics textbook, his head so close hers that she could smell- Mary blinked. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

It was another long stretch of time before she finally sat up to take a drink and when she did, her head felt thick and hot. She swayed slightly and Marshall steadied her, pulling her against him. "Easy, Mer. You've been sitting out here in the sun for awhile, and you've been crying – you're a little dehydrated. I want you to drink a little of that limeade – slowly. And then we're going to move to the shade, all right?"

She nodded, her head still feeling fuzzy, but following his directions, the cool liquid tasting like heaven on her parched throat. He waited until she finished the drink before scooping her into his arms, and though she protested with a squeak, she sank against him as he walked across the lawn to the shade. He set her down on the grass and she sighed at the coolness underneath her.

"I'm going to get you another drink – don't move until I get back."

She grinned up at him lazily. "Or what? You'll shoot me?"

He shook his head as his hand caressed her cheek. "Don't tempt me, Mer."

She rolled to her side and sighed, trying to remember what she had been thinking about before – something about – Patti's face swam behind her closed eyelids and she moaned. "I can't lose you – not now."

"You'll never lose me."

Her eyes fluttered open to see Marshall lying in the grass across from her, his fingers gently caressing her cheek. "Good morning," he whispered.

"I fell asleep?"

"For a few minutes, yes."

She swallowed. "I'm still thirsty."

He sat up, reaching for her hands to pull her to a sitting position as well before handing her another limeade. "So was I right?"

She frowned. "About what?"

"It's not as good as Stella's?"

She smiled. "No one's limeade is as good as Stella's – or maybe I was just distracted by the company-"

Marshall grinned. "See, there's nothing wrong with your memory-"

She sobered. "The parts I can remember anyway. What if I never remember?"

He shrugged. "What if you don't?"

She set the can down in the grass. "Marshall, you've got to stop this."

"Stop what?"

"Being Mr. Optimistic. I need to know how you really feel about things – it's like I said upstairs. I know you're angry with me but you're pretending everything's OK because of the postpartum and the accident."

"Mary-"

"And I need to know how you'd feel if I never remembered marrying you and giving birth to Will. You've already told me those were two of the happiest days of your life – what if I never remember them? How does that make you feel?"

Marshall jumped to his feet. "Don't-"

"Don't what? Push you? But I feel like that's the only way you're going to tell me how you really feel. How did you feel being alone with a six week old baby? Did you look for me at all or did you just say, "Oh well, she said she'd be back so I'll just carry on until-"

"FUCK, Mary!" Marshall screamed the words into the air and the one family left in the garden jumped and beat a hasty retreat back inside the hospital. He ran a nervous hand through his hair. "How can you – do you even – I've loved you since the moment I saw you – there hasn't been anyone else after that could hold a candle to you. There hasn't been one day since you left that I've felt whole – it wasn't until Raph opened the door and I saw you standing there that I felt like I was alive, that I could breathe-"

"Marshall," she breathed his name on a broken sob and he turned at the sound, dropping to his knees to cup her face in his hands.

"Did I look for you? My God, Mary! I ran to the police station first thing but they told me I had to wait twenty-four hours and I thought screw that! So I went to the airport, bus and train stations myself, but do you have any idea how many people pass in and out of NYC every single day – even back in 1996? I didn't have a prayer of a chance of finding you – not without help and resources and my father refused, flatly refused to help me," Marshall paused to breathe, and he leaned his forehead against hers, breathing hard. "I went home, fed our son and rocked him to sleep. Told him his mommy would be home soon. I found a chain for your ring and put it around my neck, wearing it close to my heart for safe keeping. I knew you'd be back for it, for us. I fell asleep wrapped around your pillow, inhaling your scent."

"How long did you wear my ring?"

He shuddered. "Until Will was ten and he asked me if you were dead – I knew then it was time to let you go." He tried to move away but she grabbed his face, keeping him close.

"And when did the anger, the hatred start, Marshall?"

"I never hated you, Mary." Off her disbelieving look, he moved closer to her. "Really, I didn't and I don't. As for the anger – I'm not sure when it started but I remember thinking 'Mary will be sorry she's missing this' – about Will's first steps, his first words, his first day of school – and then I guess I grew angry at you for leaving him without a mother like you were left without a father."

She flinched.

"I'm sorry, my love, I didn't mean-"

"No, I wanted to hear-"

"Let me finish then. I think that's why I'm so quick to forgive you – or at least, try to let it go. Because it wasn't entirely your fault – if the accident hadn't happened, I know you would have come home to us."

She shook her head. "How?"

"Because we were a family – and yes, things were rough but we were getting through it and I know you loved Will."

"I loved you too, Marshall."

He went still in her grip. "What?"

"Didn't you know?"

He shook his head. "I hoped but you never-"

She smiled sadly. "You were supposed to read my mind."

"I would never be so presumptuous as to read your mind, Mary Shannon."

"I really never said the words?"

"Not out loud."

She ran a fingernail along his lower lip. "How remiss of me-"

"Mary, are you trying to kill me?"

She shook her head. "Can you read my mind now?"

He glared at her. "It doesn't take a psychic to know what you're thinking."

She grinned. "Then shut up and k-"

His lips cut off her words and she melted into his touch, reveling in the taste that was uniquely her husband. For Mary it was still all so new and some part of her wondered if the butterflies in her stomach had always been part of the experience or if she was just still nervous kissing him. But as his hand cupped the back of her neck and pulled her into his lap, the butterfly effect intensified and Mary suddenly remembered that it had always been this way with him – and only him. Every kiss, every touch made her feel this alive, this loved, this cherished. How could she have forgotten? She broke the connection first this time, breathing hard, blinking at him with wide eyes.

"Mary, what is it?" he panted.

"Was it always like that?"

His mouth quirked but he managed not to grin just yet. "Like what?"

"Like – wow," she breathed the word against his lips and he captured her mouth for another long, slow kiss that left her breathless.

When they pulled apart this time, her hair was tousled and her lips were slightly swollen. He grinned down into her eyes. "Yeah, it was – well, maybe not from the beginning – but it was definitely 'wow' ever since you deflowered me."

"Marshall!" she smacked him on the shoulder before giggling.

"Now you know why I'm not worried about your memory coming back- because even if your head doesn't remember, the rest of you does."

She sighed against his chest, not wanting to spoil his words with her fears that he would be the one running once the truth came out.

* * *

Liam looked up from the checkerboard as his parents came back into his room, hand in hand, and couldn't keep the grin from forming. "Please don't tell me Dad is going to have to erase some footage of you two on the grounds doing-"

"William Marshall Mann!" Marshall thundered while Mary and Patti hid their grins behind hands. "You're not too old for me to bend over my knee. So I'll thank you to not talk about your mother like that."

"Geez, Dad-"

"Marshall, cut the kid some slack," Mary drawled as she released his hand and hobbled over to the other side of Will's bed. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Sorry I ran out earlier – it's been a rather trying day.

Liam looked at her red rimmed, puffy eyes and down to the hand that was now caressing back an unruly lock of his hair. His attention was seized by the angry line on her wrist. "Mom, what's that?"

Mary jerked her hand back. "Nothing for you to worry about-"

Liam's gaze swept to his Dad and just caught the wave of anger that passed over his face. "Dad?"

"Everything's fine, Will-"

"The hell it is! Something happened and the two of you are keeping secrets from me – is it about Jessie?"

"Will, no. I promise you, this has nothing to do with her-" Mary's gaze locked on Marshall's and after a moment he nodded.

"Mom, why don't we go sample some of this hospital's fine cuisine and give these two some time alone, hm?"

Patti had been watching and listening with interest but now she jumped to her feet and left the room, glancing back at Mary with some concern in her dark eyes. Mary turned to pull the now vacant chair up to the bedside but Liam grabbed her hand and pulled her down onto the bed next to him.

"Tell me."

She sighed. "You remember my – Raph."

Liam's jaw clenched in such a perfect imitation of Marshall that Mary had to bite her cheek to keep from smiling. "The douchebag, yeah."

"Hey, watch your mouth."

He snorted. "You're one to talk."

She lifted an eyebrow. "Touché – well, he got the drop on me last night."

"What does that mean?"

"It means – your father rescued me from a rather compromising situation, OK?"

Liam shook his head. "Not good enough, mom. I need more details – how'd you get the red lines on your wrists?"

Mary winced. "Raph handcuffed me to the headboard while I was sleeping and when I woke up – well, let's just say I wasn't happy."

"Fuck, Mom!"

"Will!"

"No, I think swearing is warranted here – did he – did that prick rape you?"

"No."

"Mom-"

"Will, I swear he didn't. Your father got there in time."

Liam relaxed but then he reached out and squeezed her hand. "And you're OK?"

Mary smiled. "I'm OK."

"Good – 'cause I wouldn't want anything to happen to you."

She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "Right back at ya, Kid."

* * *

**A/N: Aw, a Mary/Will scene! That was so cute, right? And Marshall finally opened the bottle on his hurt/angry feelings. Up Next: Will Mary reveal her fears? What does Seth's letter say? Reviews are LOVE!**


	16. Pandora's Box

**A/N: Only 2 reviews for the last chapter - I hope more of you are still reading and enjoying this story. Don't forget to review - it feeds the muses. We finally get to the letter at the end of this one. Strong T rating again for Mary's mouth.**

* * *

"_**Hold, hold me for a while**__**  
**__**I know this won't last forever**__**  
**__**So hold, hold me tonight**__**  
**__**Before the morning takes you away."**_

_**-Rednex**_

* * *

"So tell me, Mary, what have you been doing with yourself for the past eighteen years?"

"Mom-"

Mary laid a hand over his on the tabletop and gave it a slight squeeze before locking gazes with Patti Mann. "I can't talk much about my work, Patti, but I can tell you that I'm a US Marshal with the FTF, just like Seth was-"

Patti leaned back in her chair as her fork clattered to her plate. "That's the last thing I expected you to say. You and Marshall both always seemed to hate Seth's profession – I never thought either one of you would go into the Marshal Service. And now here you both are, US Marshals."

"I'm not in the FTF, mom," Marshall put in softly.

"No, you're not. Which branch are you with exactly?"

He picked up his mother's hand and kissed the back of it softly. "Nice try."

She shrugged and turned her attention back to Mary. "So, can I ask what made you go into the FTF?"

Mary looked at Marshall and he shrugged, telling her silently that he would support her decision either way. She took a deep breath before she whispered. "I needed to find my father and I didn't know how else to do it."

Patti's face paled and she glanced at her purse. "Your father?"

"Yes, he's been wanted by the FBI for years but I knew they wouldn't tell me if they had any leads so I thought if I joined – Patti, what's wrong?" Mary broke off as she noticed the other woman was making small gasping sounds like a fish out of water.

"Mary," she whispered softly. "You need to read this." She dug in her purse and pulled out the letter, the same one she had tried to give to her earlier in the day. "It's – it's about –"

Mary slapped her napkin down on the table. "I thought we were going to have a nice family dinner- I don't – I can't – not tonight, please-"

Marshall snagged the missive out of his mother's hand as Patti gaped in astonishment at Mary's reaction. "Mom, I'll hang onto this for the time being. Mary's had a rather emotional day and I don't think she can take any more revelations." He got hold of her shaking hand under the table and she held on tight. "Now, why don't we catch our waiter and see what's on the dessert menu tonight? Mary says they do wonderful things with chocolate here."

"I love chocolate," Patti smiled.

"I remember," Mary whispered.

* * *

Marshall stuck his head out of the hall bathroom to see Mary standing in her bedroom doorway, watching him. He grinned around his toothbrush. "She's only trying to help."

Mary grimaced. "I know."

"She still cares about you."

"I know."

He frowned at her as he disappeared back inside to spit, rinse out his mouth, rinse off his toothbrush, and wash his hands. Marshall shut off the bathroom light and turned, trying not to jump as he nearly collided with Mary who had moved silently to stand in the hall just outside. Sighing, he reached out and placed his hands on her cotton covered hips.

"You know, she never said a bad word about you to Brandi? The entire time after my folks took Bee in and raised her, she never said one bad word against you in her hearing."

Mary's eyes were fixed on the fine hairs of his chest that were trying to poke out of his wife beater. "Really?"

"Really. Mom always liked you – she was always in our corner."

"And your dad?"

Marshall sighed. "You remember graduation day – the fight we had that resulted in me punching him?"

She nodded, her eyes still fixed on his chest.

"Things didn't get better after we got back from Atlantic City and we told our families we had eloped. He asked if you were pregnant and had coerced me into marrying you."

She flinched. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Because you have some memories of Seth, that's why. Anyway, when we announced that you were pregnant two months later, Dad thought we'd been lying before and he basically disowned me – which didn't bother me, but it broke mom's heart. So that's how we ended up moving to the city and living with Aunt Gina."

Her eyes finally met his, shiny with emotion. "And were we happy – about the baby, with each other? I mean, I know I was depressed and an emotional bitch but overall, we were happy?"

Marshall leaned down and placed a short, sweet kiss on her lips. "Yes, we were."

She sighed. "Until your father came and – shit, what happened? We have to read that letter, Marshall."

"And we will but not tonight. You've been through hell today, my love, and as your husband I'm putting my foot down and saying enough is enough. It's time for bed and tomorrow we'll face the truth, together."

She looped her arms around his neck. "And afterward? You'll still be here?"

He cocked his head. "Mary?"

She let her arms fall. "Nothing. Never mind – it's late, I'm tired-"

He caught her hands. "Is this what's been going round and round in your head all day? That something in that letter would have me running for the hills?"

Her fingers tightened around his. "I can't lose you – not now that I've found you. A week ago I didn't even know I was married and now-" she broke off, searching his eyes, wiling him to complete her sentence.

"Now?" he repeated softly.

"Now my dreams are full of you. I call and reach for you in my sleep and when I open my eyes and you're not there, I'm afraid it's all a dream."

He cupped one cheek tenderly. "All I had for eighteen years were dreams."

She leaned into his touch. "In my dreams, I remember your touch, your taste – us. And then I wake up and I remember – nothing."

His hand trembled against her skin. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought they were just dreams until you kissed me this morning and I realized that my heart, my body was actually remembering you – us. And I – I can't lose you, Marshall. Before I was terrified to find out the truth because it might show me I'm just like him – my father – the man who couldn't love his family and make a lifelong commitment." She turned and pressed a kiss into his palm. "Now I'm afraid to find out the truth because I'll be out of excuses and your sympathy will melt away and your love will turn to hate and I'll be left alone – without you."

For a long moment, Marshall stared at her in shock before he lowered his hand so he could gather her in his arms. "Oh my foolish, foolish love! I don't know what more I can say or do to convince you," he breathed against the skin of her neck. "If my love hasn't turned to hate after all these years, I really don't think a little information contained in a letter from my estranged father is going to do the trick."

"But, Marshall-"

"No, listen to me. I am angry – I'm not going to deny that anymore. I'm angry that you missed Will's childhood and watching him grow into the amazing young man that he is – but I'm also mad at myself because I've known for years where to find you. Just like I know deep down, you're angry with me too – don't pretend you're not. And I'm also angry on Brandi's behalf. She was lost and scared and she needed YOU – but I understand your reasons for not disrupting her life – hell, I had the same reasons for Will! We are so much alike, Mer. You're afraid I'll leave once the truth comes out and there's still a small part of me that's afraid you will leave again-"

"Never." She clutched him tighter. "Til death parts us, Marshall."

He chuckled. "So I take it you're not signing the divorce papers?"

She pulled back and looked him in the eyes. "Can I ask you something?"

He nodded.

"Did you give me those papers because you wanted a divorce or because you were being a fucking gentleman?"

He grinned. "What do you think?"

She slugged his shoulder. "Jackass!"

Smothering a yawn, he gave her a quick kiss. "Can I go to bed now? I'm exhausted."

Mary took his hand and led him down the hall towards her room.

"Mary – what are you doing?"

"What does it look like? I'm going to bed."

"Yeah, but my room is that way."

"No, it's not."

"Mary-"

She pushed him down onto the mattress. "What?"

He caught her about the hips, stilling her movements. "I meant what I said earlier – I think we should wait."

She frowned. "For what?"

He cradled her face. "We'll know when the time is right."

She sighed into his hands. "Could you just – would you mind-"

"What? What do you need?"

"Hold me for awhile? I promise to be good."

Marshall laughed. "You're never good."

She pouted. "Hey! I do try-"

His mouth quirked and she smiled at him before she pecked his lips. "Seriously, Marshall, I just don't know if I'll be able to sleep if you're not with me tonight."

Marshall kissed the corner of her mouth before he got up and turned down the bed as Mary cracked the window and shut the door. He waited for her climb in first, and then climbed in on the opposite side, careful to give her plenty of space.

"What are you doing all the way over there?"

"Sleeping."

She punched her pillow. "Slide over here. I might as well be sleeping alone if you're all the way over there."

He chuckled as he slid closer. "You don't like to snuggle, Mer."

She reached back and grabbed his arm, pulling it over and around her waist. "Shows how much you remember. Some things have changed- I like to be close to you."

Marshall buried his face in her hair. "I'll remember that."

* * *

_(August 1995)_

_Mary's palms were sweaty as she swept another test into her basket. She looked at the number of boxes and wondered if she had enough and briefly contemplated making it an even dozen but then thought that was overkill. Squaring her shoulders, she marched to the checkout and tried not to groan as she saw who was manning the counter: Maggie Black, the biggest gossip in town. But a smile crept across Mary's face as she remembered something she had seen just last week as she had helped Jinx home from the tavern. _

_Mary unloaded her basket on Maggie's counter and waited for the inevitable. Maggie snapped her gum and her eyes lit up as they traveled from the boxes to Mary. "Whoa! Got enough tests, Mary?"_

_She shrugged. _

_Maggie began to scan and Mary waited, knowing the gossip girl wasn't done. "So, you and your new hubby have a bun in the oven, huh?"_

_Mary bristled. "I don't know, hence the tests. But say, didn't I see you coming out of Cedarwood Flats the other night with Mr. Lee?"_

_Direct Hit. Maggie's mouth fell open and her bubble gum hit the counter top with a splat. Mary paid for her purchases with cash and left before the gossip could recover and breathed a sigh of relief. Her secret was safe for now – at least she had time to get home and take the tests and tell Marshall the results one way or the other before Maggie did._

_That night Mary stared in disbelief at ten positive pregnancy tests laid out on the foot of their futon bed. They had been so careful! Well – except on their honeymoon. Marshall hadn't been wearing condoms that night but she'd still been on the pill – wait, she hadn't taken it with them. Shit! One night! Could that have made such a difference? They were so screwed! His father was going to hit the roof! And what was Marshall going to say? They were still talking about the possibility of Harvard and now-_

_The sound of his key in the lock barely registered and Marshall walked into their one room utility apartment. "Hi, my love."_

_She grunted in reply, staring in dismay at the tests._

"_What's wrong?"_

_She glared up at him. "This is all your fault! You and your fucking dick!"_

_Marshall recoiled at her words, shocked to be greeted in such a manner. "Mary, what the hell-"_

_She rose and took two steps, grabbing him by the arm. "Look!" she pointed at their bed. "Look what you did!"_

_His brow lowered in confusion, then shock, then something she didn't know how to read. "Are those-?"_

"_Yes, jackass!" she screamed, releasing his arm. "And they're all positive!"_

_He ran a nervous hand through his hair. "So – you're pregnant."_

_She nodded._

"_With one baby – or ten?"_

"_Oh no – don't make a joke – this is so NOT funny! We are so SCREWED, Marshall! What about Harvard, huh? Not to mention your father, and our jobs, and-"_

_Her words were swallowed as his lips covered hers, and despite her anger and her fear, Mary melted into him, the butterflies taking flight as her husband peeled the clothes from her body and they celebrated their news with coming together in the very act that had gotten them into this predicament in the first place._

_Much later, Mary lay on her husband's chest, their legs still intimately entwined, trying to catch her breath. "What are we going to do, Marshall? We are so screwed."_

"_Yes, we are," he agreed solemnly._

_She smacked his chest and he laughed. "I'm serious here."_

"_I know," he kissed her temple. "Look, Mer, I don't have any answers right now, but we'll figure it out, OK? It's you and me, forever, remember?"_

_She lifted teary eyes to his. "You really believe that, don't you?"_

_He nodded. "Don't you?"_

"_I want to."_

_He brushed their lips together. "Then until you do, I'll believe for the both of us."_

* * *

Mary's eyes flew open in the darkness, her dream fading but the ring of Marshall's words resounding in her ears. It sounded so much like something he would say. Was it merely a dream or was she remembering something at last? She poked Marshall in the stomach and he grunted, swatting her hand away like a fly.

"Marshall, wake up."

"Mm, Mary, I'm sleeping." He rolled away from her and started to snore.

She rolled over and crept her hands under his wife beater, her fingers tickling his ribs. "Marshall-"

"Damn it, woman!" his arms pinned her fingers as he rolled to his back. "Do you know how long it's been since I've gotten a good night's sleep?"

"Yes, and I'm sorry but I had a dream and it was so real and I need to tell you about it before I forget because it could be a memory-"

He had propped himself up on one elbow while she had been talking and scrubbed a hand down his face. "Let's hear it."

"You don't mind?"

He glared at her. "You woke me up, Mer."

"Right. Sorry. So, I was at the pharmacy-" she watched his face as she told him what she could remember of her dream. At first he looked bored but when she mentioned ten pregnancy tests and their apartment, she could see the excitement in his face. When she finished she was nearly bouncing on the bed. "It was a memory, wasn't it? Of you and me?"

"Well, I can't speak for the pharmacy part because I wasn't there and you didn't tell me about it but-" he paused as he sat up slowly. "Yeah, that's pretty much how it happened."

She threw her arms around his neck, knocking him back onto the bed. "I'm remembering! I remember taking the tests and being scared and yet happy at the same time – we were happy, weren't we?"

He lifted a hand to caress the side of her face. "Yes, my love, we were happy. Will was always wanted and loved."

She wrinkled her nose as she picked up on the tone of his voice. "He thought he wasn't."

Marshall sighed. "You must realize that he blamed himself – thought that maybe it was his fault that you left."

Mary pulled away and sat up. "Fuck, Marshall! I never wanted – I never thought – no, that's not what – that can't be what happened!'

He laid a reassuring hand on her back. "I'm sure it's not."

She threw back the covers. "Where's that letter?"

"In my jeans in the guest room – why?"

"Because we're going to read it – right now!"

"Mary, it's three o'clock in the morning – don't you think we could get some more sleep and read it later?"

She looked at him in disbelief. "You're going back to sleep?"

"I was seriously considering it, yeah."

"Well, un consider it. I'm going to grab the letter and I'll meet you in the living room."

* * *

Marshall started the coffee and entered the living room to see Mary already curled up on the couch, looking drowsy.

"Mary, let's go back-"

"No."

"It will still be here in a couple of hours."

"I'm done being selfish, Marshall. I won't have Will blame himself anymore for my leaving like I did with my own father– not when this letter could give all of us peace of mind. So let's read it and get it over with."

"You have to remember it's from my Dad – it's heavily slanted from his perspective and may raise more questions than it answers."

Mary shook her head. "Your mom intimated that it didn't. So stop stalling and open the damn letter."

"You're the one that's all so fired anxious – you read it."

"It's addressed to you."

He grunted. "You're suddenly upholding the rules of the post office? It was never mailed-"

"Fuck, Marshall. I can't – just read it out loud, please?"

He took the pages from her trembling fingers, keeping his hand in hers. "Before I start, I need you to know something. I never wanted to divorce you – you are now and ever will be my wife. I love you, Mary Shannon Mann."

She lifted their clasped hands and kissed the back of his. "Quit stalling."

"That transparent, huh?"

"Only to me."

Marshall released her hand and carefully unfolded the crinkled pages and stared at his father's crabbed handwriting, familiar and yet strange after all this time. He glanced at the date and gasped.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, it's just-" Marshall cleared his throat. "He wrote this the day before he left home on the Maddox case. Almost as if he knew-"

Mary reached over and squeezed his knee, offering her silent support.

He cleared his throat again and began to read.

"_My dearest Son: I know that you will be shocked to hear from me after all this time and will no doubt never even read this letter but I beg you to read my words before you burn them because I have decided to break my long held silence and tell you what I know of the events surrounding your wife's disappearance. No doubt you wonder why I have chosen NOW to speak; none of us know how much time we have on this earth and with each assignment I accept I am well aware I might not return. If I do, I will burn this letter myself; if I do not, my darling Patti will find it and no doubt deliver it to you herself. _

"_But enough about that. You have long blamed me for having something to do with your wife's disappearance or at the very least, not using my resources to help you find her. I confess I am guilty on both counts."_

Marshall's eyes lifted off the page at Mary's gasp. "What? What is it?"

She shook her head. "Nothing – just to hear him admit it – I never thought – why?"

"I don't know – do you want me to keep going?"

She nodded.

"_Contrary to your belief, I never hated her or Brandi – both of them deserved better cards than the ones life dealt them. I know I was against your relationship with Mary from the beginning but not for the reasons you think – it wasn't because of her reputation or my dreams for your future. It was because I knew about her family skeletons._

"_More importantly, I knew James Wiley Shannon."_

* * *

**A/N: WTF - the Papas knew each other? Coming up: the rest of the letter! Reviews are LOVE!**


	17. Missing Piece

**A/N: Mea culpa, my dear readers! A thousand apologies for making you all wait so long for this chapter! My computer died and it took me a bit of time to get a new one - but things are up and running again! I could tweak this chapter forever, so I better stop and just post it before you all start sending me PM's demanding to know where the *** your update is! Enjoy. XOXO**

**Strong T for language and suggestive content**

* * *

Marshall stared at the words on the page. "Wait – our fathers knew each other? How did I never know this?"

"He never told you?"

"That he knew James Shannon? He never breathed a word to me about knowing your father – then again, why would he? We weren't close."

"Marshall, are you OK?"

"I should be asking you that – are you OK?"

Mary sighed. "So far, so good. It's about our fathers, not me. Keep going."

"_I've shocked you, I know. I've never even told your mother that I knew James. It's something from my past that I've tried hard to erase, though at the time, I thought I was being cool. I knew James in high school, back then everyone called him 'JW'. He was a senior when I was a freshman. Surely I don't need to explain to you the hazing that goes on between freshmen and seniors. But for some reason, when it was all over, JW kept me around as his personal gopher and I looked up to him, in my eyes he could do no wrong. I tagged along after him like a little puppy dog, got him water and extra towels during football and basketball games, and even carried his books home. He was barely making it in school and once he found out I was on the honor roll, I tutored him in mathematics and science on the sly. He didn't want it to get around that a freshman was helping out a senior – not even a jock. My dad allowed me to tutor him but didn't really like me hanging out with him and after the incident I was forbidden to ever see him again._

_See, JW loved cigarettes but he couldn't always swipe them from his housekeeper. So one day he stole some from the Stop N Go in our small town and that's when I like to think his love of crime was born. One afternoon I was in there getting some milk and JW and his buddies came in looking for smokes but the owner was wise to them so they left empty handed. I felt bad for JW and since I was still so starry eyed over him, I swiped the packet for him – and got caught. The owner called my dad and the sheriff and man, was I going to get it. But then JW showed up and said it was all his fault! He said he'd pulled a fast one when the owner had cornered him and his buddies earlier and dumped the smokes on me without my knowing – so I was totally innocent. My dad didn't buy it but the owner and the sheriff did and they let me go. When I asked JW the next day at school why he did it, JW clapped a hand on my shoulder and said, 'Kid, your dad's a US Marshal and I can see he's got you on the same path. Can't do that if you've got a rap sheet.' And he went whistling down the hall as my mouth fell open. Course I admired him all the more for what he did even though my dad grounded me for two months and forbid me to see JW ever again. I still saw him around in the hallways or on the field, but then JW dropped out of school a month later and rode out of town on his bike._

"_Now, I know you're wondering why I'm telling you all this, but it will become clear in a bit. Suffice it to say, I'm not proud of this part of my past and I don't talk about it with anyone. When you started dating JW's daughter and started to fall for her, I was not happy. Even though he seemed to be gone for good, the man was a wanted fugitive and like bad pennies, they have a habit of turning up when you least expect them. I did everything I could to drive a wedge between the two of you in the hopes that you would break up with her but my plan backfired in a most unexpected way when the two of you snuck off and eloped. Perhaps I should have taken a different approach and pretended indifference. Perhaps then you would have forgotten Miss Shannon."_

Marshall looked up and grinned. "Not likely – you are unforgettable."

She kicked him in the side. "Stop stalling. I want to hear more."

"_I was returning from a job in Nevada when the bad penny dropped back into my life. I was trying to unwind at a local tavern after a job when the man next to me leaned over and said, 'Hey Kid, got a light?' and suddenly I was fourteen again as I looked into the aged face of JW. 'Give me one good reason for not taking you in right now.' He grinned as he held up a packet of smokes. 'You owe me.' I reminded him that that was a long time ago and he said sins had long shadows. 'What do you want?' He shoved a letter across the bar. 'Give that to my daughter for me.' Before I could ask him how he knew I knew his daughter, he was gone._

"_I didn't relish the idea of going to see you and Mary – I hadn't seen you since the day Will was born and neither one of you had been exactly welcoming. I knew Mary would be less than thrilled to hear from her father but I wanted to get this unpleasantness out of the way so I could get home and forget I had ever seen this specter from the past. I made the stopover in the City and to my surprise found Mary alone in the apartment._

'_What do you want?'_

'_Can I come in?'_

'_I don't think that's a good idea-'_

'_What I have to say can't be said out here, Mary – it's about your father.'_

_I watched as her face paled. 'Come in.' I followed her inside and watched as she went over to turn on a baby monitor. 'Keep your voice down. Will just feel asleep.'_

'_How's my grandchild?'_

'_He's fine. Now, what about my father?'_

'_He asked me to give you this.'_

_She stared at the letter for a long time before taking it. 'How did you know it was him?'_

_I paused not knowing what to say. 'He – you have his eyes.'_

_She winced. 'Great. Stay here.' She moved to the bedroom and shut the door behind her. _

_I don't know how long I heard her pacing in there, but I did hear her whispering to Will before she remembered to turn off the monitor, telling him that she loved him and that she was sorry and that she would be back soon. Shortly after that the door swung open and she staggered out holding a duffel bag in one hand and Will in the other._

'_I have to go. Please watch Will until Marshall gets home – it's only for an hour.' She placed my grandson in my arms._

'_Mary, what's going on?'_

_She held up her hand. 'No questions and don't use your resources to try and follow me, Seth. Just tell Marshall – no, I wrote a note. I'll be back. Damn bastard. He'll not take my family from me.' She leaned forward and kissed Will's cheek. 'Mama loves you.' And then she was gone._

"_And that's all I know – God's honest truth, Marshall. Surely you've raked the system like I have and found that your wife is living in Miami now. I don't know what happened to her after she left that apartment. I didn't use my resources because Mary asked me not to and I wanted to believe her when she said she'd be back. When time passed and she didn't return, I thought one of two things: 1) she'd gone into hiding with JW or 2) she'd abandoned her family just like he did. For your sake I prayed it wasn't the latter but I feared it was, knowing that apples didn't fall far from trees. _

"_You have every right to hate me for withholding this information from you and not helping you find her – but I do hope that one day you can forgive me. I hope that this information is better late than never and that somehow you and Mary can reconnect if that is what is meant to be. Please know that I truly did only want you to be happy. Your loving father, Seth Abraham Mann"_

Marshall snorted. "Happy? How was I ever supposed to be happy without her? Stupid man!" He threw down the papers and for the first time in several minutes looked at Mary who was staring into the distance. "Mary?"

She didn't respond.

He knelt at her feet and took her hands in his. "Mary?"

* * *

"_-it's about your father."_

The words bounced around inside Mary's head and suddenly she was back in New York City, being handed that letter from her father, Seth watching with his hard, calculating eyes. She could hear Will's soft breathing over the baby monitor.

Memories continued to assault her – hard and fast. The day she and Marshall moved into their tiny basement apartment below Gina's – he had carried her over the threshold and spun her around. She had laughed, told him to put her down before she puked on him. Hearing their baby's heartbeat for the first time; choosing the name William Marshall Mann, though Brandi had argued intensely for the middle name to be Shannon. Screaming and yelling at Marshall – blaming him for her condition and then begging him to hold her; sending her husband out for ice cream and popcorn at one o'clock in the morning even though he had to be at work at seven.

And then that letter from her father had arrived, complete with a bus ticket to Indianapolis. She couldn't believe that after all this time he wanted to reconnect – why? For what reason? Surely he must have known that she wanted nothing to do with him after all this time – but the fear that he would go after Brandi or come to NYC and bother Marshall or see her baby – no! Mary couldn't allow that. She had to nip this in the bud. She had to go – alone – and tell him that she wanted nothing to do with him. So he would leave her and her family alone.

Mary trembled as the memories continued to wash over her like a waterfall.

* * *

Marshall continued to stare at Mary, who was shaking like a leaf on the couch, staring at a spot on the wall, but he knew she was trapped in the past, in her memories. It was killing him, but he waited and watched for some sign and when her shakes lessened and she began to moan, he slipped from his knees to sit beside her on the couch.

"Daddy-" she whispered.

"Mary?"

She blinked and turned towards the sound of his voice. "Daddy's letter."

He gripped her shoulders. "Mary, look at me."

Green met blue and Marshall felt the air leave his lungs, for the woman looking back at him was Mary, _his _Mary: the one who knew him inside and out, who knew which buttons to push, who knew his weaknesses and his strengths, his child bride and the mother of his son. He lifted a shaking hand and cupped her cheek. "Mary?" he whispered.

She lifted her hands and gripped his shoulders. "I remember."

"What? What do you remember?"

"Where do you want me to start?" her eyes were dancing in her face as she pushed him back into the sofa. "In Atlantic City, where your hands were shaking so badly you dropped the ring before you could slip it on my finger?"

"Hey!"

She swung her leg over his lap, straddling him on the couch. "Or later at the motel where we did prove that the bathtub was big enough for two but we got stuck and had to wait for the maid to show up the next morning to help us get out?"

Marshall flushed to the roots of his hair at the memory. "At least we had fun while we waited."

Mary threw back her head and laughed as she wound her arms around his neck. "Oh yes, String Bean, we had fun. I had no idea that men could be so flexible before I got stuck in that tub with you."

He played with some locks of her hair, looking up into her eyes. "And Will – do you remember our baby?"

Mary's eyes lost their playfulness and grew wistful. "I remember hearing his heartbeat for the first time, and choosing his name with you, though Squish wanted his middle name to be Shannon, do you remember that?"

Marshall grinned. "I do."

"And I remember your mother giving us a Marshal Star quilt for him – did you keep that?"

"It was Will's prized possession – it fell apart from too many washings when he was six."

"Hm. And I remember the birth and you helping me push and the pain -then there he was and he was beautiful-" Mary choked. "I can't believe I left. Damn him, Marshall! I never meant – you have to believe me! I was only going for two or three days at the most – I was always going to come home to you!"

"Hush, Mer, I know! Deep down, I always knew." Marshall pulled her against his chest and listened as her sobs were renewed, this time with the knowledge of what really happened all those years ago. He rocked her back and forth, like he used to do with Will when he was a small child, whispering soothing words in her ear and running his hands up and down her back. When she was calmer, he whispered. "What exactly was in that letter from your father, Mer?"

She sighed against the skin of his neck. "There was a bus ticket to Indianapolis and a short note, begging me to come see him. He said he had been keeping an eye on me all these years and he was proud of all I'd accomplished. He said if I couldn't come to him, he'd come to me – and that's why I decided to go – and go alone. I had no idea if he knew about you and the baby but on the off chance he didn't know, I didn't want him finding out. I didn't want you involved – especially Will. I wanted to keep him safe and out of my father's clutches."

"You should have told me – I would have stayed-"

She shook her head as she pulled back to look him in the eye. "Don't lie to me, Marshall Mann. You and I both know you would have gone with me. You would have convinced me to leave Will with Gina and you would have come."

"Well-" he shrugged sheepishly. "Would that have been so bad? I'm your husband. My place is by your side, to protect you."

"I needed to protect you too," she smiled sadly as she ran a finger down his cheek. "I didn't want you involved, I didn't my father to meet you – I didn't want you to meet him. Hell, I didn't want to see him but I sure as hell didn't want him to come to the City and find us, or go find Squish. I had to protect my family. So I boarded that bus and-" she frowned. "And that's the last thing I remember before waking up in the hospital. Somewhere between NYC and Indianapolis the accident happened."

"Did Sister Agnes witness it or just find you?"

"Oh! It's been so long I'd forgotten. Yes, she saw it but was too far behind to do anything. She said it was just dusk and she was driving the minivan across Ohio back to Columbus. They were nearing a town that was really no more than a bend in the road when the car in front of them hit something but didn't stop. Sister Agnes gasped and pulled over because she thought it might be a person, and it was – me. They called 911 and since Columbus was the nearest city, they followed the ambulance to the hospital and the rest of the story you know."

"So what were you doing in the middle of nowhere in Ohio?"

Mary shook her head. "I don't know – maybe the bus broke down?"

Marshall frowned. "And no one else was around waiting? Maybe you were meeting your father there and one of his enemies-"

She laughed. "I think you've been in WitSec too long – you're paranoid. Besides, if it was an attempt on my life, why not kill me in the hospital when I was a sitting duck for six months?"

He shook his head. "You're right – it doesn't make sense. This is what happens when you wake me up at some ungodly hour to read a letter that could have waited until-"

She smacked his chest.

"Ow!"

"Come on – don't be such a baby. Now we know why I left and I have my memory back. I'd say that's a pretty good use of our time."

"Again, those two things could have waited until-"

She leaned forward in his lap, lacing her fingers behind his head. "I can think of a better use of our time, can you?"

"Sleeping?" he whispered hoarsely.

"That's not what I had in mind."

"I know," he groaned.

"I thought you said it was presumptuous to read my mind-"

"It is – doesn't mean I don't know how to do it-"

She trailed a fingernail along his lower lip and smiled when he moaned. "What am I thinking, Marshall?"

His eyes flitted down to her lips and back up to her eyes, searching their depths. Now that she remembered them, it was like the missing piece of her own self was back as well. The woman in his arms was confident, seductive, sensual, and knew exactly what she wanted. But he still needed to know one thing before they continued.

"Wait here," he breathed the words against her lips as he slid out from under her.

"What the hell? Marshall!" she screamed as he disappeared into the guest room and returned a minute later with his wallet. She bit her lip to keep in her laughter. "If you've got an eighteen year old condom in there 1) I don't think it will work and 2) I think the horse is already out of the barn."

He glared at her. "OK 1) ew and 2) that's not what I'm going for here." He took a deep breath as he unfolded his wallet. "You asked me to keep something safe for you, remember? Of course, I did the best I could with Will – but right now I'm talking about-" he turned his billfold over and her wedding band fell into his open palm.

"Marshall," she breathed his name softly. "You kept it."

"Of course – did you think I'd hock it?"

"No – but I didn't think you'd carry it on you. The memories being too painful-"

He nodded. "Once I stopped wearing it on a chain, I still couldn't bear to have to it too far from me, so I put it in my wallet for safekeeping."

She rolled her eyes. "Such a girl."

He nodded sheepishly as he sank to his knees beside the couch. "So, I have a question for you. Will you be my wife, again?"

Her breath caught in her throat making speech impossible but she held out her left hand and nodded her head vigorously. Grinning, he slipped the band on her ring finger and sighed as it slipped easily into place. "I didn't drop it this time," he chuckled as he bent to kiss her knuckle.

"Marshall," she groaned, "Kiss-"

He surged up to meet her lips and she pulled him into her, matching him fire for fire. While the kisses they had shared while she had amnesia had been passionate this one left Marshall reeling from the second their lips touched. While submissive before, she now led their dance once again as she pushed her tongue against his mouth until he yielded, her fingers clawing at his wife beater until he broke free from their kiss with a growl and threw the offending garment away. She ran her fingers over his bare chest and smiled when he trembled under her touch. But when she reached for his pajama pants, he pulled away.

"Marshall-" she pouted.

Her words were cut off as his mouth ravaged hers and his arms lifted her up. Mary moaned and wrapped her legs around his lean hips as he began walking them back to her bedroom. She sucked on his pulse point and giggled when her back slammed into the wall outside the door.

"You missed the door, Marshall."

"That's because I was distracted by my wife giving me a hickey."

"Sorry, couldn't wait-"

"Try, my love. I don't want our first time in years to be in your hallway."

She released his skin and leaned her head on his shoulder as he managed to find the doorway. "Must you always be such a fucking gentleman?"

He laid her down on the bed and stood back to watch as she arched up, teasing him. "You've never complained before." He moved up her body with the slow grace of a panther and bit her earlobe.

She grabbed his face in her hands. "I can assure you, husband, if you don't get inside me soon, there's going to be a whole lot of complaining going on."

He chuckled as his fingers began to undo the buttons of her sleep shirt. "I definitely remember this."

"What?"

"How demanding you are in bed."

She opened her eyes to check his progress and her breathing hitched just before his lips touched her skin. "You've never complained before," she threw his words back at him.

He reached up to thread their hands together as his mouth moved lower. "And believe me, I don't intend to start now."

* * *

**A/N: What happens now that Mary remembers? Something tells me it won't be smooth sailing for our couple. . . . Reviews are LOVE!**


	18. The truth is out there

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, readers! I went on vacation for the first time in three years! But I'm back, so on with the story. Now that Mary has her memory back - what exactly does she remember? With the morning after comes - angst. Language and tissue warning for this chapter.**

* * *

"_**You've been havin' real bad dreams,  
You used to lie so close to me,  
There's nothing more than empty sheets  
Between our love, **_

_**Just give me a reason  
Just a little bit's enough  
Just a second we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again  
I never stopped  
You're still written in the scars on my heart  
You're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again."**_

_**-PINK**_

* * *

The clap of thunder directly overheard snapped Mary's eyes open and for a moment, she blinked in the darkness of her bedroom in confusion as the dream faded from her consciousness. She remembered being on a bus, looking out the window as the miles passed by listening to her Walkman and then- what? She shifted slightly in bed and her casted lower leg came in contact with another person and she froze. Raph? Wasn't he supposed to be on the road with the team?

A flash of lightning illuminated the room just as she turned her head and caught sight of Marshall's sleeping profile. Panic blossomed in her gut before more recent memories flooded her mind and she relaxed into her husband, lifting his arm to curl around her middle. She remembered how he had always given her space while she slept, unlike Raph who clung to her back like a second skin. Marshall stayed close, never retreating to the edge of the bed, which allowed her to choose when and if she wanted to pull him closer during the night. Like now.

She rolled over and buried her head in his bare chest, inhaling the scent that was uniquely him and letting herself relax for the first time in years. Raph wasn't the first man she had slept with since leaving Marshall and Will, but he was the first man she had let into her bed. The others had been more of a way of blowing off steam but had never evolved into an actual dating relationship. Raph, however, had been persistent and had refused to let her leave his apartment without her phone number and before she could change it, he had called and she had grudgingly agreed to go on a date with him. Mary closed her eyes, wishing she could block out the memories as easily. She should have never encouraged him. Something inside of her had known that something wasn't right – that it was somehow wrong to get involved with him. But of course she had shrugged those thoughts off for a little sexual release and pleasure now and then. It was easy to ignore the fact that she could never seem to completely relax in his presence because she couldn't relax in any man's presence. And if he sometimes hurt her during sex – well, whoever said it wasn't supposed to hurt?

"Mary?"

She startled at the sound of Marshall's voice. She'd been so lost in her memories that she hadn't realized he'd woken up. Tilting her head back, she met his eyes, which were surprisingly clear and full of concern.

"How long have you been awake?"

"I'm a light sleeper – the storm woke me about an hour ago. I've been drifting in and out but your touch pulled me back to consciousness again."

"Sorry-"

He trailed a finger down her cheek and frowned at the wetness he felt. "Don't be – what's wrong?"

"I'm fine-"

"Bull shit, Mer. Are we really going to do this song and dance number again?"

"I'm not following you."

He sighed. "Our wedding night? I woke up in bed alone only to find you watching a thunderstorm, crying. This feels like déjà vu to me."

"I'm not crying."

"Your cheek is wet."

"Maybe it's sweat – you gave me a rough ride, cowboy."

"That was three hours ago – I think you've recovered by now. Are you going to tell me what's on your mind or do I need to assume I'm lacking in the-"

Her lips covered his in a fierce kiss which he allowed for several seconds before pushing her back. "Mary – this isn't going to solve anything. Talk to me."

"I will – I just wanted to let you know that this has nothing to do with you – it's me. It's all me. I – I'm broken, Marshall."

His frown grew deeper. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh God," Mary rolled away from him and curled herself into a ball. "I should have told you all this before we had sex – and definitely before you put my ring back on my finger."

He sat up in bed, running a hand through his hair. "You're scaring me. Are you saying you don't want – that you do want to sign-"

She shot up in bed to place a hand on his chest. "NO! I'm going to burn those papers the first chance I get and if I have anything to say about it this ring is never coming off my finger again." She bit her lower lip. "But – you may not feel the same way after I tell you what I need to tell you."

Marshall placed a pillow behind his back and leaned against the wall. "So tell me."

She cleared her throat and licked her lips, attempting to moisten her mouth and gather her thoughts. Deciding that it was best just to bite the head off the snake, she blurted, "Raph wasn't the only one."

Marshall waited for her to say more, but when she didn't, he shook his head. "I don't understand – he wasn't your only what? Fiancé? Boyfriend? Lover?"

She nodded, refusing to meet his eyes. "Raph was my only fiancé, yes. But there were other men that I – had sex with to – relieve stress."

He flinched as the words hit him like a thousand tiny stinging insects that burrowed under his skin and he didn't know how he'd ever get them out. There was a strange humming sound in his ears as her words echoed round and round his brain until he shook his head violently to make them stop.

"How many?" he whispered.

"I don't – does it matter?"

His eyes fluttered shut and he pinched the bridge of his nose. He took several deep breaths before he whispered. "No, I don't suppose it does."

An uncomfortable silence fell between them, broken only by the raging thunderstorm outside. Mary didn't have time to reflect on the irony though as Marshall flipped back the covers and reached for his pajama pants.

"Marshall? Are you leaving?"

He turned back to her with an unreadable expression on his face but his eyes – one look at them and she wanted to weep. "I'm not getting dressed, Mer. I – I just need a little space. Are you hungry?"

She shook her head. "Not really."

He shrugged. "Me either but it will give us both some time to collect our thoughts and hopefully not say something hurtful that we'll regret later. Why don't you take a shower and I'll make us some food."

"I don't think I have anything-"

"I bought groceries yesterday."

She smiled sadly. "You're still taking care of me." Standing, she wrapped the sheet around her and walked towards the bathroom. "You'll be here when I get out?"

Words failed him but he managed a tight nod as Mary disappeared into the bathroom.

* * *

Marshall went through the motions of making breakfast without really focusing on what he was doing. Years of getting up early to make school lunches, feed his son, and get him out the door when he himself had literally just walked in the door two hours before came in handy now as his hands performed the routine tasks while his head spun and his heart ached.

He was in love with Mary – that was the one undeniable fact that he couldn't change. Since the day the two of them had collided in Jersey Joe's, his life had never been his own – it had been entwined with hers. Living without her all these years had been living half a life, even though he'd had Will, the best parts of them both.

They had rushed last night. In the harsh light of the morning, Marshall knew that. He should have been able to control his body's urges – but his emotions had been all over the map after discovering that their fathers had known each other in high school and then when Mary remembered everything –

Marshall shook his head. What had he expected? Mary had been engaged less than a week ago to another man – did he really think that Raph was the only one she'd had sex with since they'd been apart? Mary was a very passionate, sensual woman that needed – again, his eyes fluttered shut against the pain. He needed to get his emotions under control. He knew Mary needed to talk to him about this but he didn't know if he could listen to her tell him about other men touching her – kissing her – loving her when he was-

The glass he was holding in his hand shattered into pieces and blood trickled from the miniscule cuts. He swore under his breath and he heard the shower turn off as he held his hand over the sink and began to pick out pieces of glass, wondering where Mary kept her first aid kit. He'd just finished picking out all the ones he could find when he heard her footfalls behind him.

"Something smells-" her voice broke off and he knew she had seen the broken glass on the floor. "Marshall?"

He didn't turn around but waved at her with his uninjured hand. "I'm fine – just a little culinary accident."

"I'm not a chef, but doesn't that usually happen with a knife?" She moved to his side and peered down into the sink, letting out a soft gasp at the sight of his hand. "What happened?"

"A glass broke."

She studied his face for a long moment but he refused to meet her gaze. She produced a cloth from somewhere, got it wet and wrapped it around his still bleeding hand. "Come on, I have a first aid kit in my bathroom."

* * *

Mary closed the lid of her toilet and pushed Marshall down to sit on it while she hunted for the first aid kit she rarely used. Finally locating it under the sink, she turned to see that Marshall had closed his eyes and was leaning his head against the wall wearily, his wrapped injured hand cradled in his lap.

"This is probably going to sting like a mother fucker," she warned as she uncapped the bottle of betadine. She waited for him to make some sign of acknowledgement but it was as if the man had turned into a statue. With more force than necessary, she swapped and cleaned the multiple cuts, deriving a private satisfaction when he winced once or twice. She sterilized a pair of tweezers and picked up the magnifying glass that she had unearthed from her junk drawer. Scanning his hand, she frowned. "There are some tiny pieces of glass still in there – you or me, Marshall?"

"Just do it."

Sitting on the edge of her tub, Mary drew his hand into her lap and this time she was as gentle as possible as she probed and pulled out glass with the tweezers. Her mouth tightened with every jerk of his shoulders in reaction to her questing fingers. She didn't have to ask what Marshall had been thinking about to cause him to become so enraged he had shattered a glass with his bare hand. She knew her news would hurt him – possibly cause him to want to sign the divorce papers but she didn't think he would resort to caveman like actions about it. She knew he would never physically hurt her – but punch a wall or break a glass? She supposed she shouldn't have been surprised after the way he had come charging to her rescue yesterday with Raph.

"Mary?"

She jumped. "What?"

"Is the piece out? You've been digging in the same spot for the last five minutes."

She withdrew the tweezers guiltily, her face flushing. "Sorry – I think I got them all but we should have someone look at it when we're at the hospital later."

He withdrew his hand, cradling it to his chest. "I'm sure it's fine."

She stood and angrily threw the tweezers into the sink, listening as they landed with a plink against the porcelain. "Do you mind if I wrap your hand so you don't go bleeding all over my house? Or are you going to insist that you don't need a bandage either?"

"Mary-" he sighed as he opened his legs and snagged her wrist, pulling her into him. "Of course my hand needs to be dressed and that's something I can't really do one handed, so if you wouldn't mind-"

She quirked an eyebrow. "And if I did? What if I just left you sitting here and went to the hospital to see Will?"

"Visiting hours aren't open yet."

She yanked her hand out of his grasp as she reached for gauze pads, wrapping, and tape. "You have an answer for everything, don't you?"

He shook his head. "Not everything."

Her eyes met his and she swallowed hard. "I didn't know I was married."

"But I did."

Mary dropped the gauze she was holding as her mouth fell open. "What are you talking about?"

"I knew you were married. I knew where you were. I could have come and found you years ago – told you about us and Will. Then everything-"

Mary cut him off with a short, sharp laugh. "Then everything what? Would have been perfect? We would have kissed and fallen into each other's arms like the end of some fucking movie? That's not how real life works, String Bean."

She stared at him in disbelief and he couldn't help but smile slightly as she used nearly the exact same words he had when talking with Will not that long ago. And yet here they were, the morning after having wild sex – and her ring was back on her finger. But they were standing on the edge of cliff and there was no telling how long it was going to stay on her finger or if they could step back from this precipice without breaking their necks.

"You would have known the truth so much sooner. You and Raph would never have gotten together - he would never have had the opportunity to hurt you to say nothing of those other men you-" he stopped, unable to force the words past the lump of emotion in his throat.

"You can't protect me from the big bad world – I was very good at taking care of myself before you came along and I managed just fine after you too."

"But you don't have to-"

"Marshall! I don't need a protector – I just need you, all right?"

"And that's why I should have come sooner. I stayed away in some crazy misguided notion to protect my heart and shield Will in case you really didn't – but I should have trusted you. The guilt is mine."

She slapped a piece of tape across his bandage. "So – all my one night stands – my cheating on you – that's your fault? Do you have any idea how fucked up that sounds? Marshall, I'm a big girl and I'm responsible for my own actions."

He placed his good hand on her hip and tugged her towards him. Mary fought the smile tugging at her lips as he guided her down to sit on his lap.

"Can we continue this discussion elsewhere?"

"What's wrong with the bathroom?"

"We're sitting on the toilet, Marshall."

He kissed her temple. "You clean up in here and I'll get our breakfast and meet you back in bed."

"Seriously – food? I, for one, have completely lost my appetite."

"Hey, I cooked and you're going to eat it, woman."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, Dad."

* * *

Mary tried hard to eat the delicious omelet that Marshall had gone to the trouble of making but after three bites her stomach rebelled and she ended up just pushing the remainder of it around her plate, waiting for him to finish.

"Are you going to eat that?"

She looked up to see that his plate was empty and gave a tight smile. "No, do you want it?"

He shook his head as he reached for her plate and placed it on top of his, stacking them on the tray he brought into the bedroom. She watched him take another sip of orange juice, waiting for him to say something but when he remained silent, she growled in frustration. "Are we going to talk about this or –"

"You're the one that brought it up, Mer. I'm in the dark here, waiting for you."

"Damn it, Marshall. Don't you dare play the martyr card with me – it doesn't suit you. Things wouldn't have turned out differently if you had come and found me sooner-"

"You don't know that."

She bit back a scream. "How long have you known? When exactly did you rake the system and find out where I was?"

Marshall's eyes skittered away from hers. "Brandi came to me before her wedding – she wanted you there so much, even after all the years apart. So I promised her that I would do all I could to find you and that's when I searched the system and found out you were a Marshal and living in Chicago at the time. But this was six years ago and Will was only twelve, so I decided not to tell him. I just told Brandi-"

"She never called," Mary whispered, her throat tight with emotion.

He shook his head. "No. Once I gave her the confirmation that you were alive and well, she got mad and flew into a rage. It was like she'd been grieving your loss for twelve years but now that she had proof you were alive, she moved into the next stage of grief."

"And she's still mad."

"I'm afraid so."

Mary shrugged. "It's understandable – she was still a child when I left and I didn't try to contact her but don't try and distract me. Why do I get the feeling you're holding something back? Are you sure that's the first time you looked for me?"

"Brandi and Will think it is."

"But it's not, is it?"

"Mary, I don't see what difference-"

"No, tell me! You have some crazy notion that if you'd found me sooner, everything would be peaches and cream, Marshall – and I'm getting this tingling feeling in my gut that you've known where I've been for years – am I right?"

He hung his head. "I've known where you were since I became a Marshal."

Mary's heart was in her throat. "When was that?"

"Mary-"

"When did you graduate, Marshall?"

"2002."

Her eyes fluttered shut. Twelve years ago. She wanted to scream and sob at the same time. She wanted to scream at him that he was right – if he'd come then she would have had the opportunity to raise her son along with him and they could have been a family for the last twelve years. She wanted to cry for all the time they'd lost and could have gotten back if he hadn't been so – she drew a deep breath as the rational side of her brain kicked in. There was no going back to fix what was already broken.

Marshall was still speaking in a desperate, strained voice. "I became a US Marshal to help people but in the beginning it was all about finding you. I never dreamt it would be so easy – that you would go into the same profession. When your name popped up in the system, I couldn't believe it, but your picture was there in your file and I had to fight the urge to hop on a plane to come and get you and bring you home that same day. But then I picked Will up from school – he was in first grade – and he was talking about his day and his friends and the field trip I'd promised to come on as a parent volunteer next week and I lost my nerve. I told myself I could go when school got out, we could both go. But as the months passed and I had time to think about it, I began to get angry. If I had found you in the system so easily, why hadn't you found me? What was preventing you from coming to us? You were the one who left – maybe you didn't want to come back. Maybe you didn't want your son-"

Mary buried her face in her hands as the tears coursed down her face. "You really thought-"

He scooted closer but didn't touch her. "It had been six years with no contact – what was I supposed to think, Mer? By the time summer vacation rolled around, I decided to keep track of you, but not make contact for Will's sake. I wasn't going to risk having his heart broken – not when he was old enough to remember it."

Her heart ached to deny the words but her head knew he was right. Walking out on a six week old baby was very different from refusing to be a parent to a six year old boy. She lifted her head and met his stormy eyes. As much as knowing that he could have found her years earlier, she would not have him carry this weight alone. There was more she needed to tell him.

"Marshall – you are not – this is not your fault."

"How can you say that? If I'd been just a little more willing to take a chance, we could have been together for the past twelve years, Mer. You have to see that."

She swallowed. "Perhaps – but I'm stubborn and selfish. I could have also thrown you out on your ass and refused to listen to a word you said. I might have even signed the papers back then."

He shook his head. "I should have come to you-"

She leaned forward and cupped his face in her hands, stopping the movement. "This is not all your fault – I am also to blame here, all right?"

"I don't-"

She sighed. "Marshall, I lied. I knew about Will."

* * *

**A/N: What the ***? Want more? Reviews are LOVE!**


	19. And it hurts

**A/N: A thousand apologies, dear readers. I had several health issues that required my attention and laid me out for a month - I thought I was dying - but I'm back now and so are the muses. I hope you guys haven't lost interest in this story. One reminder note about this chapter - M&amp;M's son's name is Will, but he thinks of himself as Liam. Strong T label for this chapter for suggestive adult theme and language. And maybe a tissue for angst.**

**Last time: Mary revealed to Marshall that she knew she'd been a mother all these years. And now, Marshall's reaction. . . .**

* * *

Marshall jerked out of her hold and scooted away from her. "You what? You knew about Will all this time-"

"Marshall, wait-"

"I need some air."

"No, wait, damn it! I knew I'd had a baby but that's all! Please, don't go. I need you to listen to me."

Marshall was standing in the middle of her bedroom, his back to her, his chest heaving as he tried to get enough air into his lungs. At this moment, he was praying that he was caught in the middle of nightmare. Perhaps he had had the most intense sexual experience of his life last night and fallen asleep only to awaken in this nightmare world. He shut his eyes, hoping to block out the images and words that were crowding his brain but Mary was still speaking.

"Sister Agnes asked me in the hospital when I woke up if I'd had a baby- and I was horrified. I denied it because I didn't remember having a child or you or anything else about my life. When the doctor came in and told me that there was medical proof that I'd recently had a child, I didn't know what to think. Here I was in a strange hospital, barely able to remember my own name, and there was a baby out there somewhere that was mine? It was – I just couldn't wrap my head around it."

"What did you do?" he whispered without turning to face her.

"I recovered and tried not to think about it. As more of my memory returned, I remembered us but as I've told you, I thought we broke up at graduation so I didn't think the baby was yours. I started to have nightmares that I'd had a one night stand with Mark or that some college frat guy had come into the diner just as we were closing and-" her voice trailed off.

Marshall's eyes flew open at the sound of pain in her voice and he turned around to see her curled in a ball on the bed, rocking back and forth. He moved slowly over to sit beside her and she looked up as the bed dipped under his weight. Lifting his good hand to brush some hair back from her face, he urged, "Go on."

She took a deep breath and leaned into his touch. "I know I should have looked for the baby, but I didn't want to know – by the time I got out of the hospital and was recovered enough to where I could physically look after myself, it had been nearly a year since the accident – and I figured he or she would be with the father."

His thumb stroked her cheek. "He was."

She threw herself against his chest with a small sob. "I'm so sorry – I don't know how to make up for all the mistakes I've made over the years."

Marshall drew a long suffering sigh. "God knows I've made enough of my own over the years, Mer. Enough to know that we can't go back and change the past no matter how much we want to." He took another deep breath and wrapped his arms around her waist. "All we can do is go forward from here and try not to repeat our past mistakes."

She reached up and laced her fingers together behind his neck. "Is that what you want, Marshall? To move forward from here with me?"

He leaned his forehead against hers and she could feel his breath against her skin. "I don't know about you, but I'm sick and tired of living my life in neutral."

She pecked his lips lightly. "Is that what you've been doing, String Bean? Living your life in neutral – waiting for me?"

He didn't answer her with words, just stared into her green eyes before giving her a short kiss in response.

"I didn't ask you to do that – wait for me, live your life like a damn Monk while I was out at the bars, whoring it up-"

He snatched her by the upper arms and shook her hard, twice. "Don't you ever say that again, Mary Shannon Mann! Do you hear me? I don't ever want to hear those words cross your lips in reference to yourself again, understand?"

She nodded and felt his body relax as their foreheads touched again. "But I have to know if this is something you can move past, Marshall. It did happen- I did sleep with other-"

"I know, but do we have to talk about it?"

She freed one of her hands from around his neck and picked up his wrapped hand, holding it up between them. "I think we do." She kissed the wrapping lovingly before setting his hand back on her hip. "I have to know what bothers you about it – the fact that I slept with other men, that they were one night stands, that other men got to touch me-"

"Stop, please." He tried to move out of her embrace, but she tightened her hold and swung her leg over his lap, straddling him on the bed. "I can't talk – I can't focus with you on top of me like this, Mer."

"Try – I promise to sit still and be very good."

He looked at her in disbelief but she said nothing more and waited for him to speak. "I – all of it bothers me. I don't like to think of anyone touching you other than me – let alone loving you-"

She leaned in and pressed a brief kiss to his lips. "First of all, they were one night stands – it was just fucking, Marshall."

He shook his head. "That doesn't help. It doesn't make me feel better – don't you see? They still touched you –"

She lifted his hands and placed them on her chest, right over her beating heart. "Do you feel that – how fast my heart is racing?" She waited for his nod. "You are the only one who has ever made my heart accelerate – and that happens with a single look, never mind what happens with a touch."

Keeping his injured hand on her chest, he lifted the other and trailed it down her cheek, ending at her mouth. He watched as she shuddered under his touch and smiled as he felt her heartbeat accelerate under his hand.

"None of them loved me, String Bean – and I sure as hell didn't love any of them."

He frowned. "What about Raph?"

She flinched and tried to withdraw but he held her fast. "I – he said he loved me – but you tell me, Marshall. Do you hurt the person you love during sex? When she tells you 'no' do you ignore her and keep going, thinking only of your own needs? That's not the way it was between us – that's not the way you loved me."

Marshall tamped down the rage building in his gut as his hands ran up her torso, shaking all the way. When they reached her face, he gently traced the lines of her cheekbones and she sighed into his touch. "That's not the way it's supposed to be between two people who love each other – and no always means no. If you ever say no to me, I want you to know I'd-" he swallowed hard as the emotions overwhelmed him and his throat went dry.

She placed her hands over his. "I know. But I also know I'd never have to tell you no." Her lips brushed his softly. "I never loved him, Marshall – not the way I love you. Please believe me. You're the only one who's seen me at my best and my worst and never gave up on me. You waited eighteen years for me. You showed me what love really is – and being without you all these years showed me what it isn't. You're the only man I want, the only man I need. Please tell me you still want this – that you can move past this and go forward from here with me."

Marshall's eyes had darkened to a midnight blue and were sparkling in his face as he pulled her closer to him and she moaned in response. "Since the day I met you in that diner, Mary, my life has never been complete without you. I've been living half a life since the day you left – and if I have to walk away from you now, I think I'll die."

"Then don't."

His lips covered hers and she lost her train of thought as his hands caressed her neck and shoulders, finally landing in her hair. She moaned and pulled him into her, forgetting her promise to be good, smiling as she felt his erection against her thigh.

He moaned and pulled her with him as they laid back on the bed. "How about we focus on us right now? And never mentioning Raph's name again?"

She laughed into his neck. "Deal. But - Marshall?"

"Hmm?" he hummed lazily as he stroked the skin under her shirt.

"I need you to know something before we never talk about you-know-who or the other men again-"

"Mary-"

She sat up. "No, listen. None of them, including what's his name – I always practiced safe sex, so I'm clean. You're the only man I've ever trusted to come inside me – the only man I've ever let touch me that deep inside-"

Marshall surged to a sitting position and claimed her mouth in a searing possession that made the butterflies inside Mary explode into a thousand stars. He found her left hand and held it fast, their rings clinking together as he again lowered her to the bed as the storm raged outside.

* * *

**Three Weeks Later**

"I can't believe Mom isn't taking any of this with her."

Marshall looked up from his lap top to grin at Will. "I told you – this is a fully furnished unit – all of the furniture stays here."

"Including the beds? That's kinda gross, Dad – just think of all the germs that have collected over the years from all the past tenants-"

"You've slept on the pull out for the past three weeks, Son. Do you really want to finish that thought?"

Liam paled. "I think I need a shower."

Marshall grinned. "Don't worry – I'm sure the owner deep cleans the mattresses between renters."

Liam cocked his head to the side. "How sure?"

"Uh – where's your mother?"

"She's sitting on the log out on the beach – do you think she's having second thoughts about coming with us?"

Marshall shut down his lap top and turned to face his son. Will's arm was no longer in a sling and he had fully recovered from the shooting, at least physically. Marshall knew his son still had nightmares a couple times a week and he was concerned about the dark circles under his son's eyes that testified to a lack of sleep. Will insisted he was fine but frankly Marshall was eager to get his family home and try to reestablish a sense of normalcy.

"I think she just wanted a little time for herself before we left for the airport. She hasn't been sleeping well-"

"Whoa- TMI, Dad."

Marshall shook his head. "Not because of –" he waved his hand, not finishing the sentence that would only embarrass both of them. "She's been having dreams about the day she left us."

"She's remembering?"

"A bit – but not fast enough to satisfy her. Your mother is not a patient woman, Will. Now that she remembers us – she wants all of the missing pieces to be filled in. Your grandfather's letter gave her some answers and helped her remember but now the rest is up to her. And she's not being patient with herself."

"How can I help?"

Marshall settled a hand on his son's shoulder. "Just by being there. Let her know you love her – have you told her that since you woke up?"

"I – well-"

Marshall nodded and removed his hand. "I know, those are three of the hardest words in the English language. I waited eighteen years for your mother to say them to me."

Liam's mouth fell open. "She told you she loved you?"

Marshall nodded.

"What did you say?"

He leveled a look of disbelief on his son "What do you think I said?"

Liam grinned. "So tell me, Dad – was it just like the movies? Did you fall into each other's arms and-"

Marshall reached out and slugged his son on his uninjured shoulder. "Get out of here. Go tell your mom we have to leave for the airport in twenty minutes."

"Dad, can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything, you know that."

"Well, you said mom just now told you she loved you – but my question is, did you know she loved you before she said the words?"

Marshall's lips quirked as he tried not to grin. "Yes."

"How?"

"Because I knew her, Will. Your mother always said more with her eyes and her actions than her words-" Marshall grinned. "Actually, her words were her best weapon. She used them to keep everyone out of her heart – and it worked until I came along."

"But – how did you get through?"

He shrugged. "You'll have to ask her."

"You don't know?"

Marshall blew out a breath. "Will, there are some stories – some parts of our past that I haven't shared with you – not because I don't think you'd understand or you're not old enough but because they are private and personal and between a man and wife. One day you will understand this – and really, do you tell me everything about your relationship with Julia?"

Liam flushed to the roots of his hair. "Well – no."

Marshall rested his hands on his son's shoulders. "Nor should you. Some things are meant to be between a man and his –"

"Dad! Jules is just my girlfriend."

Marshall gave him a long, silent look before nodding slowly. "Of course." He cleared his throat and dropped his hands. "But you do understand – at least a little?"

"Yeah, Dad, I get it. Just – I don't want to see you get hurt again-"

Marshall turned back to his son, understanding flooding his eyes. "Oh, Will." He breathed his son's name out on an exhale of breath. "Is that what's been churning around in your brain and keeping you up nights?"

Liam thrust a hand through his hair and shuffled his feet, dropping his gaze to the floor. Marshall closed the distance between them and crushed his son to him in a bear hug.

"I love you so much, William, and I need you to hear me, all right?" He pulled back so he could look his son in the eyes, Mary's eyes. "I know that for all your life it has just been you and me and we've looked after each other-"

"Yeah, well, with your job someone's needed to look after you. You don't exactly sit at the courthouse and drink coffee all day, Dad."

Marshall chuckled. "Only when I'm on transports."

"Really?"

He shook his head. "No, but I'm getting off track. I made the decision not to go after your mother when you were a little boy to protect you and that's a decision I'll regret for the rest of my life because you could have had a mother all these years-"

Liam wrenched himself out of his father's grip. "You knew – all this time?"

"Yes."

"How long?"

"Since you were six."

Liam's face went pale and for a moment Marshall was afraid his son might faint. He reached out but his son backed up. "How could you?"

"Will-"

"No. I don't want to hear it. I don't think there's anything you could say that could- Fuck, Dad!"

"William! Don't talk to your father like that!"

Both men whirled to see Mary standing in the front hallway, her eyes blazing green fire. "Mary, don't-" Marshall warned.

She ignored him as she came closer to square off with her son. Ever since she had gotten her cast off three days ago, she was back to moving quickly and quietly and neither one of them had heard her coming.

"You apologize to your father right now."

"I will not."

Mary reeled back in surprise. "What's going on here?"

Liam laughed hollowly. "Did you know, Mom?"

Mary shrugged "Know what?"

"That Dad has known since I was SIX where you were? How does that make you feel? That he kept us apart all this time?"

"Stop it!" Mary ordered and Liam looked at her in surprise. "Yes, I knew – he told me."

"And you're OK with it? That you had a kid and he never bothered to tell you about it? Mom-"

"I'm OK with it because I already knew I had one."

Liam fell back a few paces in shock and she heard Marshall groan behind her. "You – you knew about me?"

"Will, wait-" Mary touched his forearm.

"NO!" he shrugged off her touch. "Get the fuck away from me! Both of you-" Liam shook his head, his eyes full of unshed tears. "I can't believe this. We've been living under the same roof for the past few weeks playing happy family and it was all a lie."

"It was not a lie, Will," Marshall broke in softly. "We are a family – we're your parents and we love you."

Liam snorted. "Lying to me – to each other – that's love?"

Mary stepped towards him. "Please listen-"

"I don't want to hear a word you have to say, Mary," Liam ground her name out between clenched teeth. "Dad was right not to come and find you all those years ago – was your amnesia a lie too?"

"William Marshall Mann!" Marshall thundered. "You will apologize to your mother right now for speaking to her in such a way."

Liam's answer was the slamming of the front door and Marshall raked a hand through his hair in frustration as he turned to his wife. "What the hell were you thinking – telling him that you knew about his existence? You must have known how he would react!"

Mary's eyes were shiny with unshed tears as she cleared her throat. "I was thinking that I couldn't let you take all the blame – and he might as well know the whole truth now."

"Well, that's just great, isn't it? Now he's furious with both us and probably will miss the plane as a result. Fuck, Mary."

"There are other flights, Marshall. We'll just wait him out – you're good at waiting. Remember how long you waited for me?"

He glared at her. "Now is not the time to throw that in my face."

She captured his hands in hers and squeezed. "All right then, how about this? You're always telling me that Will is a combination of both of us, right?"

He nodded.

"Well, we just saw my side – the language and temper – sorry about that, String Bean. Why couldn't he have inherited something else from me?"

Marshall raised a hand to cup her cheek. "In case you haven't noticed, he also has your passion for life."

"Oh, well, that's something I guess. Now, where was I?"

"You were going to say something about what Will's inherited from me."

"Yes!" Mary lifted her hands and cupped his face. "He has lots of your good qualities – but the one that I'm counting on right now is your good common sense. He's not going to do anything stupid. He didn't take the car keys – so I'm sure he's just out there pacing the beach, swearing and blowing off steam-"

"Like you would be-"

"Yes, but unlike me he will be back in time for us to leave for the airport."

He leaned in and kissed her, soft and slow. "I love you – no matter what happens, remember that."

She frowned. "What does that mean?"

Before he could reply, the front door flew open and banged against the wall. Liam stood in the doorway and stared at his parents for a long moment before grabbing his duffel bag off the floor.

"I'll be in the car," he announced as he slammed the door behind him.

Mary raised her eyebrows as she looked back at Marshall. "See? I told you he'd be back."

"Only because he wants to get home to Julia and away from the two of us."

"No, I'm sure you're-"

"Mary, how long can you hold a grudge?" Marshall interrupted her as he moved to pick up two of her suitcases.

She paled. "Is that something else he inherited from me?"

"You got it, Sunshine."

_We're screwed._

* * *

**A/N: Whoa - is there a happy ending for the Mann family? I'm seeing some therapy in their future - what do you think? Reviews are LOVE!**


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